We need to talk about the 'Old Jeans Theory' and why it's setting up mums to fail.

Since welcoming my first child I have never been more in-tune with my body. 

Quite frankly I am in awe of what it did, of the extreme places it took me and how it safely brought my baby girl into the world.

Over the course of nine months, the edges of my body swelled to make a comfy home while I grew a human. 

While you're here, watch Strangest Pregnancy Cravings. Post continues below.

An unexpected gentleness came over me, a newfound respect for my body after years of tearing it apart for not looking ‘perfect’. 

Suddenly I wasn’t worried about meeting an unrealistic beauty standard because my body had a different purpose.

A purpose to be healthy for my baby. And if that came with extra bumps and stretch marks, I’d gladly take them a thousand times over.

Image: Supplied

After I gave birth to my daughter, I was thrown into the newborn chaos. My life and my body took on a new meaning and a new job. Around the clock I nursed and cradled this tiny human who relied on my body to stay alive. It was the most challenging and rewarding thing I’ve ever done. Again, I fell deeply into a state of pride, thanking my body for stepping up and giving the most incredible gift of nourishment. 

I’ve never been more exhausted and in pain but my god it was beautiful.

I didn’t give a moment’s thought to how I physically looked. My body was in work mode and my main focus was keeping my baby fed.

As the 12 week mark approached I began to emerge from the fourth trimester and re-enter the world, so to speak. Slowly but surely me and my daughter started to find our footing as independent entities after three months of living in our own little love bubble. I had done it - I had survived! 

Up until that point I had worn a rotation of the same activewear. Like clockwork I would wake up, pop on a pair of tights and an oversized jumper before facing a day of breastfeeding, changing nappies and settling my baby to sleep. It was my uniform and my comfort as my body healed. 

I cloaked myself in clothing as if to protect myself from intruding thoughts. But the more I thought about my body, the more I started to dip back into negative thought patterns. Just like a recurring nightmare, I found myself back in a place of shame about my body.

‘It’s been 12 weeks, your tummy shouldn’t still be flabby’, I thought. ‘You should be exercising more’.

'The other women in your mums group are wearing jeans already, why aren’t you wearing jeans?’

All of these harmful questions swirled around in my head. And it kept coming back to jeans. Why. Wasn’t. I. Wearing. Jeans?!

Image: Supplied

For as long as I can remember, fitting into your old jeans has been the most common indicator that a new mum has ‘snapped back’ to their old figure. Growing up, I watched an episode of Sex and the City where Miranda joyfully celebrates fitting back into her ‘old jeans’. 

Once she fit into her pre-baby jeans, it was as if her life was good again. That was the standard and I never thought to challenge it. Admittedly, there are a few storylines from SATC that haven’t aged well but damn, that one really did a number on me.

But the problem was, every time I went to put on my old jeans, they wouldn’t do up. And every time I tried, I fell deeper into a pit of self-worthlessness. I cried to my husband; I told him I felt ashamed and curled up into a ball. I was spiraling and I didn’t know how to pull myself out. I couldn’t fit into any of my old clothes so I had resigned myself to live a life in oversized, daggy outfits.

Then one day I had a lightbulb moment sparked by lingering a little too long on a word: OLD. I didn’t fit into my OLD jeans. OLD. The OLD me. Of course that’s the key to releasing me from my shame spiral. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I had become someone new. 

I had grown into someone new. There are still fragments of me here but I am a new version of the person I’ve always been. So why am I expecting to still fit into an old version of myself? 

Just like I learned to love my pregnant body I learned to love my post-baby body. While I’m no longer carrying a baby, my body in all its glory is a trophy to myself and what I endured. I don’t fit into my old jeans and that is ok. It’s a beautiful reminder that I grew a human inside of me and that should be celebrated not chastised. 

As humans we are meant to grow and change. There should be no shame in that. If you don’t fit into your ‘old jeans’ you haven’t failed yourself, you’ve just moved into a new phase. My hope is that all mums feel comfortable in exploring their new bodies and feel immense pride at how far they’ve come. 

The 'Old Jeans Theory' is simply setting mums up to fail. 

So, remove those jeans from your wardrobe, donate them to charity and have fun finding your new perfect pair. 

Life is for a living and I sure as hell won’t be spending another minute worrying about denim.

Feature Image: Supplied