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OK.
We don't mean to alarm anyone but, yeah, we think that Bec might have called the police last night after Bryce forced a kiss on her cheek against her will and shut down production of Australia's loosest show.
But Booka and Brett didn't let an (alleged) assault get in the way of rekindling their relationship.
"WE WERE PHYSICALLY INTIMATE," Brett yells at a cameraman passing by and mate we're going to need you to calm down.
Alana and Jason are also on speaking terms again, after not sharing a bed for two of the three nights of the trip away and like Alana must really regret not bringing her vibrator?? Which she tried to bring but then Jason confiscated it??
But all the couples are still pissed off after Bryce and Melissa refused to come to the boiz/gewls nights even though the venue was five steps from their accommodation. So it's not like they got stuck in traffic. And then they played Monopoly instead. Which everyone knows is a sad game.
Melissa explains to Bryce that she would never have gone out without him and he says "GOOD WIFE" kind of like how we say "GOOD DOG" when our dog does wees outside.
Psst! Have a quick watch of the moment Bryce and Melissa get some heavy feedback from their parents. Post continues after video.
Melissa and Bryce then demand separate transport home while all the other couples share a bus and you better believe the others aren't having any of it.
As they get ready for the dinner party, Melissa tells Bryce that he has to apologise to Bec for getting "into her space" and for the (alleged) police coming to the (alleged) premises after he (allegedly) tried to kiss Bec. Aggressively.
But in case you were wondering, no. Bryce does not want to apologise. He says he's "past that" which doesn't make any sense, so Melissa asks him to do it for her. Kind of like how she played Monopoly. For him.
And that's a firm no. From Bryce.
As the couples arrive at the dinner party and start debriefing on everything that’s gone down, the experts - hiding in a cupboard as always - are shocked.
Pause.
Because we have some feedback:
John, Mel and Alessandra, you need to be watching the show. During the week. In real time.
Isn’t this your full time job? We don’t understand why you’re so ill-prepared for your weekly meeting, where all you do is watch a group of strangers have dinner? Like do your research ffs.
Belinda and Georgia are bitching about how they invited Melissa to come to the girls’ night, because she would’ve had really good gossip, but she chose to stay at home with Bryce instead. In their defence, it would’ve honestly been really annoying. Getting all excited for that gossip just to have none of it... arrive.
But shut the f**k up because Belinda got naked in front of Patrick for no reason and we need to talk about it.
Like, it’s lovely. It’s just not… a traditional sexual step. To simply become naked. In front of your partner.
She tells Alana in detail about how Patrick was relaxing (?) on the couch (?) so she thought she’d just go out there and take all her clothes off.
Alana is clearly like OMG AND THEN DID YOU DO ANAL and Belinda’s like haha yeah. No. We didn’t. I just put my clothes back on.
Meanwhile, Patrick is asking Jason how he thinks Bryce will behave tonight.
Jason says he’ll surely apologise for his encounter with Bec, and Patrick’s like: "Yeah, weird, it’s just that he hasn’t apologised the whole experiment. Lol."
Listen to The Spill, where hosts Laura and Kee discuss the moment that halted production of MAFS. Post continues after podcast.
The couples are still arriving, and Booka and Brett walk in together. Are they holding hands? No. Are they technically a couple? Uncertain. But this show is so f**ked that they’ve realised that as a couple who are no longer together, they’re still one of the strongest???
Furthermore, Belinda's outfit.
Planning for Bryce’s arrival, Jason and Johnny agree that as Bryce’s friends, they’re going to take him aside to call him out for his behaviour, and ask him to apologise to Bec.
“Every week we have a new drama that centres on Bryce,” expert Mel says and yes you did a very good casting sweetie.
OH NO THEY'RE HERE.
People greet Melissa but not Bryce, except for Jason who tells the camera that Bryce is over the drama. And yes he causes the drama. But he's over it now. And wants it to stop.
Jason and Johnny tell Bryce he needs to apologise to Bec, kind of like how Melissa did, except when it's advice from two men Bryce passionately agrees. "I was being a smart arse," he offers, and Melissa sits back, impressed with Bryce's original observation.
Oh.
But something is... happening.
It's Alana's face. The experts keep shouting about it. She looks tortured. Like she's holding onto a...
Secret.
About Bryce.
Alana says she's heard that Bryce is saying things about Melissa behind her back. And they're not good things if you get what she means.
WHAT IS HE SAYING ALANA TELL US IMMEDIATELY.
Once everyone is seated, Bryce, who ranked his wife fourth in a hotness line up, tells Georgia that he's finding all of this drama to be very "high school".
But Patrick's been waiting for his big moment.
"HAVE YOU APOLOGISED TO BEC YET?" he asks, choking a little bit on his food.
Patrick then helpfully adds that a) "I don't respect you at all," and b) "for the whole experiment, mate, you've been an absolute cockhead," THIS IS HORRIBLE AND LITERALLY EVERYONE IS SPEAKING WITH THEIR MOUTHS FULL.
Melissa asks politely that if people have something to say, they do so constructively, and lady you're married to the man who had multiple tantrums about the fact you don't have blue eyes.
But pause, because Bryce would like us all to acknowledge something.
"I've been a big advocate for respect towards women on this show," Bryce says and... have you tho.
He then shouts an apology at Bec, and the rest of the group accepts it. Except Bec.
It's at this point that Bryce walks out and demands his microphone be taken off. Which is confusing. Because he's still speaking. To the cameras.
Back at the table, everyone’s arguing over whether Bryce’s apology was genuine.
Belinda yells at Patrick for not thinking it was genuine and Patrick's like I JUST WANTED A FIGHT. AND THEN HE APOLOGISED. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT.
But Georgia takes the opportunity to ask Melissa why on earth she’s being so understanding. And Melissa has a speech prepared.
She explains that she knows what the rest of the group sees doesn't make sense. And behind-the-scenes they have heated arguments.
"You can't label him constantly aggressive," she argues and... okay? Can we label him... mostly aggressive?
"I get it," she continues. "The cocktail parties. The commitment ceremonies. It’s been horrific."
WHERE IS THIS GOING MELISSA. THIS ISN'T SOUNDING OVERWHELMINGLY POSITIVE.
She explains that they've talked about being together after the experiment. Moving in together. Having kids. And that's lovely.
But how about him being moderately kind to you. Or alternatively, remaining at the dinner table.
Speaking to the cameras, Liam says Melissa is a good prison wife. Bryce could murder someone and Melissa would be like 'it's all good,' and how is this a joke that's happening at 8.30pm on a Wednesday night.
BUT BRYCE IS BACK.
Melissa asks if he's alright and he says he just had to go to the bathroom because of 'bad chicken' and WHY ARE YOU A COMPULSIVE LIAR.
Brett becomes uncomfortable and starts telling a story about how he was almost attacked by a shark (??), but then there's a voice.
'Melissa.'
It's Alana. And she has something she'd like to say.
She's heard that Bryce believes he'll be single by New Years, which definitely goes against his current... status. Of being... married. To the woman... beside him.
He starts yelling WHEN DID I SAY THIS and no offence but does it matter... when.
Bryce and Melissa both start interrogating Alana and asking who she heard this from, and Melissa tells Alana she's sorry, but she doesn't believe it.
Alana clearly doesn't want to say because she's already thrown her husband 70 per cent of the way under the bus, but then she just... does it.
It was Jason. She heard it from Jason.
She elaborates that a few weeks ago, a comment was made from Bryce to Jason when Melissa went to the bathroom. Bryce said he should catch up with Jason at New Years, because he'll be single then.
But Jason has lost it.
"I’m not getting involved. I’m not getting involved. Thanks someone for getting involved, I'm not getting involved," he says on repeat and no offence Sir but you're very much involved.
Alana has detonated her marriage, but Melissa would like her to shhh pls. She tells Alana that's enough, and that she'll discuss this privately with her husband. In their scheduled daily meeting where they address the gossip that seems to solely and consistently exist around Bryce.
It's at this point that Alana goes into a state of shock about the fact that she just ruined her marriage to help someone who now hates her. She starts apologising to Jason but he's so mad. He has a napkin on his head and moves to the other end of the table, to continue muttering about how angry he is with his wife.
How dare she share a true thing that happened? About his friend? Who only wants to hoodwink a woman on national television? What's the harm in that?
UNTIL MONDAY NIGHT.
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In case you missed our previous recaps...
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 23: 'Mate. That was disgusting.'
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 22: No one can stop yelling at Bryce.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 21: The most embarrassing decision we've ever seen.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 20: The man who single-handedly "ruined" a marriage.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 19: Booka just learned how much her husband dislikes her.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 18: When you break up in front of your parents.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 17: The most tone-deaf groom in MAFS history.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 16: Bryce 100%, without a doubt, has a secret girlfriend.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 14: When your wife ruins a stranger's wedding.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 13: The most embarrassing thing we've ever seen.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 12: "I hope everyone in Australia hates your guts."
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 11: We're kind of... into this cheating scandal.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 10: You can't just force people to have sex.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 9. When you're a d**k to your wife on national television.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 8: The beginning of a dirty cheatin' scandal.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 7: How was any of that... allowed.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 6: John Aiken just changed the rules.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 5: When you see your match and can't stop crying.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 4: A bride just realised she had a one night stand.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 3: Precisely no girl wants to be told she's 'not ugly'.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 2: Coco's husband would like to be brutally honest.
The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 1: You can't just comment on someone's... teeth.
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