I often feel as though everything I know about Gwyneth Paltrow, I know against my will.
I know that in 2015, in the newsletter for her wellness company GOOP, she encouraged women to steam their vaginas. "[You] sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al," she wrote. "It is an energetic release – not just a steam douche – that balances female hormone levels."
She called vaginal steaming a "golden ticket," and claimed that – specifically if you're in LA – "you have to do it".
Of course, the woman can do whatever she likes with her own, personal, vagina. The problem is that she really did tell everyone else they should be steaming their vagina. Which is dangerous. In that you absolutely shouldn’t.
I know that a few years later, a case study was published about a 62-year-old Canadian woman who steamed her vagina over a boiling hot pot of herb-infused water and was left with second-degree burns.
I know that in 2016, Gwyneth told the New York Times she'd been stung by bees to fade scars and reduce inflammation.
"It’s a thousands of years old treatment called apitherapy," she said. "But, man, it’s painful."
No... sh*t.
"It's actually pretty incredible if you research it," she added.
I know that a few years later, a 55-year-old Spanish woman died following repeated exposures to an acupuncture method that used live, stinging bees instead of traditional needles.
I know that in 2017, GOOP began selling jade eggs, claiming they enhanced your libido and physical appearance.
I know a California gynecologist wrote an open letter to Gwyneth, saying the eggs and their 'benefits' were "the biggest load of garbage I have read on your site since vaginal steaming."
Listen to Cancelled about Gwyneth Paltrow. Post continues after podcast.
I know her skincare routine involves $900 worth of products and that she uses sunscreen like a highlighter, because – according to her – there are "really harsh chemicals" in conventional sunscreen.
I know she'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin, and I know she'd rather die than let her kid eat Cup-a-Soup.
And I know that, for most rational human beings, this is all flagrantly hilarious.
Now, thanks to an interview on The Art of Being Well podcast, I also know she's "used ozone therapy rectally." I know that none of us know exactly what that means, but that it must involve administering ozone gas into your body via your bum hole.
I know she does the entire interview with an IV drip inserted into her hand, as though she is a sick patient in hospital instead of a wealthy celebrity in a beautiful home, administering vitamins into her bloodstream that, traditionally, would come from food.
But I know that if she's telling the truth about what she eats, she doesn't get many vitamins from food. Because she hardly consumes any.
In the interview, Gwyneth is interviewed by Dr. Will Cole about her wellness practices. Cole, it should be noted, is not a medical doctor. Perhaps for some silly reason, like the fact he uses the title Dr and is speaking authoritatively about health, you assumed he was, but that would be on you. Because he's obviously a Functional Medicine Practitioner, Doctor of Natural Medicine and Doctor of Chiropractic, who is in no way qualified to practice medicine or to diagnose or treat diseases or medical conditions.
It says so, right there, in a very inconspicuous spot on his website.
In a viral clip from the podcast, Gwyneth tells Dr. Cole she practices intermittent fasting until around noon.
"In the morning I’ll have some things that won’t spike my blood sugar, so I have coffee," she says. "But I really like soup for lunch. I have bone broth for lunch a lot of the days [sic]."
"I try to do one hour of movement, so I’ll either take a walk, or I’ll do pilates, or I’ll do my Tracy Anderson [fitness routine].
"And then... I dry brush and I get in the sauna. So I do my infrared sauna for 30 minutes."
After a big day of (??????), she finally has a paleo dinner with "lots of vegetables" to "support [her] detox."
So as a 50-year-old, physically active woman, she consumes mostly soup, bone broth, and vegetables.
@dearmedia #gwynethpaltrow shares her daily wellness routine on The Art Of Being Well, listen now 🎧 #wellnessroutine #healthandwellness #healthylifestyle #routines #goop #podcastclips ♬ Aesthetic - Tollan Kim
It would, however, be disingenuous and unfair to take a small section of what Gwyneth says over the course of a 70-minute interview and draw conclusions from it. So I listened to the full conversation.
And in her defence, there are other elements to her diet. "Celery juice with lemon," for example. Or simply "lemon water".
She says she has "trouble with methylation" and her "body is not a natural detoxer," hence why, I guess, she feels she need to detox. Always.
Speaking of her paleo dinners, she adds, "It was hard at first when I thought, 'Oh, I'm going to have to eliminate all the joys and all the pleasure' and it's not true. There are so many ingredients that are packed with flavour — chilis and herbs and lemon."
None of those things have calories, Gwyneth.
Over the weekend, Gwyneth answered a question about the "backlash" to her interview on her Instagram stories.
"I think it's important for everybody to know that I was doing a podcast with my doctor," she says. A doctor who, it bears repeating, does not practice medicine. And cannot diagnose or treat medical conditions.
"So, this is a person I've been working with for over two years now to deal with some chronic stuff," she adds.
Gwyneth explains that she's had long COVID and one of her symptoms includes "very high levels of inflammation over time".
"I've been working with Dr. Cole to really focus on foods that aren't inflammatory," she says. "So, lots of cooked vegetables, all kinds of protein, healthy carbs to really lower inflammation. It's been working really well."
Her diet, she explains, is based on her medical results and "extensive testing that I've done over time."
She concludes that the podcast episode was meant to be a "transparent look at a conversation" between her and her doctor, and is "not meant to be advice for anybody else".
"It's really just what has worked for me, and it's been very powerful and very positive. This is not to say I eat this way all day, every day. And by the way, I eat far more than bone broth and vegetables.
"I eat full meals, and I also have a lot of days of eating whatever I want. You know, eating french fries and whatever. My baseline has been to try to be healthy and eat foods that will really calm the system down."
Of course, it's one thing to have a conversation about your health in private. It's another to broadcast it publicly, and detail a diet that, if followed on face value, would be dangerous.
It seems absurd to point out the problems with Gwyneth Paltrow's wellness advice. Because we know.
We know you don't need to detox because that's the function of the human liver.
We know broth isn't a meal and our brains need carbs and that eating is good and healthy and what Gwyneth is describing is a starvation of sorts.
We know. Don't we?
But what is it that we actually know? What is it we're willing to say?
What Gwyneth Paltrow has been describing to us for years, in eccentric soundbites from interviews and in diet and workout stories for GOOP and in quirky videos about smoothies, is a promotion of dangerous food habits.
Time and time again, she's opened her front door and invited us in to witness eating habits that have haunted women and girls for a lifetime. Women and girls who can't afford to buy an IV to pump them full of the vitamins they should be getting from food. Women and girls whose minds are full of potential, and who instead will spend an immeasurable portion of their lives thinking about what's 'clean' and how to 'detox' and whether their 'gut health' depends on them cutting out every food that gives them joy.
And Hollywood and sections of the media and plenty of consumers seem to think it's fine.
In a video responding to Gwyneth's recent interview, plus-size model Tess Holliday says, "what I find most mental about this, and what we've known for years, is that she is okay with glorifying her eating disorder."
She goes on to share a story about attending an event with 'GP'.
"I was at a big, fancy Hollywood event years ago," she says. "[Gwyneth] was at a table with Rachel Zoe... and it was a seated dinner and we had a set course. A set meal. And she loudly... let everyone know, in this very tiny room... that her and her table, which were a handful of her close friends... that they were going to have something different. Pizza. But not just any pizza. Cauliflower crust pizza with no cheese.
"Everyone just laughed like it was no big deal."
That's often what we do when we're uncomfortable. We laugh, because we don't know what to say.
Perhaps what Gwyneth Paltrow is selling as wellness is, in fact, sickness.
And it's time we – and the people around her – stopped laughing.
For more from Clare Stephens, you can follow her on Instagram. You can listen to Cancelled about Gwyneth Paltrow on Apple or Spotify.
Image: @gwynethpaltrow Instagram + Mamamia.
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