11 women share what surprised them most during menopause.

Being a woman ain't easy. 

Sure, there's plenty to love about being a woman, but when it comes to the unique experiences of our bodies — from getting our period to pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, endometriosis, pelvic floor issues and of course, menopause, there’s no shortage of surprises waiting to ambush us at every stage of life. 

While generations past seem to have made do with euphemistically referring to 'the change' and skimming over the details of what perimenopause and menopause can actually involve, thankfully times they are a-changing. 

No longer do women have to hide their symptoms with shame or scratch their heads (and their ears — more on that below), wondering "is this just me?"

Part of this change around 'the change' is thanks to having public discussions about it, well and truly out of the shadows. From Holly Wainwright's podcast MID, and Ali Daddo's candidness around the reality of sex in perimenopause, to Naomi Watts' panic around early perimenopause, and Mia Freedman discussing her peri journey which went on to launch the Very Peri Summit. 

If you're anything like me, you’ve devoured this content hungrily, desperate for information. I'm fully anticipating my hormones to go haywire over the next few years. At the age of 42, perimenopause has just started making itself known in the form of wildly unpredictable periods. No longer is my cycle as reliable as the monthly full moon; it's playing a game of its own without any rules.

There are also plenty of us desperate for information on the topic of treatments, and finding relief from menopause symptoms that's both effective and easy to access. Remifemin is a market-leading option that contains a natural plant extract, black cohosh, shown clinically to support menopause relief for hot flushes and night sweats. What's reassuring is that Remifemin is hormone-free, and backed by over 60 years of research — easily accessible from your local pharmacy without a prescription. (Always read the label and follow the directions for use.)

In the interest of helping us all approach perimenopause with more information, as well as great options for relief, I asked some of the fabulous women in perimenopause, menopause and postmenopause from the Mamamia Out Loud community to share their experiences, including what surprised them most. 

Here's what they said. 

Remember those itchy ears I mentioned? A few women said they'd experienced bouts of extreme itchiness on their ears and elsewhere, including Sara, who wasn’t quite ready for peri's arrival. She was most surprised by "how early symptoms can begin. The itchy ears, random aches and pains, and also how ‘lost' I feel."

Kirsten said the same about itchiness: "Itchy face, ears and hands. So random but painful."

A frozen shoulder and insulin resistance were also mentioned by a number of women, including Ruth: "I was most surprised by frozen shoulder and how long it can take you to fix. I'm nearly at the end of this nearly 12 months on. And insulin resistance. Lots of others. But they are two things we talk about that lots have."

A lack of understanding and support from medical professionals was also a surprising experience for some.

"So many women are dismissed by their GPs. One friend said her male GP literally had to google peri whilst she was there! It’s like you have to go into battle to get help if you don’t have the right doctor," said Lisa-Marie.

Sadly, the early stages of menopause for some can go hand-in-hand with mental health struggles. Kelly struggled with: "Massive anxiety and depression. Marriage ended. I was 'no fun anymore' according to my husband at the time. I was certain that the world would be a better place without me. That I was a terrible role model for my kids. The daily chat at dinner time used to be around 'let’s talk about something positive in our day.' I had nothing to contribute."

Alexandra has had a tough time, exacerbated by her doctor's denial that she could be in perimenopause. "The mental health aspect of acute depression was unexpected and is really, really hard. Going to my doctor and being told 'you’re too young for perimenopause' wasn’t fabulous, especially when dealing with night sweats and flooding. It felt like I was ignored, unseen, unheard and basically had to keep searching for answers."

Danielle was also surprised by "how much it’s impacting my mental health and functioning. It’s a struggle each day to be honest. I’ve been diagnosed with Complex PTSD and this is just an added extra I didn’t expect!"

Turns out, the physical symptoms can be really varied from person to person, and it’s so much more than just hot flushes. As Anna said, "I thought it was all hot flushes — which I didn’t have. I now realise it can be a myriad of lower-impact, annoying things that all add up to just feeling 'bleurgh'."

For Lisa, a number of symptoms came out to play from hair loss to mouth ulcers, gum recession, and muscle aches and pains. But in particular, she called out the surprising intensity of her mood swings: "Sudden rage! I'm a temperate person but I could just go from zero to 90 when someone pissed me off. I kind of enjoyed this. Spent a lifetime putting up with crap, and then my oestrogen left the building and I went Lady Hulk. Best was when my husband dug up my bulbs to make space in the garden beds (!?) so I kicked over his lupins. He was as shocked as I was."

Sarah shared very candidly about flooding, and I'm definitely grateful for that heads-up: "I was at a work Christmas lunch and suddenly felt the floodgates open, leapt up and hobbled to the bathroom, and tried to use damp hand towels to dab my light blue jeans and then discreetly standing under the hand dryer between visitors at the trendy restaurant unisex bathroom. It’s happened a few times since, I did not know this was a thing."

Audrey was also surprised by the vaginal symptoms and how they had a bigger impact. "How much it dries you out down below — and the impact that can have on your relationship and sex life."

Check out Remifemin for menopause symptom relief of hot flushes and night sweats, available in pharmacies without a prescription.

Always read the label and follow the directions for use.

Remifemin is the world’s number one selling pharmacy menopause relief brands, according to IQVIA Midas OTC 12D4 2023 Volume (77 countries).

Feature Image: Getty.