Chances are, growing up you’ve probably been told there are a few topics to avoid in social settings.
Religion, politics, money and... sex.
For many, taboo chats are completely off-limits but as it so happens, for others sharing the intimate details of their sex lives is a non-negotiable friendship builder.
Watch: How are women having sex? The juiciest results from the Mamamia Sex Survey. Post continues below.
So, we took to our Mamamia community to get a read on their feelings.
How do you feel about ~the sex chat~ with your mates? And how does it affect your relationship with your partner or partners?
Here are all of their juicy responses.
Maddie, 21
Relationship status: Single.
"How much I share about my sex life mostly depends on the friend or person (because sometimes I will tell complete strangers more about my sex life than long-term friends). Not everyone feels comfortable having an open discussion about it, and people can make you feel embarrassed for 'oversharing', particularly if the conversation involves more taboo topics like kinks or sex toys.
"You can usually tell pretty quickly who is more conservative and steer the conversation away if needed! Everyone also has differing levels of sexual experience, which is another thing to consider if you are wanting some kind of advice or response from them.
"If someone has never experienced or doesn't believe in casual sex, they may not be able to meet you halfway for that conversation. I am also mindful of the details I share regarding people's names and faces, as it's the other person's privacy as well, so would only share that with people I know will respect that information."
Anna, 52
Relationship status: Married for 23 years.
"When I was younger (pre-marriage) I was fairly sexually promiscuous and my close girlfriend and I spoke about sex a lot, we even participated in a threesome together one drunken night when we brought home a much younger mutual male friend so there were no secrets at all.
"These days I have a couple of close girlfriends and mostly we moan about how much our husband’s still want sex and we want pretty much anything but sex. I have learned that over the years of a long marriage that sex comes and goes we all have different seasons and it is a bit like that when I talk about it with friends.
"We are all just so tired from work, kids and life that sex is low on the priority list.
"My closest girlfriend and I laugh about how we tell the kids to put their music on because we need to take one for the team, especially when their dad is in a grumpy mood. It sounds like sex is terrible it isn’t, actually it is pretty amazing when it happens. But we do talk about how we can avoid sex."
James, 34
Relationship status: In a relationship.
"My friends and I share everything about our sex lives; we have even seen each other past partners' nudes.
"For my gay friends, there aren't really any topics that are off-limits. We will talk about everything and anything. I found with my girlfriends they tend to be a little closed off at first, but once they realise it's a safe space and no judgement they are happy to discuss.
"When I was younger I was an open book with my friends, but in my current relationship we will usually discuss our sex lives with our friends while together, and not divulge everything.
"I can't speak for the entire gay community but in my circle of gay friends we will go in the nitty-gritty. There are other gay friends though, where I can tell they aren't comfortable and we'll skim the surface.
"I think if they are true friends you both should feel comfortable to discuss it so you can all learn more. Sex shouldn't be a topic that we're grossed out by. I also think with the gay community that's how we discovered how to douche properly, or how to relax for anal intercourse, or for a top to learn how to read the bottoms sounds to know they are enjoying it.
"I think talking about sex has benefited me for sure. I have learnt different styles or techniques, and discussing it also proves that sex isn't what you see in pornography. I think the more you open up and discuss the topic the better your experience with sex can be and you might find out that you have a healthy kink or fetish."
Amy, 24
Relationship status: Married.
"I've only got one friend who I'm open with about my sex life.
"We've been friends for 15 years, so we feel comfortable talking about anything and everything with each other - bodily functions, mental health, sex, whatever. Outside of that friendship though, I don't really discuss it with anyone!
"I'm in a long-term relationship, so it might be different if I was frequently dating. I think it's a massive positive for our friendship and both of our sex lives! We're both in long-term relationships, so it's really good to have someone to talk to from that perspective of keeping things exciting when you've been together forever."
Sasha, 46
Relationship status: Semi-polyamorous.
"I am a 46-year-old sex worker (she/they) and am ‘out’ to friends and family, so always open to conversations about sex. I don’t like the word single (I would consider myself semi-polyamorous), but I live alone with my cat, and I have no children.
"I am very open to talking about my experiences, but am conscious of the listener. Some friends want to talk about sex a lot and some, not so much. Some can handle some pretty graphic details, others just prefer to hear the nice stories.
"I’ve always found sexuality really interesting, and have one particular friend I enjoy talking about sex with where the conversation gets very philosophical.
"I grew up in a household where sex was never discussed and I think it’s important to break the stigma. I like to engage with curious people and have been able to dismantle a few stereotypes along the way."
Maddie, 27
Relationship status: In a relationship.
"I'm an open book about pretty much every detail in my life and nothing is off limits. I'm pretty open about my sex life with my friends and people I feel close to, however I can usually tell if someone feels uncomfortable and if that's the case, I'll censor the story.
"As a person who's in a long-term relationship, I think it's also important that you only share with people what your partner is also comfortable sharing. My partner is a woman and because we've been together for a while we also share similar friends, so I never want to make her uncomfortable with any story that I'm telling.
"I also secretly love it when people ask me about having sex with a girl, although it can feel a little: 'welcome to my ted talk,' for anyone on the receiving end."
Lucy, 25
Relationship status: In a relationship.
"As much as I share pretty much everything, lol, my motto is always: Specific, not explicit. I can't remember who said that first, but it has stuck with me.
"I won't ever name names unless it's a very close friend. And if it's on the pod (Mamamia's The Undone) I change names and some identifying details."
Listen to Lucy on The Undone right here. Post continues below.
"It hasn't changed since I got in a relationship. If I remember funny stories about casual sex encounters etc. I'll share them with my boyfriend. Again, specific and not explicit! No need for gory or uncomfortable level of detail, more just the gist of the story.
"I'll talk about our sex life with friends, but not anything I would feel uncomfortable telling him that I'd told them. I usually tell him 'I told Taylor that we tried _____'.
"I respect his privacy and would expect that he respect mine as well when it came to anything more intimate, but topline details = totally fine."
Sarah, 23
Relationship status: In a relationship.
"I think it depends on who you're talking to and who you're sleeping with.
"Personally, my girlfriends and I used to share that kinda stuff all the time and I know they still do, but for me, having been with someone for five years I just don't anymore.
"I'm not sure if I've turned into a prude, but that's something I like to keep private now that I've gotten older and been in a committed relationship for so long."
Are you comfortable talking about sex? Let us know in the comments!
Feature Image: Getty.
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