'"Do you ever yearn for the baby?" And other questions I was asked as a surrogate.'

Being a surrogate had never even crossed my mind.

It was something that seemed completely removed from my life; the kind of thing that only happened for the Kim Kardashians and Nicole Kidmans of the world. 

I’d never known anyone to do it, nor had it been the route anyone in my inner circle had taken.

That is, until some loved ones disclosed that surrogacy was the only way they could become parents.

I won’t go into the nitty, gritty details of why, because that’s their story, not mine. But I will say it came as a complete shock because falling pregnant had come very easily to me and my husband, and other members of the family, too.

Watch: No Filter: Shannon Garner's Labour of Love. Story continues below.

These people we loved so much, and who were born to be parents, were robbed of the right to do it on their own terms, while their family members and friends were populating at a rapid rate.

To make matters worse, there’s no surrogacy registry in Australia. You quite literally have to join private Facebook groups and sell yourself as a prospective mum or dad until a random puts their hand up to play the part of incubator. (I could go on for hours about this, so perhaps that’s a story for another day.)

We ended up diving into the process head-first – and the entire journey from start to finish was incredible.

The team at Surrogacy Australia were brilliant, as was the IVF journey. And then there was the group of midwives who cared for me, my husband and the parents-to-be – they went above and beyond. Even the counselling sessions were fantastic. I learnt so much about myself and my marriage, which never would have happened if we didn’t join the surrogacy bandwagon.

I would even go as far as to say it was FUN, and that’s big coming from someone who actually hates being pregnant. I’m my worst self when knocked up – at least, I was when carrying my own kids.

The only time we were struck by the enormity of it all was when friends – and even a few randoms – heard the news. To say we were inundated with questions was an understatement. Here are just a few of the bizarre and kind of insensitive ones.

'So, you and *expectant dad* had sex?'

You’d be shocked to learn how many educated people threw this one at me – all blokes, who I had assumed knew about a little thing called IVF, but apparently not?! 

'Won't it be hard handing over your baby?' 

A babysitter asked me this during the third trimester. Firstly, it wasn’t my baby. The embryo belonged to Mum and Dad, and I was just an oven. By the later months of the pregnancy, I was also ready for that baby to make its exit so I could return to business as usual.

'How could you... do that?'

During the nine months I carried their child, and for many that followed, this was the question posed most frequently. But for me, becoming a surrogate for these important people in our lives was a no-brainer. Confronted with the news that our loved ones couldn't carry their own children, we were the first to put up our hands up, and I truly think many others would do the same. I’d never look down on anyone who didn’t, of course, but I do believe everyone has it in them.

'Isn't it tough on your kids?'

At the time we did the embryo transfer, I had three kids under the age of four. It sounds a bit mad now, looking back on it, but I had my three children in very quick succession and it was the only way I knew how.

Our kids loved being part of the journey. And the best part? They know that loving families are made in many different ways. They think it’s the norm, which is beautiful.

'Will you post breast milk?'

That was a hard no for me. Formula all the way!

Listen to No Filter, In this episode, Mia had so many questions about surrogacy and Shannon was gracious enough to answer them all. Post continues below.

'Do you ever yearn for the baby?'

Nope. I knew from day dot that this gorgeous baby girl wasn’t my own. It might sound a bit ordinary, but I had no maternal feelings towards her. Even now, when I see photos of her, I completely forget that I even carried her.

I can only describe it as a blur, like it didn’t happen in this life. She also knew exactly who her parents were from the second she popped out. From the moment that screaming bub was handed to her mum, she settled, and a sense of calm came over the room. 

My husband admits watching that birth was even more special than witnessing our own three children come into the world, and I wholeheartedly agree.   

Our loved ones were exactly who they were meant to be – a doting mum and dad – and nothing in this world could top that.

Feature Image: Getty