'My husband convinced me to move overseas. Just weeks later, I discovered why.'

As told to Ann DeGrey

Dave* and I were high school sweethearts, and our friends all envied our love story. We married young and soon realised we couldn't have children. So for a long time ago, we decided that we'd live life to its full for the two of us, and dream very big. One of those dreams was to live in France.

We fell in love with the country and its beauty during a holiday a few years ago — especially the countryside. We also loved many of the chateaus that were for sale, knowing we'd have to put a huge amount of money and work into renovation. We promised each other that one day we'd leave Melbourne behind and find our own slice of paradise in the French countryside.

For years, we saved and planned, turning our dream of moving to France into a goal. It wasn't just about the chateau; it was about building a new life together. When we finally found the perfect chateau, it felt incredible—we'd finally done what we said we'd do. It was very old and needed a lot of work, but to us, it was perfect. The idea of renovating it together was a huge challenge, but I was sure it would bring us closer together as we'd gone through some rocky times.

But things didn't turn out the way I imagined. We arrived in France six months ago, full of hope. I was ready to roll up my sleeves and get to work, but that's when things started to change.

Watch: Clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula shares the signs someone may have experienced betrayal trauma. Post continues after video.

Dave was enthusiastic at first. But it wasn't long before he wanted to return to Melbourne for work—just for a week or two, he said. I understood; after all, we still had responsibilities back home, and a project like this wasn't going to pay for itself.

I kept busy with the local contractors, learning about the French way of doing things and picking out paint colours. Two weeks went by and Dave kept coming up with excuses to stay in Melbourne, even though he promised he'd be back soon.

But then, I started hearing whispers from friends back home. They said they had seen him around Melbourne, not alone, but with a younger woman. At first, I refused to believe it. It couldn't be true; he'd never do that to me. And it was Dave who really pushed for the chateau—it was his dream too. One friend mentioned seeing him at a local café, laughing and leaning in close to a young woman. The stories kept coming, each one harder to ignore. I light-heartedly confronted Dave over the phone but he said I was being silly listening to the gossip of bored housewives.

He managed to explain the identity of the young woman, saying he was catching up with the daughter of a former client as he was giving her financial advice. I thought that sounded feasible, so I dropped it.

But then a very close friend of mine called and said she saw Dave at a bar, with his arm around a much younger woman, acting far too familiar. "She kept kissing him on the cheek and even though I didn't see him kiss her back, they were very much like a couple," my friend said. 

I called Dave—who by that time had been gone for nearly a month—and instead of denying he was having an affair, he told me he'd be in France "soon" and we could talk about these allegations in person.

Listen to Sealed Section where Chantelle answers three anonymous questions from listeners, who are cheating, or being cheated on. Post continues after podcast.

He did eventually return to France, but didn't engage in my efforts to discuss the "other woman" aside from telling me it was "nonsense". But he did tell me that he wanted to juggle his life in Melbourne with our new life in France and spend six months in one country, and six in the other. That was not the plan! But, my hands were tied. I can't force him to move to France permanently. So now I'm in the chateau, feeling isolated and alone, while he's preparing to return to Melbourne. I feel like a fool as I realise he might have used the dream of the chateau to keep me here, far away, while he did whatever he pleased back home.

I love the chateau but there's a lot of work to do and I uprooted my entire life, and left my family and friends behind, all for a man who might never have intended to share this life with me.

I've tried to keep myself busy, focusing on the renovations, hoping that maybe he will come back, that maybe I've misunderstood everything. I don't know what my next step is. I came here to start a new life with him, but now I must decide if I can even stay. The chateau now feels like a symbol of betrayal.

I thought moving here would be the beginning of our happily ever after, but now I see it might have been the end of everything I thought we had.

Read more of our stories about cheating and infidelity:

• 'I suspected my husband of cheating, so I followed him. He didn't go where I thought he would.'
• 'Women pay me to catch their partners cheating red-handed.'
• 'I suspected my boyfriend was cheating. Then I found him in an online group exposing his double life.'

Feature image: Getty.