Mamamia’s Tried and Tested series is your review of the latest to hit our desks in beauty, health and wellbeing. You won’t find any #sponsored content here, just honest, relatable and independent advice. This week, Mamamia's Beauty Editor trials the 'haemorrhoid cream' technique.
Okay but... can it? Because people on the internet said it could? And now I've agreed to put it on my face and write an entire article on it.
While there's been claims floating around for quite some time about haemorrhoid cream's ability to smooth and tighten the skin on your face (Kim Kardashian's longtime makeup artist Mario Dedivanovic notably said he uses it on her under eye wrinkles), there's not too much evidence out there to support that it can actually prevent wrinkles.
But can it provide a temporary effect?
Watch: Speaking of things I've put on my face, I tried the lube makeup trick. And the results kinda surprised me. Post continues below.
Well, I recently came across this post by a TikToker named Mrs. Clay — and look, the results had me sold.
In the clip, she told her followers, "The other day my aunt told me that she uses hemorrhoid cream before she puts on her makeup when she's going to an event or something and it helps with her wrinkles."
"So I was like, no way am I putting that on my face," she said, holding up a tube of hemorrhoid cream.
"Here's what's happening. I have five minutes from Dollar General to my house, so I'm going to put this on before I leave the parking lot. So, starting now until we get home, we're going to see if this actually works on my skin."
And you guys, it... worked.
"When I try to raise my eyebrows... is this temporary Botox? Y'all this is immaculate."
"I'm just so baffled at these results — like, look how flawless that looks up there," she said, referring to her smooth forehead. "Consider me influenced."
No. Consider ME influenced.
@mrs.clay HOW???? #temporarybotox #botoxalternative #botox ♬ original sound - mrs.clay
Honestly, it looks good. You gotta admit — her forehead looks injectable-worthy frozen. And look, if there's one thing I really hate, it's my makeup piling in the wrinkles on my forehead and around my crow's feet.
So, in the name of... science... I decided to give it a go for myself. Here's what happened when I tried the hemorrhoid cream hack.
Hold up. What exactly is hemorrhoid cream?
For the uninitiated, hemorrhoid cream is a topical medication used to treat... hemorrhoids, which are basically swollen veins in your bum that can be painful, itchy and can sometimes bleed.
If it sounds uncomfy that's because it probably is. But that's where hemorrhoid cream comes in!
The theory is that because hemorrhoid creams can help soothe discomfort and shrink the blood vessels around the ol' rectum, the same tightening effect may be able to work on other parts of your skin too.
Hemorrhoid creams usually contain an ingredient called hydrocortisone, which is used to decrease swelling, itching and pain. So it sounds like it would make a lot of sense!
How did you go with it?
Okay. I didn't have any hemorrhoid cream handy, so I picked some up at the chemist. It sounds like a simple task, but I was literally paralysed with choice — there were a lot of impressive anus puns and just enough small pictures of bums. Which to go for!
It also looked like everything was marketed as an 'ointment' rather than a cream, so I ended up picking one that features a "triple action" pain relief, inflammation relief and itching relief for "haemorrhoids and anal fissures (tears)" because I thought that sounded a wee bit fancy. Also, it was one of the ones with a bum on it.
I trialled the ointment across the course of two days, in the morning before makeup. Instead of just the forehead, I applied it to my entire face, because I cannot and will not be controlled.
The formula didn't have any fragrance (which was surprising? All the TikTok's say these creams smell really bad?) and had a kind of clear, gel texture. It felt similar to a primer and was pretty lightweight on the skin and dried down really quickly. Delightful!
I was on camera for the You Beauty podcast on one of the days I decided to do this, and had eleven million meetings and an event on the other day I tried it, which was ultimately a weird choice.
Here's what my forehead looked like before (left) and five to 10 minutes after (right) using it:
Umm...
And then with makeup:
Are the results in the room with us?
Look, with makeup on the ointment somehow made my wrinkles looked... worse?
Coolcoolcool.
Like it played surprisingly well under makeup (no piling) but for some reason everything looked a little more hectic instead of tighter, smoother and better.
The verdict.
Did I just wear bum cream on my face for two days for no reason? Yes. Am I a little bit ashamed of myself? Also, yes.
Look, I had really high hopes for this trial, and I was honestly really expecting it to work. Like, really bloody well. And to come into the office bragging to everyone about my "secret weapon" for tight skin. And whipping out a cream with a drawing of a bum on it.
Sigh.
Look, I have a sneaky suspicion the hemorrhoid cream market in America is laced with a whole heap of more intense ingredients — because the Australian formulas clearly don't cut it when it comes to tightening and smoothing wrinkles.
Sad! At least I got a hemorrhoid ointment out of it, though?
Also, my sister in travelling to the US in a couple of weeks, so I might send her on a sightseeing tour down the hemorrhoid aisle. Until then, I'll be sticking to my retinol.
So, have you ever tried hemorrhoid cream on your face? Did it work for you? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.
Feature image: Supplied.
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