Would you believe something *else* has gone wrong for Meghan Markle and her very special jam?

There's been yet another holdup in Meghan's American Riviera Orchard business and at this point we're not even that surprised?? Because it's kind of starting to feel, IDK, doomed?

The US Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) has not only advised the royal that she is not allowed to trademark the term 'American Riviera', as it refers to a geographic location, but also taken issue with the brand's logo.

In particular, the letter 'O'.

As in, 'oh' dear.

The logo in question. Image: Instagram/@americanrivieraorchard

A document from the USPTO claimed that the letter O in the logo is so "highly stylised that it is unrecognisable as a letter" and, okay, they're not wrong. They also said that the "description is incomplete because it does not describe all the elements in the mark". Which is, apparently, a pretty big deal when you're creating logos. Who knew?

Basically, what it boils down to is that the proposed logo and description are *checks notes*… inaccurate? Because they don't quite match up, according to the document.

And look, in terms of consequences, it's not all that dire — Markle will just have to send in an amended description of the logo that is, um, better than the last one. But still, what a pain for the would-be jamfluencer, right?

But the bad news doesn't end there. USPTO also claimed that some of the descriptions of goods Markle plans to market other than jam are "too broad," citing bath soap, cocktail napkins, pans, cooking utensils, and more.

The latest updates follows claims made by the tabloid Closer that the launch had been delayed because Meghan's lifestyle brand had spiralled into disarray, after staff quit and she couldn't find a CEO.

"The numbers don't lie and to have almost 20 members of staff quitting on them tells its own story," a source told Closer. "It's unprecedented, even for a startup."

Lol. That's a bold claim but we move on!

The source went on to make some disparaging (and not entirely relevant) comments about the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

"The brutal reality is Harry and Meghan are the toughest of taskmasters, they're very demanding and difficult to work for and that puts a lot of people's backs up," the insider claimed.

Following this report, a response came in the form of a PEOPLE article, which featured a source 'debunking' the claims.

The source dismissed the claim that Meghan had struggled to find a CEO for her brand, adding that the Duchess of Sussex "is excited about her latest, personal venture."

"This is something she’s been wanting to do for a while. She is excited to share her style and things that she loves."

Megan released her first jam batch (a strawberry flavour) earlier this year — although she only sent that drop of 50 spreads to celebrities. In June, the Duchess of Sussex released a new flavour of jam: this time raspberry.

Yummo! Right? I can't wait to try this ex-royal's raspberry spread. The jam industry is shaking.

Well… we have bad news. She only made a handful of jars.

One of the jars was sent to Prince Harry's mate Nacho Figueras, who shared Meghan's PR package on his socials, which included some exclusive dog biscuits... which sounds like a weird thing to dip in jam tbh.

You do you, Nacho. Image: Instagram/@nachofigueras.

However, written on the outside of American Riviera Orchard’s jar of raspberry jam was marked '2 of 2', which suggests this was an especially limited drop.

Meghan, what kind of sales strategy is this, only making two jars of a new product? Make it make sense.

So what does this jam taste like? Well, a review has just dropped. Nacho Figueras has given his stamp of approval, although he is besties with both Meghan and Prince Harry so he's not exactly an objective reviewer.

"Did I tell you I love your jam?” he captioned an image of Meghan’s strawberry batch on Instagram. Figueras's wife, Delfina Blaquier, also shared positive sentiments about the jam.

But what about the rest of us, Meghan? What is happening? What about us lowly people who want to eat the Duchess' jam??

This confusion follows Meghan Markle and the royals getting into a bit of a jam back in April. Or shall we say a jam-off (I could go all day). That's one family jam versus another in the ultimate royal rumble.

Okay, let's go to the start of this saga.

Meghan Markle's jam saga, explained.

In April, Markle announced that her new lifestyle brand American Riviera Orchard (yes, I had to Google that) was releasing its first range of items: a line of fresh strawberry jam. Lovely. Nothing to see here. Jam on, Duchess.

BUT! A few days later, Buckingham Palace's Shop posted a video on Instagram to promote THEIR OWN line of strawberry preserve.

This is berry shady, no?

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Buckingham Palace Shop (@buckinghampalaceshop)

The timing of the video was taken as a clear attack on the Duchess and her jam.

I don't think she was ready for this jelly...

"Is it just me that loves the subtle shade?" wrote one commenter on Instagram.

"Why buy an imposter when you can have the real royal strawberry jam!" wrote another.

So how do these jams compare?

This is the royal jam. It comes in a simple jar.

To be honest, this isn't quite what I'd expect the royals to be reppin', as it looks like any old mass-produced spread that you'd find forgotten in the back corner of your fridge, plus the jam itself doesn't look particularly gourmet.

Image: Highgrove.

Now, this is Meghan Markle's jam, which she has delivered to a limited number of celebrities.

The American Riviera Orchard's jam looks FANCY. It has an adorable little hat on it, so you know it's better than you. And the label looks expensive, even if it does appear like it's already peeling off on the right side (I won't tell, Megz).

Image: Instagram.

The Duchess of Sussex sent out 50 pots of the American Riviera Orchard preserve and the recipients included Kris Jenner, Tracee Ellis Ross, and Mindy Kaling.

Each pot was labelled with a number and for those playing at home: the Kardashian fam got 13.

Image: Instagram/@krisjenner.

While not all 50 recipients have posted their wares, New York Post speculated that Oprah Winfrey, Ellen Degeneres and Serena Williams were all gifted a jar too.

The jam is just one part of Markle's American Riviera Orchard lifestyle brand, which was launched in March.

The brand was initially mocked as sounding a little too pretentious, and I will admit that I once referred to it as Oak Tree Renaissance because it had a similar boujee word salad vibe.

But the name is a nod to Markle and Prince Harry's new home in Santa Barbara, California, which is nicknamed the 'American Riviera' apparently.

Mystery still surrounds exactly what the brand will make as ARO's website is still blank and only offers visitors the chance to sign up to its mailing list. Based on a trademark application, the brand will sell makeup, haircare, fragrances, skincare, tableware, kitchen linens, and edible treats such as jams and spreads.

The jam line is the first confirmed product from the brand, but the timing of the launch left a sour taste in some people's mouths.

You know what would help that? Some sweet, strawberry jam.

'Just take a little jam, I won't mind...' Image: Getty.

But I digress, Markle announced the jam line the same month that Kate Middleton confirmed she was receiving treatment for cancer, after a period of taking a break from royal duties.

This followed King Charles' confirmation in February that he had been diagnosed with an undisclosed type of cancer.

In Meghan Markle's defence, it's rare that she does anything right in her critics' eyes.

Considering she's been estranged from the royal family for years, it seemed like a big ask for her to pause her brand rollout (which had likely been in the works for months) because of her husband's family health.

Markle has a long and bitter history with the royal family, with rumours of a feud between herself and Middleton, and accusations of her being rude to staff all leading up to herself and Prince Harry deciding to step down from senior royal duties in 2020.

In the years since, the couple hasn't been shy about their negative experiences with The Firm, revealing disturbing claims about their royal wedding and the birth of their first son Archie, which was outlaid in an Oprah interview, Netflix special and Harry's memoir, Spare.

The jam war was probably another return serve from the royals, who show no sign of calling a ceasefire between the feuding families — look no further than the royal website literally writing the Sussexes out of their history.

But hey, if the royals can't spread the love, they can at least spread some jam.

Feature image: Getty/Instagram

This article was originally published on April 29, 2024 and has since been updated with new information.