It was the moment we’ve all been waiting for.
(If you were watching the Logies, that is).
Comedian and Hard Quiz host Tom Gleeson – whose anti-Logies campaign and general trouble making has been rubbing precisely everyone the wrong way of late – delivered his opening monologue at the Logies.
We were expecting it to be savage, and, well, it delivered.
From swipes at MAFS, Karl Stefanovic and even the innocent cast of Home and Away (hey!), not a single person in the room was safe and this is exactly what we came for.
Here, we dissect the five best/most cringeworthy moments from his much-anticipated (and probably feared) speech.
For someone who “hates” the Logies, he sure did seem to enjoy himself…
1. Opening line
He opened with both a self-deprecating remark and a targeted hit at the very network airing the awards ceremony; Channel 9.
Brave.
“Hi. Welcome to the last ever TV Week Logie Awards,” he began. “I’ve wrecked it. I’m oh, so, sorry. When I first got asked to do the opening I thought, ‘Great, well clearly I haven’t won.’
“I think the reason they ask you to do the opening is because Channel 9 has run out of stars,” he said.
Yeesh.
2. Attacking every single network
Oh, and he didn’t just stop at Channel 9.
Describing Australian television as “one big party” he gave the following analogy:
“ABC are like the old neighbours who complain about the noise, Channel 7 are the sensible family that never gets invited to parties, Channel 10 is like the younger people who make a lot of noise even though no one’s listening and Channel 9’s like the divorced dad who hosts the party and spends the whole night trying to root SBS.”
I mean…
3. Ripping into MAFS
Well, this was really just a public service. It had to happen at some point in the evening.
Congratulating the cast for their mammoth ratings, he asked the MAFS table to make themselves known.
They… didn’t, we assume out of fear, prompting him to say:
“Sing out! Where are you? You’re supposed to be proud of yourselves… well you should be ashamed.”
Before adding: “They’ve put the bogans at the back, well done.”
4. Burning Karl Stefanovic
Karl Stefanovic's wedding, to be precise.
Yep. He went there.
"Channel 9 were happy to cash in on [MAFS'] ratings by showing off your tacky weddings - and then fired Karl Stefanovic for having one."
Good God.
5. Bullying the Home and Away table
The poor souls of Summer Bay didn't see it coming.
When one of his jokes was struggling to take off, he leveled the following dig at the cast:
"I feel like I'm losing a few of the young people at the Home and Away table... few blank faces there."
But before slinking off stage - having caused more than a few red-faces in the room, he added:
"Israel Folau sent me a message. He wants me to let you know you're all going to hell.
Doesn't worry me though. I know what hell is: Having to watch a Wallabies game."
Oh, Tom.
Want more Logies content? Read more below:
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- An uncomfortable history of the international guests who have awkwardly attended the Logies.
- The 10 best Logies prep pics that are better than anything you'll see on the red carpet.
- EXCLUSIVE: Rebecca Harding's Logies diary shows what it really takes to get red carpet ready.