Before I had my daughter Nia, there was one constant thing we were told by friends who had already had kids: "Enjoy this time, because you will never ever get it back."
Now, three-and-a-half years later, I was having a chat to a friend who is currently trying to get pregnant with her first child. We were on the topic of what life is like Before Child (let's call that era BC) versus what it's like After Child (AC, then).
Being a mum is the greatest privilege, so I feel like even though my life is so different, to some degree, things are very much the same. Once you have a child, you can still enjoy these moments, but there's no denying that some things were just easier when there were just two.
That's where the idea of a 'pre-baby bucket list' comes from – all those wonderful things that you take for granted before you're juggling a little human in the mix. From my experience, these are the essentials for your 'pre-baby bucket list' (and remember, you can STILL do these things AC – just with a little more planning, patience and effort).
1. The 'quick trip' to the supermarket.
Before Child, we would do our weekly shop in under 30 mins. Now, AC, we find ourselves still there over an hour later most times, with half the things we need, and more things that we don’t need!
Just last week, Nia and I ran in to grab some bread, bananas and avocados for brekkie (which are conveniently located right next to each other). We instead spent close to 15 minutes in the stationery aisle deciding between which colouring pencils she wanted to add to her collection, and she also said she’s not feeling "the vibe" of bananas that day and put pineapple into the basket. She also made a new friend while pondering in the sparkling water aisle and was so happy with herself. Thirty-five minutes later, we were at the self check-out, and she was being the ‘leader’ and scanning the goods.
Gosh, so much fun, but not very efficient at all. No bread or avos – because I forgot all about those, didn’t I?
2. Spontaneous last-minute adventures.
What my husband and I love more than anything is spontaneity. It keeps us both alive, and also adds a bit of spark to our relationship. After being together for 14 years, it’s definitely something that increases excitement and intensity in our relationship and keeps us on our toes.
Before Nia, we would book last-minute getaways the morning of, and be in the car the next hour. Three-hour winery long lunches, degustation dinners with matching wines, picnics in the park - you name it. You can absolutely continue to be this amazing (and hell yes, we try), but with nap/sleep routines, toilet training and meal times – it's a little less sexy.
Sleep as much as you can! I miss those spontaneous sleeps on the couch and my five-hour ‘naps’ on a Sunday. Yes, you can absolutely nap after you have a child, but the reality is it takes more planning, and five hours in the daytime just won't happen with an energetic kid running around. Neil and I alternate sleeping in on the weekends so that we both get a lie-in, and on some weekends, she jumps into our bed, and we all have an extra sleep together.
4. Bingeing an entire TV show in 24 hours.
I remember our regular movie/TV days that turned into mornings – binge-watching a whole TV series in a 24-hour period! Those late nights watching Suits and anticipating how Harvey Specter would save yet another day... then finally going to sleep and not waking up till it was past 2pm on a Sunday, and casually rolling out of bed and jumping into an Uber headed for a long and lazy Sunday lunch. After having a baby, you're watching a lot less Suits and a lot more Bluey.
5. Actually being able to exercise and eat whenever you want.
I loved being able to go for a run whenever I wanted or a long walk around Melbourne's The Tan running route in a moment’s notice. Sometimes as a mum, you forget all about you and purely focus on the health and happiness of your little one – so you need to remind yourself to do things that used to be second nature. Like remembering to eat lunch or taking your vitamins!
Before I had Nia, I started taking Elevit Pre-conception and Pregnancy Multivitamins one month prior to conceiving, to help prep my body for pregnancy and meet the increased nutritional needs to support a growing baby. They contain the recommended daily intake of folic acid, iron and iodine, so it was one of those things that helped me feel in control of my own health, and my future baby's health. If you can do two things at once, you're already on the right track to nailing this whole parenting thing (yes, multitasking will be essential to your new life).
6. Simple, quiet, uninterrupted alone time with your partner.
Time is something we all wish we had more of, and once you have a child, you will realise even more that there is seriously not enough time in the day. Sometimes not even enough time to factor in your partner! The idea of just holding hands on the couch and sitting in silence, and being so close to each other physically was definitely something I took for granted when it was just Neil and I. We’re still quite affectionate - we just have to make sure Nia's asleep.
7. Epic, Bachelor-style date nights.
One thing we crave and absolute miss is our regular date nights. Both our families live in Sydney, we live in Melbourne, and the ‘drop the kids off at nanna’s’ is something we unfortunately don’t have the luxury of doing. We wait for when our families come to Melbourne to have our date nights, and even then, a part of us feels a bit guilty for ‘dumping’ Nia with our parents when they’ve come all this way to hang out with us.
So, if you're asking for a friend, that's what a 'pre-baby bucket list' looks like.
But, always remember, life with a child may change in a lot of ways, but you can absolutely carve out a new kind of bucket list once you've got a third member of the family.
And that's the kind of bucket list that lasts your child's whole lifetime.
What else would you add to the pre-baby bucket list?
*Elevit Pregnancy Multivitamins: Always read the label. Follow the directions for use. Vitamin supplements are not a substitute for a balanced diet.
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Always read the label. Follow the directions for use. Dietary supplements are not a substitute for a balanced diet.
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