'The 6 things I’ll be changing as a second-time mum.'

It’s wild how quickly you forget those early days as a mother. 

Suddenly you’re standing at your child’s first birthday, wondering how it could have been a full year since you were lying in that hospital bed, staring down at the tiny creature responsible for kneeing you in the ribcage for all those months.

We meticulously track their milestones, documenting the moments they took all their 'firsts' and feeling like they’ll stay forever stained on our swollen hearts. But now that my son is three, I can’t for the life of me remember when he first started saying "Mumma" or at what age we moved him from his bassinet to a cot. 

It’s all a beautiful blur, even the tough stuff, because most of the time now, it feels like I was born yesterday, a mother to a beautiful three-year-old maniac learning everything there is about this hilarious and exhausting phase.

Of course, memories start creeping back as soon as you entertain the idea of going through it all again. Conversations with my husband often revolve around what we would do differently the next time — we’ve even written a lengthy list of the things that scare each of us, the things we need to make it work and the things we’re most looking forward to.

So here’s what I plan to change the second time around…

1. Forget about the once-a-week shop.

I’ve tried, okay? I’ve really tried. I’ve tried to just go to the grocery store each Sunday, armed with a detailed list including a breakdown of ingredients for all of our meals that week. But it just never works out. I end up spending a mint on that shop when I could have just run to IGA. 

This is only going to get harder when we throw another human into the mix, so I’ve resolved to embrace my chaotic shopping energy and just get what we need in smaller, more manageable bursts. 

My local IGA makes this a no-brainer — the produce is fresher, the prices are competitive, I get a park right out the front, it’s convenient and they have literally everything you need, especially when it comes to new mum supplies.

Their BabyBoo brand, which is only stocked at IGA, is my go-to for affordable, gentle baby wipes and now they’re adding nappies and nappy pants to their offering, which is perfect timing if you ask me. 

Image: Supplied.

2. Go to sleep school if we’re struggling.

One of the reasons we’ve waited until now to make plans for baby number two is how much of a battle sleep has been for us with our first. I have autoimmune diseases, so chronic sleep deprivation can be a pretty big deal for my health and we’ve agreed that if our second little cherub shares their brother’s penchant for all-night raves, we’ll pack our bags and head to sleep school before things go south.

But who knows, maybe we’ll be blessed with a little sleep star the second time and we won’t need to worry… (bless my optimism).

3. Rely more on the bottle.

Image: Supplied. 

Now, my body can be very uncooperative at times, but one thing it did a beautiful job of was breastfeeding. I enjoyed it so much and felt really lucky to be able to feed with relative ease. But I’m realistic about how different it will be the second time, knowing I won’t have that dedicated time alone with bub for every feed.

The second time, we plan to introduce the odd bottle feed early on so that I can have the flexibility of not being the only person who can feed. This should also help with my husband taking the lead on some of the night feeding so I can optimise sleep.

4. Savour the newborn phase.

Two is very much our max when it comes to growing our family and now that I’ve been there before, I know just how fleeting the newborn months are. Knowing we’ll be doing everything for the last time in those early stages will be bittersweet, but it will only make those early days more precious.

So many friends have told me they hadn’t realised how 'easy' newborns are until they had their second baby. One of them said recently, "I wish I worried less the first time around and took the baby out more; all they do is sleep!" Ah, the wonders of hindsight (and in this case, a direct comparison to their absolutely wild two-year-old).

5. Chill out about 'milestones'.

Image: Supplied. 

The words 'milestone', 'regression' and 'leap' were so commonplace in my house the first time around, and I have to say, I look back and wonder what all the fuss was about. Of course, it’s important to check in with the maternal and child health nurses about where your little one is at, but sometimes it feels like you’re worrying just for the sake of worrying.

I remember my friend saying, "He’s sleeping well now, but I know that eight-month regression is going to hit any minute," and nothing happened! That kid still sleeps like a pro. Similarly, I got into a tizzy about why my son wasn’t giggling yet and I remember the nurse finally telling me, "He is giggling, that was a giggle," and I wondered why I had spent any time stressing about it.

6. Forget perfection, and be a 'good enough' parent.

For my second parenting rodeo, I'm choosing 'good enough' over perfect and ironically, it could end up making me the best mother I can be. 

The 'good enough mother' was a concept introduced back in the '50s by paediatrician and psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott and it makes a whole lot of sense in the over-saturated parenting advice vortex we’re currently swirling in.

Trying to be a perfect parent is essentially signing yourself up to fail because there’s absolutely no such thing. Perfectionism and the resulting anxiety and self-criticism can be more detrimental than making mistakes and moving on with ease or allowing your child to feel frustrated with you at times.

My overall goal the second time around is to turn the pressure way down, enjoy the ride and remember just how short these little kid years are in the grand scheme of our big beautiful lives.

Shop BabyBoo Nappy Pants, Nappies and Baby Wipes only at IGA.

Feature Image: Supplied.