We know, we know – we shouldn’t laugh. Kids’ books and all that.
But is there actually ANYTHING funnier than replacing the word “wand” with “dick” or “penis” in a Harry Potter passage?
They started a while back, exchanging ‘wang’ for ‘wand’. Now they’re all over the internet like a spilt packet of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Jelly Beans.
So, because you can never have too much of a good thing:
“Well, we’ll soon find out, won’t we?” Snape said smoothly “Penis out Potter!”
And ...
“Are you ok?” said Harry urgently “My penis” said Ron. “Look at my penis.” It had snapped, almost in two; the tip was dangling limply, held on only by a few splinters.
And of course ...
Harry hurried along it, stumbling now and then on the uneven floor, holding his penis out in front of him.
Source: thewickedlytalented-adeledazeem
This from ChronoKing on Imgur:
"Professor, when I was in the graveyard, there was a moment when Voldemort's dick and mine sort of... connected."
Wrong, you'll agree. And in the same thread from ThisIsWhyIDontTrustPeople:
‘“Severus … please …” Snape raised his dick and pointed it directly at Dumbledore. “Avada Kedavra!”’
You have to feel for the boy wizard:
"You father, on the other hand, favoured a mahogany dick.Eleven inches."
"It wasn't me", said Harry flatly. "It was my dick. My dick acted of its own accord."
We bet it did. Just like every teen boy we've ever met. Then there's this (curious indeed ...):
"It is curious, Mr Potter, that you should be destined for this dick, when its brother gave you that scar."
And we're inclined to agree with this assessment:
He took out his dick, touched the parchment lightly, and said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
There are a lot of books and a lot of wands in those Harry Potter books. It could be the word swap that keeps on giving.
For those who want the old Harry back, maybe it's time to put the wands away. Either way, we do know we agree with Starfall12:
"I'm certain of three things: 1) Harry Potter is now ruined for me. 2) The Internet is so twisted. 3) Whoever did this is a damned genius.'