'My colleague left our company. Then I was fired for staying friends with her.'

I got fired for staying friends with another employee after she left the company. And no, that's not an exaggeration.

It all began when I was hired for what I believed to be my "dream role" off the back of working in a hostile, male-dominated workplace. I could hardly believe my luck. I'd been hired by a well-known, respected marketing company. I  felt well-equipped for my new role. It played to my strengths. And right from day one I received excellent feedback praising what I brought to the company, acknowledging what a difference my work was consistently making to their results.

This continued for some time. Bliss! During this period, I formed some really strong friendships with a few people in the office. I formed some deep friendships, fast. This created some divide and cliquey-ness amongst different factions within the office, but I was content with my group of four or five, convinced we'd be friends for life.

Unfortunately, when COVID hit, everything changed... and not in the way you might expect. While other businesses were failing, having to pivot and completely rethink their operations and offerings, my workplace saw the highest sales and engagement we'd ever experienced. The business model was designed in a way that thrived during lockdowns and times of uncertainty. But instead of taking the win, celebrating, and appreciating the hard work of the entire team, my two bosses got greedy.

Watch: Some signs of workplace bullying beyond its definition. Post continues after video.

Before long, this greed created a toxic workplace. We were ordered back into the office despite lockdown laws requiring us to stay at home, with threats our pay would be docked if we weren't present in person. Keep in mind we were not 'essential workers' by any means, and we'd all been working harder and longer hours than ever before during our brief few weeks working from home. In such a time of uncertainty and fear, we were so hesitant about returning to the office, but we did so feeling we had little choice in the matter.

It only spiralled from there. We'd be pulled in for "team meetings", which were essentially an opportunity for our CEO and owner to abuse us for "not working long enough hours", or not going "above and beyond" for the business. Again, we were still seeing consistently increasing sales. But it wasn't enough for us to work the 9-5 we were paid for (and paid very poorly I might add!), instead we were essentially expected to live and breathe the company. If we dared speak up for ourselves, we were shouted at, threatened with being fired, or sent aggressive messages from the founder about how "disappointing our behaviour was, given all the company did for us".

The toxicity began to leech into the relationships between the women in the office. Those who had worked there longest took it upon themselves to prove their dedication by bullying newer team members, tearing apart our work for the sake of it despite having no knowledge or experience in our fields of work themselves.

It was a ticking time bomb...

Before long, people started to leave, recognising nothing was going to improve anytime soon. One of my closest friends who I'd met in the job was one of the first to call it quits, no longer willing to accept the appalling treatment and manipulation she was experiencing from both our bosses.

When she left, the bosses became obsessed with the idea that she was planning to create a competitor business. They had absolutely no reason or evidence to think this, but they were convinced. They'd talk so badly about my friend's character, denigrating her as a person and painting her as a traitor for daring to leave. I refused to join in with the character assassinations, but held my tongue, understanding my job was on the line if I spoke up to defend my friend.

Then, one day this friend came to have lunch with me near the office. She was so anxious about running into anyone from the company, so we met a block or two away, and spent my lunch break catching up on each other's lives. But we were seen. One of my bosses was standing on the roof of our building, staring right at us as we walked back towards the office.

I didn't think too much of this at first... Until an hour later I received a message on LinkedIn. This message was from a girl saying she wanted to apply for a role at the company... my role, in fact. Naturally, I was very confused, and started searching LinkedIn for any job ads posted by the business. I couldn't see any, so I had another of my friends and colleagues check too. Sure enough, my exact job title and description had been posted half an hour prior - immediately after I'd been seen with my friend and ex-colleague.

Listen to Fill My Cup where Allira is joined by Julie Parker, Mentor, Coach and Councillor and she's here to shift our perspective, cause what you do for work isn't who you are. Post continues below.

I was floored. Surely that wasn't grounds to fire someone? I called in one of my bosses to discuss what I'd found. Initially, he totally gaslit me. Pretended to be unaware that an ad had been posted, and reinforced how excellent my work had always been. But it was clear I'd caught him off guard, because he soon slipped up. He started talking about the "optics" of me being seen with my friend, questioning my loyalty, stating: "When I see you hanging out with her, I ask myself where your allegiance lies."

He felt it "looked bad to the other staff," and he couldn't trust that I wasn't spilling "work secrets" to my friend. I explained how we only spoke about non-work related topics, and he insisted he couldn't be sure of that. I mentioned how I'd proven my loyalty to the company, consistently working additional unpaid hours on my days off, weekends and after hours, to which he responded, "If anyone said to me, 'Don't contact me on my days off,' I'd say, 'Don’t work here.'" His approach to work was pretty clear...

He said, "Everyone else here, their life is 100 per cent this company. And that is what this business needs." Finally, he made it abundantly clear that there was no future for me in the company, given I'd chosen to remain friends with someone who they'd invested time and effort into, and had still chosen to leave the business.

Essentially, he made me pick between the company and one of my now best friends. Except he really didn't give me a choice... Staying at a company which demanded to own and control every aspect of my life – including my friendships, and my time outside of work hours – or a friendship which endures to this day and brings me immense joy and love. He did me a favour by removing the choice and firing me - I sure know which I'd rather have in my life!

The author of this story is known to Mamamia but has chosen to remain anonymous for privacy reasons.

Feature Image: Getty.

TAKE SURVEY ➤