A little known man by the name of Kanye West once said,
She take my money when I’m in need
Yeah she’s a trifling friend indeed
Oh she’s a gold digger way over town
That digs on me
Despite the very nuanced and intricate masterpiece that is Kanye West’s ‘Gold Digger’, the concept of gold digging comes with a lot of negative connotations. As Urban Dictionary eloquently puts it, a gold digger is “a person who goes out with you fo yo money.”
The phrase is almost always used to refer to a woman, who is materialistic and seduces someone in order to gain access to their wealth.
But now there’s a new way for women to get what they want. It’s called food digging.
I was first introduced to the concept of food digging courtesy of Aziz Ansari’s Netflix series Master of None, when Ansari’s character Dev dates a food blogger who is evidently only seeing him to get free food. She orders sides. She gets a doggy bag. She has no interest in him. It’s hilarious.
I assumed being a ‘food digger’ was just a quirky idea for the show, not an actual thing people did. But recently, I was proven wrong.
It turns out that a lot of women date men for the free meal. A very close friend did it recently with an ex. She was hungry, he was lonely. They both needed to eat at some point. It was the perfect scenario.
Others have told me that going on blind dates with the intention of getting a good meal out of it isn’t uncommon. These women simply go on the date, and don’t offer to pay. Like, at all. There’s no awkwardness on their side because they know they’re never going to see the guy again. They make small talk. Ask for more table bread. Order a bottle of wine. Talk a little more. Order a significant main (none of this salad bulls**t). Crack some jokes. And eventually, take the leftovers home.
When a follow up text or phone call comes, they gently let the guy down. After all, they’re genuinely not interested.
My first reaction, of course, was “what if he just doesn’t pay?” Surely feminism has brought us far enough that a) women don’t need men to pay for their meal on a date and b) men don’t feel they need to. But apparently not. The women I’ve spoken to are adamant that the guy pays, every time. Even if these women try to feign an argument (which they’re rarely bothered to do anyway when they’re food digging), they can be assured that the guy will insist.
My heart is just so, so torn between on the one hand, wanting women to take an equal role in their relationships with men, and on the other hand, free food.
I’M KIDDING.
I’m obviously kidding.
For god’s sake, if we really wanted free food we’d just make our parents take us out for dinner.
"I just assume you guys are paying." Image via HBO.
But personally, I do think the idea of food digging is kind of clever. I see it as a round-about way of taking our power back from the #patriarchy. We get paid 17 per cent less than men, we make up only 8 per cent of the world's CEO's in Fortune 500 companies, we disproportionately do unpaid housework like cooking for everyone else, we're plagued by ridiculous standards about how we should look and how we should behave to attract a man - so, screw it. We'll just turn it all on it's head and get men to pay for our food when we're hungry.
But today, when I brought up the excellent 'food digging' phenomenon with my colleagues, a number of them passionately disagreed with my sentiment. 'How funny is food digging!' I said through laughter. 'Getting a guy to pay for your food on a date, when you have no intention of seeing them again. Hilarious, amirite?!'
One person responded, 'I don't think it's feminist at all to expect your date to pick up the entire tab. I kinda see it as totally condescending. Like I'm a person, I earn a wage I can pay for myself.'
Oh, yes, well I guess there's that. But I'm still hearing the words 'FREE FOOD' loud and clear.
While we're on the topic of food, apparently we've been eating these foods all wrong. Post continues after video...
'I can pay my own way,' said another colleague, adding 'I never, ever want my date to pay for the whole thing.'
As much as I find food digging hilarious, because at the heart of it, it's ironic - as women, we shouldn't be using men. Ever. Even if it makes us giggle. Even if it makes us smile because: food. We'd be horrified to know that a man was using us for some material gain. The solution to systematic inequality is not to create more of it, but to question it, no matter how trivial it might seem.
So yes, food is the best. And free food is SUCH a fun novelty. But if you're hungry and looking for some company, go and eat with your family or friends. And you should probably definitely split the bill.
Where do you stand when it comes to food digging?
Top Comments
Oh FFS, enough with the17% wage gap myth rubbish, it is getting really embarrassing that such a dodgy statistic, discredited by every economist alive, is used at all, let alone to justify had bloke paying for you. Pfft.
To be honest, it just sounds kind of mean. Dating a guy you have no interest in just to get free food? You'd be OK if a guy did that to you? Grow the hell up and buy your own damn food.
Couldn't have said it better myself. I have a friend who EXPECTS to be wined and dined on at least the first 4 dates with a man because "if they were that interested, they'd be willing to put their hands in their pockets", because it proves that they are a provider". I find that to be an appalling outlook on dating, and unfortunately, might be the reason why she can't get past date number 1 or 2.