Writing a list of what you want in a partner is a dating manifesto as old as time.
Sure, it might not seem very… romantic, but many people in relationships swear it’s the only way they figured out which traits they hold most important, and ended up finding exactly that in another human roaming the earth.
Like magic.
Watch: Dating translated. Post continues after video.
Plus, let’s face it – after an embarrassing amount of disappointing Tinder dates, many of us are just about ready to try anything.
Some of us might even be one more unsolicited d*ck pic away from knocking on doors around the neighbourhood and asking if they have any sons.
Today’s relationship hopeful of the internet didn’t quite go that far – but she did curate a very specific list of requirements and leave it on a hiking trail with her email address in an effort to entice fellow outdoorsy types.
Points for creativity, eh?
But while the idea itself is a little… unorthodox, giving the wonderful people of Reddit fuel enough to troll their hearts out, it’s the 26-year-old’s list of requirements, nay, demands, that had people talking.
The Melbourne resident began by saying she was over the “superficiality of dating apps” (aren’t we all) and instead wanted to try to meet someone the old-fashioned way – without drinking alcohol (…oh).
“Dating apps have never turned out well for me,” she wrote, alongside a very real and triggering list of reasons why.
“It would be refreshing to get to know someone who doesn’t need to go out and get trashed every weekend with their friends,” she continued.
The note went on to describe her dream man as being “fit, without being obsessed about it”, not a “creeper” and, the one demand people were particularly fired up about, "someone in good mental health".
"I'm not your therapist. The relationship quickly becomes unsexy," she elaborated.
Reddit users were critical of her labelling mental health as "unsexy", and were of the opinion she might struggle to find someone who would meet her exhaustive criteria:
"Wants a committed long-term relationship but also refuses to be supportive of a partner's mental health...Yeah this sounds like one toxic individual. Good on her for trying something new though!" one said.
Later on, the same user added to their original comment: "Calling poor mental health 'unsexy' is potentially the most vile commentary I've ever heard."
Another added that her list contradicted the claims she was sick of the "superficiality" of app dating: "The line about good mental health did it for me. Even to the healthiest person mental health can be an issue. Really, this is a kinda shallow list no different to anything you’d see on a dating app."
While one offered an interesting take:
"As someone with really shitty mental health, I don't have a problem with this. My attitude is 'why make life harder than it already is?' I wouldn't be with someone who isn't trying to better their life and health, particularly if they're not in a great position, and whose mental health issues were unmanaged."
"Since she doesn't have the interest or capacity to handle someone already struggling it makes sense for her to look for someone who isn't. Shrug," agreed another.
Another said:
"To play devil’s advocate, is it necessarily wrong to look for good mental health in a romantic partner? It’s a bit unsavoury to spell it out like that, in the same way that many people would be hesitant to outwardly admit they would prefer not to date someone with a physical disability. But I don’t think it’s an unreasonable thing to look for in a partner, even if I don’t like the callous way the writer has put it."
But one pointed out one massive flaw in her plan:
"She was clever in self selecting outdoorsy people, except now that it’s on Reddit she’s going to get hundreds of neckbeard dungeons and dragons applicants."
Top Comments
I wouldn't choose to be with someone with mental health problems. Sorry if thats shallow but life is hard enough as it is. If someone I already cared for was having mental health problems I would be all in helping any way I could but from the outset who would choose that?
I don’t think we should go around judging what requirements people have for a mate that will make them happy. Everyone is different and will be compatible to different people. Different strokes for different folks.