Engagements are meant to be exciting.
They’re meant to be one of, if not the most, romantic moments of your life, as you begin to plan your future with (hopefully) the love of your life.
But for many women the engagement itself is… stressful. Especially if you aren’t exactly stoked with your ring.
Recently, one woman expressed her disappointment with her engagement ring on the online forum Wedding Bee, after her boyfriend asked her what she wanted and gave her his family ring instead.
“I got engaged a couple weeks ago to my boyfriend of 10 years. I always wanted a larger caray yellow diamond ring on yellow gold. A few months ago my boyfriend asked me to send him photos of the ring styles I liked and I told him exactly what I wanted,” she wrote in the post.
“His mother called me later and told me that she always wanted a yellow diamond as well but that they don’t have a yellow diamond in the family. Apparently she wanted me to have his grandmother’s ring and he was just gonna take the diamond and change the setting,” she added.
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She explained that she really likes “blingy” looks, but that she was given the grandmother’s ring anyway.
“After they kept insisting I sent him a photo of a 2 ct diamond with a halo and pave band. I like really blingy looks. Well he finally proposed on January 3rd. The proposal wasn’t spectacular either. The ring… is his grandmother’s diamond which I didn’t want and I’m suppose [sic] to pass it down to our future children,” she wrote in the post.
The woman added that while at first she was just excited to be engaged, as time went by she began to resent the ring.
"At first I liked the ring. I was just excited to be engaged but the more days that go by the more I hate it. I don’t know what to do. I’m upset because it’s not what I always wanted and I waited so long for a proposal. Does anyone know how I can talk to him about it?" she asked.
Many reactions were far from sympathetic, labelling the bride "ungrateful" and "disrespectful".
"That’s a big blingy ring. You sound extremely ungrateful. Hate is such a strong word. That’s his grandmothers ring that you say you hate. How disrespectful," wrote one user.
"You do sound a bit ungrateful, especially bringing up your disappointment in his proposal, but I can understand not being happy with something you specifically said you didn’t want," shared another.
Others could relate to the struggle, and emphasised that just because it was the grandmother's ring, doesn't mean she has to like it.
"I can only imagine how strange it must have felt to have received a ring completely different to the style that you showed him (when he asked what you like)! It’s easy for people to say that you are being ungrateful, however we all value things differently. Some people value sentiment more than how the item actually looks, some people value how an item looks more than the sentiment behind it etc. Ignore the ignorance," wrote one user.
Here's hoping that conversation goes down smoothly.
Is it ever okay to say you don't like your engagement ring? Tell us in the comments!
Top Comments
I'm gonna go one step further. Let's just get rid of the whole diamond ring tradition - something that is extremely expensive, yet it serves no real practical purpose. I'd much rather have a mixtape with my favourite music on it. It's be far less expensive *and* it would serve a far more practical purpose. It would be a win-win for everyone involved.
I've had this discussion with a friend. She's completely sentimental and thinks no matter what you should treasure it because it's a sign of your love. I'm a bit more pragmatic, and I think if I have to wear a piece of jewellery every day for the rest of my life I would rather it be something I liked!