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Would you let your mother-in-law wear white to your wedding?

A bride-to-be has has taken a query to Reddit, and the wedding drama she's shared has many people talking. 

The point of contention? A white dress and a future mother-in-law who's either clueless... or cunning.

"I offered to go shopping with my future MIL for her outfit as she only has sons and I thought this would be a fun thing to experience together," the 26-year-old bride-to be explained, adding that she thought it would be a nice bonding experience.

Things first took a turn when the bride's future mother-in-law ditched their plans in favour of shopping with a friend. But this was just the beginning.

Watch: Marriage advice: How to handle a meddling mother-in-law. Story continues after video.

The dress code debate.

Initially, the bride-to-be remained calm.

"We had multiple conversations about what kind of outfit she would end up with, and specifically spoke about how I wasn't okay with guests wearing white or ivory, as in my eyes this is something that should be reserved for the bride," she wrote. 

Of course, this is the kind of thing that goes beyond personal preference — it's widely accepted that white is reserved for the bride at weddings, unless specified. The tradition dates back to Queen Victoria, who popularised white wedding dresses in 1840 when she married Prince Albert. Since then, the white dress has become a staple in Western wedding culture.

It's considered a major faux pas for anyone else to wear the colour, and often seen as an attempt to upstage the bride on her special day.

But as our bride soon discovered, laying down rules and having them followed are two very different things. 

The bride says her mother-in-law bombarded her with photos of colourful, appropriate dresses, each of them lovely —  and the bride responded enthusiastically, thinking they were on the same page. 

"I answered right away and we were texting the whole time," she wrote.

But...

"Yesterday evening, I checked in to see if she had been successful," the bride said.

"She then sent a photograph of the outfit she had bought, asking what I thought of it. It was not one of the photos she had already sent, and the dress is white."

To make matters worse, it wasn't just any white dress. She bought it from a store that didn't offer refunds or returns.

Red flag or innocent mistake?

"I was FURIOUS," our bride confessed. 

Now caught between a rock and a white place, the bride's fiancé agreed that his mother's actions seemed deliberately deceptive. "We agreed that the dress is lovely but that the colour is crossing a line," the bride noted.

"I haven't responded to MIL yet as I don't really know what to say. I don't want to be a 'bridezilla' but at the same time this is a boundary that I had established before she went looking for an outfit," she explained.

As you might imagine, commenters on Reddit had plenty to say, and the advice ranged from practical to downright petty.

"Your fiancé needs to ask to see the dress and then HE should tell her it's inappropriate to wear white. His mum, his issue," one user wrote.

Others suspected that the MIL's choice was intentional, with one commenter speculating, "Why do you think it was left out of the photos she sent? This was not a mistake."

Then there were those who suggested a more mischievous approach. "Remind her that guests who wear white to a wedding where the bride is in white tend to end up having red wine 'accidentally' spilled on them," one user cheekily advised.

As the big day approaches, the bride faces a dilemma: Stand firm on her dress stance, or let it slide for the sake of keeping the peace? 

Whatever she decides, one thing's certain: this wedding is certainly bound to be more colourful than your average "I do".

Feature Image: Getty.

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Top Comments

rush 3 months ago
It feels like the MIL is definitely doing it to get a rise out of the bride. Honestly, I'd probably just say "whatever" and not give her the reaction she wants. Most people know about the rule of not wearing white (or anything that looks 'bridal') to a wedding, she's the one who's going to look stupid and petty. Roll your eyes, and if anyone says anything about it, just say "yeah, I know, how weird is she!". Keeping your cool will get under her skin, and she won't be able to play the victim if you don't get mad at her.