It's time to put your detective caps on, borrow a 2007 copy of TV Week and open Wikipedia because The Masked Singer is upon us.
Get in losers, we're going guessing!
It's the most magical time of the year for reality TV fans who also consider themselves true crime buffs — it's the perfect show for couch detectives.
This bizarre format is all about following clues, dissecting riddles, and tracking down crims... who happen to usually be obscure Australian celebs we haven't thought about since Kevin Rudd was PM.
Our hostess with the mostess (outrageous suit) Osher Günsberg is back for season five, plus the 2022 judging panel have returned (the Lindsay Lohan curse is broken??) with Dave Hughes, Abbie Chatfield, Mel B, and Chrissie Swan back on board.
The clues are especially vague this year, but we've done our best trying to decipher them.
The Captain
Clues: This mask's clues revolved around sports with references to ‘big blue’, stingrays and mentions of goals.
His first clue package said:
"I’m the Captain and I’m known to enjoy the laidback lifestyle. You know, having fun is my main goal in life, but I’ve had many other goals. Of course, it’s not all plain sailing, but what’s a cruise without stormy seas?
"Some people dread the big blue, but not me because over time I made friends on the high seas… a lot of friends, like stingrays! I love stingrays. They helped me keep my dreams afloat, wot wot! Seriously, if you can’t handle the fun my way on my cruise, you need to toughen up like me! Regrets? No way! Because what happens on a tropical cruise stays on a tropical cruise, wot wot! And that’s why I sailed for warmer climbs. Fun ahoy!"
Guesses: The judges guessed Gyton Grantley, Wally Lewis, Rick Springfield and Brendan Fevola, and the last guess turned out to be correct. Ahoy, Captain Fev!
Orca
Clues: New mask alert! Orca has arrived, with a clue package featuring a pool safety sign which read “bombing allowed”, along with Olympic rings and mention of a “five-ring circus”.
Her first clue package said:
"I’m one of the big fish around here but when you look at the waters I swim in, they’re massive! Right now I’m probably not in my natural home, it’s a really big decision to break away from your pod but when you start the hunt as young as I did, it’s something you have to do.
"To an Orca, family is important… although growing up was a three-ring circus. Or was it five rings? That’s counting absolutely everybody."
Her second clue package said:
"Hello sailor! Tonight I am turning back time when fishnets were not just found in the ocean. I’m ready to make a splash!
"Orcas can be found all over the world – some migrate. You see, we even enjoy the heat! Although you can find Orcas all over the world. New Zealand, Italy, Poland… Poland?! You know, some people think Orcas are dangerous, that we have a dark side, that we leave our prey all torn, but you’ll just have to let me tell my own story."
Guesses: Olympia Valance could be this mask. The Neighbours alumni is married to a former Essendon Bombers player, Tom Bellchambers, which might explain the "bombing allowed" sign. The Olympic rings could also be hinting at the name Olympia, plus the mention of family being "important" sounds like a nod to her famous sister, Holly Valance.
Burger Gal
Clues: Another new mask! And she's come with some vague clues like a cowboy hat, a trophy and the Brooklyn Bridge.
Her first clue package said:
"Everybody loves a burger. Tasty, with an aroma you could bottle! And when it comes to fast foods, you know I’m the victorious one. I’m so proud to be a burger and I’ve witnessed some amazing things. Of course, my mother was very driven. You would know Dad if you kept up with my life or reality shows.
"Or you can ask my grandfather or nephew. For them, the burger is the royalty of food and they both have principles. Now I hear some people play with their food, but I’m nobody's toy. Well, except for that one time ha ha ha. So how do you like your burger? With a hot potato? Or like me, with ten ingredients!"
Her second clue package said:
"Get ready to take a selfie with the hottest burger in town, while I serve ya up a contemporary classic!
"People say us burgers are addictive, you just can’t say no! And my favourite burger is definitely beef. Actually, there’s a lot of cow products I like, that’s formidable and epic! Now I know you all recognise my buns, however, I was first famous for my feet. This world is where so many show their true colours. Yes, I think we can all agree a hamburger is a special love, and if you don’t think so you need to stop the madness!"
Guesses: This one is a head-scratcher, but the judges have guessed Bo Derek, Paris Hilton, Jojo Siwa, and Kyle Richards.
On episode seven, La Toya Jackson was unmasked.
Cowgirl
Clues: In Cowgirl's first teaser, the judges called her a "world-class performer" after she sang. And in an early clue, she was slatted as a "reality TV queen".
In her first clue package, Cowgirl is seen holding a framed photo of Mel B, before she sang 'Wannabe' by the Spice Girls. Clearly, there's a girl power connection.
Her first intro package said:
"The one thing everyone believes about cows is that we’re vegan - you’d think we’d leave certain foods untouched. Course, what you might not know about a Cowgirl is that we don't like staying in one place, even when young. Obviously, I’m not in the same place I was born. Do I have a favourite location? Anywhere free! You know, pro bono! There anything else you need to know about me? Only that you don’t have to come first, but it’s nice when you do!"
Her second clue package said:
"I got what I wanted during my last performance, a Spice Girl’s seal of approval, but this panel’s got to giddy up with their guesses.
"What’s it like to be a Cowgirl? It’s enjoying the things that make life spicy, but it’s not following the herd and I’m not a toy, you know? I’m not battery-powered. Well, I was once. Oh my, my, my. You know, I wouldn’t call myself a sore loser… or a sore winner! But I’m always sunny. And another thing, I’m a lover but maybe I don’t have enough gravity to succeed. Maybe I should travel abroad to be the real me."
Her third clue package said:
"Last time I put on a bloomin’ brilliant performance, the panel had a field day with their guesses. I haven’t always wanted to be a Cowgirl, in a dream I would be a doctor. From an early age a Cowgirl wants to escape. Of course life doesn’t go where you want it to. I fell about 400 meters short. Never mind, that doesn’t mean you should be agro. Okay, I’m the first to say I’m no lady, but I’m no mean girl either, it’s the other girls who were mean to me on screen. I’m just happy to be who I am, and anyone else I choose to be."
Her fourth clue package said:
"Tonight I’m heading to greener pastures. Back to my country roots… here I come again!
"Strangely, for a Cowgirl, you won’t always find me out on the range. Actually, enclosed spaces are good too. That’s not to say I stay in one spot. So many countries welcome me with open arms! But I keep returning to my favourite place and where some Hot Wheels can be found! Actually, wherever I am I feel like a queen. Overall though, life as a Cowgirl makes me feel good! Like a guy winning a singing competition!"
Her fifth clue package said:
"In the last performance I had everyone going Gaga, time to saddle up! Don’t worry, this isn’t my first rodeo.
"Now is the time for this Cowgirl to bloom. I’m not talking about dancing, I’ve always had two right feet. If you could turn back time… you’d see I’m a born entertainer. It gives me a sense of euphoria. So, is my life an act? I certainly play the part and I can act very neighbourly when called upon."
Guesses: All signs are pointing towards "reality TV queen" Courtney Act aka Shane Jenek, as fans agree that the mask's voice sounds exactly like the RuPaul's Drag Race star.
Courtney has spoken before about the influence the Spice Girls had on her, and she once performed with Mel C at Pride in New York. "In suburban Brisbane in the '90s the Spice Girls were my lifeline, they gave me permission to be myself," she wrote in the caption.
The mention of 'untouched' sounds like a nod to The Veronicas' song, and Courtney has been close to Lisa and Jess Origliasso for years. They were once in a girl group together. "We were in a group called the Yabba Dabba Doo Young Entertainers," Courtney revealed on The Project in 2018.
And then there's the "you don’t have to come first, but it’s nice when you do!" comment. Act placed runner-up on Dancing with the Stars in 2019, a year after she won Celebrity Big Brother UK.
Then in another round of clues, Cowgirl says 'I don’t have enough gravity to succeed' which sounds like a nod to Courtney losing out to Kate Miller-Heidke in the battle to represent Australia at the 2019 Eurovision Song Contest where the singer performed her song 'Zero Gravity'. Come on, producers! This one is easy peasy.
Crash Test Dummy
Clues: Crash Test Dummy was teased as a Hollywood heartthrob in early promos. In his first clue package, Crash Test Dummy is spotted driving around in bumper cars, before he says he is always “one step behind” in taking the gold.
His intro package said:
"As a Crash Test Dummy I’m used to being slammed… a lot! Of course, it could make you angry, make you burst into flames! But not me, I always manage. That’s because I’m always being watched intensely, there are cameras in every direction and when you live like I do, you can have countless lives. In my life, I’ve learned everyone wants to take the gold but from the start, I was one step behind that. But I’m close to other colours too! Let me say one last thing, a Crash Test Dummy doesn’t travel far each time but it adds up to nearly a hundred thou and I like the sound of that!"
Guesses: The judges guessed people ranging from Niall Horan to John Steffensen, but the mask turned out to be 90210 actor and Megan Fox's ex, Brian Austin Green.
Space Fairy
Clues: The first set of Space Fairy's clues said they're "the mask they're saying no one will ever guess" and "the biggest reveal yet".
In the latest clue, the mask was teased as a "global singing sensation."
Her first intro package said:
"I’m the Space Fairy! Am I from a different planet? I’m certainly from a different world. Landing in Australia, was it love at first sight? There’s no drama in that, but it’s too much having a life dissected in minute detail. Hear that? The pitter-patter of tiny feet! You can probably tell this isn’t really my space, I prefer the sun. Somewhere filled with light! There’s no shame in that. Either way, there are so many lessons to be learned on earth, and if we learn from our mistakes I’m the smartest Fairy there is! Nowadays I’m always on."
In the first episode, Space Fairy's performs Blu Cantrell's 'Hit 'Em Up Style' and they can REALLY sing, with powerful husky vocals.
Her second clue package:
"My first mission on planet Masked Singer was a success, but I don’t know what planet the panel were on with their guesses.
"In my time on Earth, I’ve learned you can’t get on with everyone, especially when you don’t ‘meet’ their expectations. Silly sausages. Some people will swallow anything when forced to, especially when the experts make the match. I guess we all have our cross to bear. Still, joy is my middle name. Of course, I’m not always happy, I’ve shed many tear drops. It’s tough living in two worlds. When you see me, do you see the real me? I don’t mind, as long as you don’t make stuff up. You can save the lies, you have no right to be wrong about me."
Her third package:
"In my last performance I lit up the stage, the panel tried to guess my name but these star gazers got lost in space and haven’t guessed me yet. Let’s see what they come up with tonight.
"Ahem, sorry just warming up my voice. You know, when I first dropped into your world I thought it would be a quick blitz in and out, but it’s quite the love affair for me. As a Space Fairy I like to sit back and watch what’s going on. I’ve also been watched a lot and that’s made my quite famous. Strangely, not in the US… that’s the reality. I really like being a Space Fairy, I really don’t think I could live any other life now. Who’s feeling spoiled? Ahem… me, me, me!"
Guesses: Gabriella Cilmi or Tones and I have similar impressive husky pipes to this performer. But out of the two, Cilmi's story lined up better with the clues.
There's one reference in particular that's a little too obvious. The mention of "love at first sight" before adding "there's no drama" could be referring to a rivalry between Cilmi and Kylie Minogue, who has a hit song titled 'Love at First Sight'. On the back of her breakout single 'Sweet About Me', Cilmi cleaned up at the 2008 ARIAs, beating out the Princess of Pop for 'Best Female Artist'.
In another clue that mentions "lessons to be learned," this is a potential callback to Gabriella's debut album Lessons to Be Learned.
In the second clue package, she says her 'first mission', with her lead single on her second album being 'On a Mission'. The 'silly sausage' mention could be about a controversy the singer found herself in after she made a joke about 'smuggling in some salami' while on tour with vegan Leona Lewis.
Despite all these connected clues, Space Fairy was unmasked as Geordie Shore star Charlotte Crosby. She can really sing!!
Snow Fox
Clues: Mel B referred to her as "a global superstar" in a teaser, and it's true, Snow Fox can REALLY sing.
In the clue package, we saw two bodyguards helping Snow Fox get dressed, as five little Snow Foxes arrived as she was talking about parents taking care of young ones.
Her first intro package said:
"I am the Snow Fox; graceful, sophisticated, and resilient. But there is more to my life than glamour, you don’t see the amount of hard work it takes to survive in my environment. Of course, here in my winter wonderland, it’s like every day is Christmas. But staying warm is brutal. My pulse has to beat fast. You know, little Snow Foxes are looked after well by their parents. It was during Snow Fox High School that my abilities became apparent. Now that I’m older I have the drive needed to stay alive."
Her second clue package said:
"My first song, the panel’s guesses were as cold as ice. That performance was addictive and I can’t wait to take the stage tonight.
"Living somewhere this beautiful is a dream, home sweet home. You know, I’ve been through intense training. This is so much nicer. Of course, not all Snow Foxes are migratory but I’ve had more than one home. I didn’t build them myself, that would be ridiculous. Actually, I think God built this one. I’m known for my good works, but my mother spent her life with very different works. You do what you can."
Her third clue package said:
"I’m Snow Fox, so I guess I’m a predator, but there’s no way you’ll find me dancing with the devil. I’m not that naughty. Making a living as a Snow Fox can be dangerous. Trolls always looking to shut me down. Don’t worry what other people say, it’s just jealousy. You know, even the greatest moments don’t come easily. The hunt can be difficult and the winters long so, for me, it’s important to have faith in what you do!"
Her fourth clue package said:
"Tonight I am heading to a simpler time. No, not the ice age, back to an era when the King still reigned… Elvis, that is.
"It’s a big world out there. Cold, you have to keep moving, working, producing. Who knows where it might take you? You know, I’ve been conservative and I’ve been wild. Both need you to be confident, it’s a state of mind. My life as a Snow Fox is survival of the fittest. Competition is everywhere you look. Sometimes you’re number one, number two… or number 29. Just do your best. If you do your best, you have a reason to smile! Smile and the world smiles with you. Cry and you cry alone."
Her fifth clue package said:
"My last performance was snow joke, and the panel tried to break the ice! Watch out foxy fans as I freeze the day!
"As a Snow Fox, I want to do my job and look good doing it, even statuesque, royal, but always contemporary. Sitting here, I’ve taken a very strong sense of deja vu, there’s a real feeling of intimacy, don’t you think? Or maybe it’s more obvious, like… what have I inked? And there’s not enough wisdom in the world, or compassion, that’s the one thing I would change."
Guesses: Glee star Amber Riley is a popular guess on Twitter. The mention of Christmas might be referencing Riley's two holiday movies, One Christmas Wish and Christmas Deja Vu. While the comment on "Snow Fox High School" sounds an awful lot like a Glee shout-out to the series' school, William McKinley High School.
Despite all these theories, as Snow Fox was crowned the winner, she was unmasked as Dami Im.
Grim Reaper
Clues: This mask was seen standing next to a mausoleum-looking door that had the word "Rice" on it.
His first intro package said:
"You call me the Grim Reaper… okay, maybe I started out Grim but now I actually enjoy life, it’s quite beautiful! Being the Grim Reaper has sudden highs and lows, for all of you of course. I come to lead your soul so you step into the light. My job never stops, no time off but millions of happy customers. It’s just about all I know! Being the Grim Reaper is a good life, it’s not bliss but it’s close to it."
His second clue package said:
"Last time I left the panel spooked with my performance, they tried my best to peak under my hood… What offering will I bring for them tonight?
"Sorry, but it took me a while to wake up. Okay, let me say this; I’m the one who makes decisions about who stays and who goes. Please, don’t take it personal. You know, I know what it’s like to be on the edge, but I’m more mature now. I think I’ve got it together. The way I dress is quite the throwback, like something from another era… but how long ago? You know, I escort the souls of the dead, so I understand if I’m not popular. I get it, but that’s the gig."
His third clue package said:
"Last time I gave an otherworldly performance, the panel made some ghoulish guesses but do they have a hope in hell of unmasking me tonight?
"Being the Grim Reaper is my own little empire. This job can get lonely, even with so many people around me. It’s funny, that’s why I get clay feet in the country. I know being Grim Reaper is an important job but I have dreamed of doing something else. But let’s get serious, it’s in my DNA and, in the end, this is what I do. I probably can’t start again."
His fourth clue package said:
"It’s time to head to the other side of the century, where overalls, double denim, grunge and hip-hop ruled the '90s.
"You might ask why I'm holding an old farming implement, I don't really know. I grew up in the big smoke! Ooh, it's sharp. I heal fast! Now I know people feel crushing fear when they see me approaching. I get it, but despite what I do for a living, I don't feel like I have bloodstains on my hands. And don't confuse me for a vampire, or a werewolf howling at the moon. A silver bullet won't kill me… but I love platinum! To you, this is a graveyard. Maybe you'll see the devil. But I know there are delights still to come."
His fifth clue package:
"Last time, death came knocking and the panel tried to guess the skeleton in my closet. Now, I’m ready to knock ‘em dead.
"When you look back on your life, you want to score a 10, it’s an important number to me. Of course, you could always aim even higher but success is 150 to one. In my life, I’ve seen it all, I’ve seen the ugly and I’ve seen the pretty and, while I take my job seriously, I am not my brother’s keeper. You know, life is complicated. That’s something you learn travelling this big world, and I have travelled all of it and more. Ambition is a good thing, it can take you from what’s holding you back. You don’t need to hide who you are… even though I still do."
Guesses: I mean, if this isn't Darren Hayes I'll eat my own head. That signature high-note is classic Hayes, plus the clues align seamlessly. The 'rice' reference could be about Darren's iconic '90s band Savage Garden, a group named after a quote in a fantasy novel by Anne Rice.
The mention of their life starting out "grim" might be referring to the singer struggling to accept his sexuality in his younger years. Before coming out, Darren was married to a woman in 1994 and he's spoken out before about feeling internalised homophobia. The mention of his life now being "beautiful" might be a nod to Darren's song 'So Beautiful'.
Another package referencing 'popular' could be a nod to Darren's song 'Pop!ular'. Grim Reaper alluding to him choosing 'who stays and who goes' might be about his decision to disband Savage Garden to become a solo artist.
Darren Hayes was unmasked in The Masked Singer finale.
Bad Avocado
Clues: This mystery celebrity is a "billion stream powerhouse" which could mean a few different things. Are they a musician with a billion streams? Do they star in a smash-hit TV show on a streaming platform? Or perhaps, they host a popular podcast? Or appear on a YouTube channel?
Her intro package said:
"I’m a Bad Avocado, so what? People treat me like they know me, that’s enough to brown off anyone! Y’know, most Avocados grew up with a lot of warmth and heat, I was a bit green when I came to attention. You’d think that would make me highly strung, but I know when to call it quits and just let it slide. Would you like a slice? Just look at it through my eyes, there’s a lot to unpack in someone’s life, so quit the judgment, okay? They reckon that time heals, we’ll see about that!"
Her second clue package said:
"You know, us Avocados react badly to being bashed all the time, I really don’t do well crying in the shadows. Actually, people enjoy their time in the sun because they like a bit of brown… Not bits of brown. I’m not a model Avocado, obviously, but I’m in good shape whether you like it or not. I’m keeping it real! Could I have a career as a singing avocado? Is that where my aim is?"
Guesses: This one has everyone stumped. The voice suggests they might not be a professional singer so the sky is the limit. For once in his life, Dave Hughes could have the most accurate guess, suggesting tennis champion Ash Barty which would explain the "highly strung" inclusion, referring to a tennis racket's strings.
Another rogue guess thrown out was Grey's Anatomy star, Kate Walsh, who happens to live in Australia.
But the mask ended up being a bit of a rogue celeb: Shane Warne's daughter, Summer.
Guesses: This could be Emma Bunton's singing voice. That you, Baby Spice? The "spicier than ever" comment could also be a nod to other pop stars with spices for names, like TLC's Chilli or Ice Spice.
The Block's Shaynna Blaze was floated as another contender, which turned out to be correct!
Tiny
Clues: The only clue we have for Tiny is that they might be a "celebrity super dad".
In the package, Tiny made a reference to being “top of the class” with algebra equations scrolling across the screen.
His first intro package said:
"Hi, I’m Tiny and nothing much scares me. I think we all know that’s true. Sorry, forgive my speed, I’m not as fast as I used to be. So let me tell you about myself. As a monster I’m top of the class, one step ahead! Okay, we’re all caught up now. Here ye, here ye, let my voice be heard all over the world. You know, there’s a lot of opportunities as a monster. It’s actually very difficult choosing what to do. Do you really need to know more about me? Or is it ‘fin’? That means the end."
His second clue package said:
"Last time, the guesses could have been a total wipeout, I was walking on sunshine but I’m ready for a monster act this evening.
"People say that I look scary. Really? You don’t like the way I look? Well that’s just swell. So look at my house, well let me tell you I’m miles from where I started. I won’t sugarcoat it, this is nothing like my first home, that was just a billabong. Look at that rubbish, it’s screaming, ‘pick me up!’ Imagine if we all threw our rubbish on the ground. I know it’s hard to love a monster like me, I would be a very long time waiting, wouldn’t I? Maybe I should admit defeat. I won’t do that, because there’s always hope. The sun will shine again!"
His second clue package said:
"I know I get a bit prickly but that’s because of unrealised dreams. But this will be my year! You know, I’m not the type to get bored. I’ve always been on the move! But the road is never straight in a monster’s life. You never know where it will take you! You’re probably not surprised that I grew up quickly. Having wet feet will do that to a monster. But right now, I’m searching for gold… or maybe some quicksilver? Yeah!"
Guesses: Where to begin? Hamish Blake would be legendary. Other contenders could be The Bachelors' Sam Wood and Matty 'J' Johnson, or MAFS stars Michael Brunelli and Cam Merchant.
But based on that distinct voice, it sounds bang on like Pete Murray. And guess what? The clues match up. Pete is indeed a celebrity who is a dad, as the father of three. Plus the clue about "top of the class" aligns nicely with Pete's song 'Class A'.
The "pick me up" line could be tied to Murray's song 'You Pick Me Up'. The "miles from where I started" clue sounds like a reference to Pete's hometown of Miles in Queensland.
On episode six, Tiny was unmasked as Pete Murray. Gotcha!
Fawn
Clues: Fawn has been teased as "Aussie royalty", along with a clip of the mask cranking out a hip-swinging rendition of The Pussycat Dolls' hit 'Don't Cha'.
Her intro package said:
"As a Fawn, I spend a lot of my time camouflaged, you don’t really see the real me. Not completely. I’m always on the move, maybe that’s why fitness plays such a big part in my life. Okay, let me be direct about this: like Bambi, there’s often heartbreak around me but I need to be the model of composure by giving 100 every single time. I prefer somewhere warm, but I can withstand the cold too. I’m quick, everybody knows that, maybe that’s why I’m always first."
Guesses: Based on their voice, they sound like maybe... not a professional singer. The queen of Australian radio, Jackie 'O' Henderson, was floated, before they were unmasked as the legendary Sandra Sully.
Watch The Masked Singer Australia at 7.30pm on Mondays only on 10 and 10 Play.
Feature image: Channel 10/Getty.
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