There are two little girls and a boy in Sydney, who I wish I could hold tonight.
I wish I could rock them and murmur words of comfort to them.
I wish I could wipe away the events of the last few days.
I wish I could instead fill their heads with innocent questions of what Santa will bring and what they are doing on their holidays.
I wish I could dry their tears and whisper fierce mantras to them that it will all be okay because mum will be home soon.
And I wish I could be speaking the truth.
Katrina Dawson.
I want to erase the pain of these three small children of barrister Katrina Dawson, who was killed during the Sydney siege over night.
But I can’t. And that makes me angry and above all desperately, desperately sad.
I know I am not alone.
I know that all of Australia took a sharp intake of breath when they heard that one of the victims of the Sydney siege was a mother-of-three.
Over the past day, Australia stood on a knife edge for 17 hours waiting, wondering what the fate of the hostages inside the Lindt Café would be.
Many of us did not sleep, even those far removed followed the terrible events via the media praying for a peaceful resolution. While we were filled with fear and terror for an unknown number of victims that most of us did not know, the families of 17 people were in a living hell.
When, just before 2.30am, the NSW Police tweeted that the Sydney siege was over, the families of 15 people breathed a sigh of relief.
For the families of two hostages though, the anguish was only just beginning.
A sea of flowers laid out at Martin Place today. Image via William West/Getty.
Manager of the Lindt Store in Martin Place, Tori Johnson is being hailed as a hero today and rightly so. Reports are emerging that he was killed trying to knock the gun out of the aggressor’s hands; he was killed trying to ensure his customers and staff were safe.
And while of course we grieve for all those touched by these events, as a mother of three children myself I feel a special jaggered edge of pain for Katrina Dawson’s family. Three children who will grow up without their mum.
Facts are still emerging but it has been reported that the talented 38-year-old barrister, widely praised as being one of Sydney’s best and brightest, was killed trying to protect a pregnant friend.
Flowers in Martin Place. Image via William West/ Getty.
Her husband Paul Smith, a partner at top tier law firm King & Wood Mallesons, is now left without his wife.
Her brother, her parents, her colleagues, and her friends, their lives too – shattered.
But we can let them know that with them, we grieve. That our hearts ache at the thought of the gap left in their lives.
We can work to ensure they one day know, that an entire community held out our arms in comfort for them.
And we can hope that one day they will know that many, many very brave men and women of our police force and ambulance service risked their lives valiantly trying to save their mother.
It is these three small children who I am finding it hard to let go of today, and while I have never met them, nor never will, I find myself shedding tears along with the rest of Australia. To Katrina Dawson’s three beloved children, please know that we mourn alongside you.
Tributes to the victims of the Sydney siege can be found below.
Some more social media tributes:
If you are distressed or upset, please contact Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14 or your local support line. NSW Health advise that if you experience persistent issues that interfere with your life you are encouraged to talk to your General Practitioner or health care provider.
In NSW you can contact your local mental health service via the NSW Mental Health Line on 1800 011 511.
Top Comments
Thank you for writing this empathetic article. Life is truly unjust as again evidenced by the two younger people who had so much life to live and instead are now gone due to this horrible act of terrorism. The banal comments querying why Australians are so emotional about this violence reveal a lack of insight by the writers and maybe informs more about their limitations. It is possible to care for all victims.
Yes, it was a tragedy. Yes, it was distressing, but mothers and fathers die every day and leave small children. Life is not fair, it is not just, it is often cruel and deranged people can and do cause enormous harm. Thousands of Palestinian children were left without their mothers when Israel attacked the Gaza prison because of resistance to its military occupation - was as much purple prose written then? We are selective in our tragedies.
A young woman and a young man died because of a crazed lunatic. Why is this event being milked when so many other instances are ignored?
Because it happened nearby, because it was live on TV, because it didn't just harm women but men too, becuase the perpetrator was brown, becuse the vicitms were white and middle class, because the perpetrator was Muslim, because the crime was dramatic, because the victims spoke English, because it didn't happen in a family home, because the victims were not poor.
Because we are selective in who we care about and which victims lives we decide matter.
Because its so close to us, because it's in the cafe that we go to, the street we walk through, the city that we call home and we felt safe in. And because the people that have been hurt are people that we know and love. Greiving for these people doesn't take away from all these other tragedies. I think denying us our grief takes a little of your humanity away.
To rosros and anon I would like to say this. If your mother, father, child , friend etc were killed would you weep more for them then if it were a stranger?
If you had a gun to your head would that concern you more than if a stranger had a gun to their head?
The fact is the people's lives in the Lindt cafe weren't any more or less important than anyone else's in the world but we feel it more because we think that could have been me, or my child or my spouse or my parent or my friend. In fact I was in there briefly not long ago and I thought that could have been me, and I also remembered some of the workers faces. We have every right to feel it more when it is in our own backyard because it is an immediate threat to our own lives and potentially those that we love. Just as I'm sure that the people in Pakistan are more concerned about their own losses compared to what happens to us.
The other thing is there is tragedy upon tragedy in this terrible world and people like myself do feel upset when we hear of those poor kids and teachers in Pakistan but the reality is if I let all of these things affect me on a deep level I would have a breakdown! You have to operate with some degree of emotional detachment to survive in this world. It is also the fact that as an individual I am almost completely powerless to change all of these situations, I give money to charity when I can, but despite that people are still starving to death in Africa, people are still being killed in war zones, people are still dying of cancer etc.
just because people may switch channels doesn't mean they don't care, it is because if they truly felt every tragedy and realised how powerless they felt to change it they would lose their minds.
Because this one hits close to home. Because it could have been any other Australian in that cafe. Because our country is peaceful and multi-cultural and tolerant and things like this rarely happen here.
And for the comment below about victims being white and rich - did you not see the hostages? They were a cross section of people - anglo saxon; asian; indian; european; young; old; pregnant - much like the make up of our country. The two people who didn't make it in this tragedy happen to be white - that is all. It has nothing to do with being selective. We didn't choose who would be in that cafe that morning.