So. Much. Sweat. (Image: Bridesmaids)
Summer is like coriander: you either love or you hate it. I happen to fall in the latter category.
Growing up in New Zealand, I absolutely loved summer — the dry heat, the cool water, the mild temperatures. Then I moved to Australia.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not throwing any shade at Australia. Moving here was a wonderful decision, but boy was it a shock. Coming from a land where the median temperature is 25 degrees celcius on a good day to a country where the minimum can easily be 30 was more than a jolt to the system.
After four years I still haven’t acclimatised. And don’t even get me started on the humidity.
I know I’m not the only one. While most Aussies I meet are counting down the days ‘til summer comes around so they can hit the beach wearing ‘thongs’ (jandals) with their ‘eskys’ (chilli bins) and their ‘swimmers’ (togs), I call upon the minority who brave this oven every year to join me in despair at the raging temperatures and ask: Will our faces ever be sheen-free again?!
1. Firstly, not being able to sleep through the night because of the sheer heat (and lack of air conditioning), is basically the plot line for the Conjuring 2.
2. Not to mention having to use pillows to divide you and your love friend because you’re too sticky to touch one another.
3. The fan giving you a false sense of cool air security when really all it does it circulate the musty, hot air.
4. Braving the walk from your house to your bus stop becomes a game of ‘how sweaty can I get today?’ before entering said bus looking like you’ve just run a marathon.
Watch: Some tips to get your makeup behaving even in the steamiest weather. (Post continues after video.)
5. You live for air conditioning.
6. Life gets harder in a sartorial sense.
Sure, beachside dwellers walk around in next to nothing, but it’s much easier to pile on the layers when you’re too cold rather than take them off AND not get arrested for public nudity when it’s too hot.
7. The constant pressure to be outside and ‘enjoy the lovely weather.’
Some days you'd rather stay in and watch 10 hours of Netflix, thank you very much.
8. Upper lip sweat becomes a thing you didn’t even know was possible.
And makes you look permanently guilty of something.
9. There’s only so many badly-cooked steaks from a backyard barbeque one person can digest.
10. Public transport becomes a catatonic wasteland filled with body odour.
And other smells we’d like to never think about again.
11. Exercise becomes unbearable.
12. If you aren’t ~blessed~ with naturally golden skin, the summer sun can not only be uncomfortable, but unsafe.
Burnt yourself to a crisp? Try these after-sun products. (Post continues after gallery.)
Our favourite after-sun moisturising products
13. You always forget to put sunblock on the upper middle of your back.
Three bottles of aloe vera soothing gel later …
14. Cockroaches. Cockroaches everywhere.
15. So. Much. Chafing.
17. Every single good TV show has gone off air mid-season, leaving us yearning for February.
18. You instantly regret your decision to go to the beach once your foot gets first-degree burns from the sand.
16. Even if you did make a little effort with your hair today, humidity will make sure no one can tell.
Watch: 3 ways to fight the hair destroying powers of humidity. (Post continues after video.)
19. Lying on a beach surrounded by hundreds of other people lying on a beach is really not your jam.
20. Sometimes, if you’re feeling ~adventurous~, you might head down to your local pool...
Only to find out a child has defecated in it and it’s been closed for the day.
21. Your summer-loving friends cannot understand that, "I can’t think of anything worse that going clubbing in 35 degree humid heat" is the reason you don’t want to go out.
22. Blowflies think it’s appropriate to land on your face while you sleep.
23. And mozzies like to make sure you don’t sleep at all.
24. Some days you just don’t cook because it’s too hot to turn the oven on.
25. Using any form of hair styling tool makes you sweat and your hair ends up more humidified than before.
26. You refrain from mentioning to anyone your distaste for summer for fear of the common response, ‘what’s wrong with you?!’
27. Somehow, summer ends up lasting December through April and you wonder why we even bother with ‘Autumn’.
What grinds your gears about summer? Let us know in the comments.
This post originally appeared on Debrief Daily. Read the original article.