I know what you're thinking. Earth, air, water and fire are a few things you probably never want to see in the bedroom. But I'm not suggesting bringing a bunsen burner in between the sheets today.
Nope, I want to talk about sex signs.
Sex signs are 'houses' of communication that each person slots into and they can tell us A LOT about what we want sexually and how we can get it.
They were categories created by Dr Jen Freed, a psychological astrologer and emotional education trainer, and learning all about them sort of blew my mind.
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If you're thinking, 'I know about astrology and what signs I do and don't mesh with romantically', then that's cool, but unfortunately, you're also a little bit wrong.
According to Dr. Jen, "The sun sign astrology – eg you're a Gemini and I'm a Taurus – that has no bearing on compatibility. There is so much more to a person's chart and if you want to have great sex, it isn't about what [astrology] sign you are."
Instead, there needs to be more of a focus of what those people are bringing to the table (sexually), and what you're willing to eat (also, sexually). While there are learnings you can take from astrology for better bedroom interactions, Dr. Jen argues that you should be looking more closely at your intimacy language or sex sign.
So let's unpack those, shall we?
She's identified the four sex signs as Water, Air, Earth and Fire. And while these terms are used in astrology, just because you're a Pisces, doesn't mean you're a Water sex sign. Capiche?
Dr. Jen walked through her findings on the Sex With Emily podcast, where she shared details about each sex language and how to figure out which sign you align with best.
Here's a plot twist you probably weren't expecting: we all have a bit of each of these signs in our sexual universe. But there is a 'house' that you will connect with the most – and that's your lead sign.
To find out which sign you are, scroll through and see the statements you align with most.
Water Sex Sign.
- I like to feel you with me.
- I like to express my feelings to you.
- I like to feel deeply connected.
- I like to look into your soul.
- I like to feel merged.
- I like to cry during or after sex.
- I like to feel very emotionally safe.
If you connect with these statements, you're likely a Water Sex Sign.
Water Sexers crave emotional connection in order to drive their sexual energy – leaning into that softness to build intimacy and passion. Their fantasies sit within the mental space much more than any other sign. They think about psychic sex with intense connection; they imagine idealised intimacy and absolute vulnerability – as these are the extremes of the sex that make them feel most ready to hop between the sheets with someone.
Each sign has 'sexual subtle fields' that nod to what they crave in intimate partnerships. For Water signs, they love being deeply listened to, holding eye contact for longer than usual, and acknowledging their partner's positive traits (and that compliment being returned) – and they are the sign most likely to want to try a body painting workshop. Why? Well, it involves a thorough appreciation and dedication to their own or their partner's body. And that to Water signs is HOT.
As expected, their communication style is laden with sensitivity and empathy. They feel very tenderly towards others and often absorb their partner's emotions into their own body and being. This act is called 'merging' and it follows them to the bedroom, where they often mimic their partner's sexual levels.
This means they are usually very generous lovers, but on the flip side, they are the sign most likely to sacrifice their own pleasure for another – so they're not actually getting off themselves.
Air Sex Sign.
- I like to discuss it.
- I like sex talk.
- I get aroused by my partner's mind.
- I like to get kinky.
- I like to break rules.
- I like to make sure you get off.
- I like erotica.
If you connect with these statements, you're likely an Air Sex Sign.
These signs are usually pumped full of fast, witty, clever and conceptual energy that leaks over their sex life in creative ways. Their sexual fantasies include montages of sexual adventure – ones with equal satisfaction across partners and a bit of rebellious energy thrown in for good measure. Dr. Jen suggests that this sign is most likely to idealise sex in their fantasies, picturing perfect sensual bodies in scenic sexual scenarios. Air signs also spend a lot of their time imagining sexy discussions and playing out conversations in their head as mental foreplay.
The sexual subtle fields for Air sexers look a little like this: a lot of humour in their intimate moments, their relationship is filled with inside jokes, they love to talk about sex openly, they love to be surrounded by people, they love PDA, they have definitely read some erotica, they are sexters, and they always keep handwritten sentimental notes from their loved ones.
In terms of their communication, a lot of it exists above their body – meaning they love a bit of brainstorming, outside-of-the-box thinking and they are also a little (a lot) into gossip. This does mean that Air signs can get a bit in their own head about things, overthinking communication and reading heavily into the energy and body language of their partner.
Sexually, much like Water signs, they are very generous lovers and they are sexual partners that you can be at ease with quickly, often using humour and conversation to build connection in the bedroom.
Earth Sex Sign.
- I like going slow.
- I like to linger.
- I like to be touched everywhere.
- I like a gorgeous setting for making love.
- I like to plan for it.
- I like it in certain ways at certain times.
- I like lots of holding and cuddling before and after.
If you connect with these statements, you're likely an Earth Sex Sign.
Earth sexers are those who seek stability, reliability and practical connections that they can turn to safely. It's a slower, steadier energy that is buildable in the best way. They often fantasise about sultry sex and long and loving seductions with heaps of foreplay. They imagine being sexually savoured with a slow and steady build-up to climax.
The sexual subtle fields for Earth sexers can include cravings for things like: massages from their intimate partner, a lot of petting and hair touching, flirty dancing, and active and frequent physical affirmations. Compliments ground Earth signs, rather than giving them a big head, so if you're with an Earth sign, remember to tell them how much you love them as often as possible – it'll mentally top them up and build a deeper connection between you.
When it comes to communication, they love details and breaking down conversations to digest them properly. They are deep thinkers and great conversationalists. Earth signs love to give advice and they are often stuffed to the brim with ideas and helpful information that they are desperate to share.
Earth signs are deep, careful lovers that take their time to build pleasure and connection – but the results are usually well worth the wait.
Fire Sex Sign.
- I like to initiate.
- I like to dominate.
- I like to be spontaneous.
- I love to use toys.
- I like to wear costumes.
- I'm drawn to role-play in the bedroom.
- I like to do it vigorously.
- I like quickies.
- I like to do it adventurously.
If you connect with these statements, you're likely a Fire Sex Sign.
Fire is that bold, energetic, charismatic energy that you can be drawn to when you're seeking spice and danger. Fire signs will have sexual fantasies about power dynamics (like an office affair with their boss), or dangerous sexual scenarios (like having sex in public and the thrill of being caught). But they also like to dabble in fantasies about worship, and super artsy visual sex.
Their subtle sex fields look like: roleplay, going sex toy shopping, dirty talk, dressing up in costumes and lingerie, and they love a sexy weekend away where there's lots of possibility of sexual adventure.
Their bedroom antics mimic their communication style – they are passionate conversationalists, and they will likely interrupt someone mid-sentence because they just need to share something immediately and they are excited to tell you.
Where Fire Sex Signs will stumble in the bedroom is that this overexcitable energy leads them into 'future thinking' too much. That means that while they're in the middle of a sexual act – say kissing a partner's neck – they are already running through the next move in their head. Mentally, they are already kissing a whole other body part, and therefore aren't soaking up the moment they are actually in.
Listen to this episode of Sealed Section, Mamamia's sex podcast. Article continues after episode.
Now, here's a little activity task for you... I want you to go through the list of statements again and circle the ones you don't resonate with. If you find an abundance in one 'house' then, according to Dr. Jen, this is your area of weakness.
Weakness doesn't necessarily mean something bad, but it is a learning.
There are two ways to go about processing your weakness. Either you see these as your firm 'nope' list, a collection of things you know you never want to do in the bedroom. Or you see it as areas to explore. You can dabble in your weak spots to see if they are things you do actually like but you've never been compelled to try before.
Happy Sex Sign exploring!
Feature Image: Mamamia.
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