'I'm a single man and want to have a baby on my own. I wasn't prepared for the opinions.'

The tap water at my sister's wedding was good. 

I'm a non-drinker, and the thing about non-drinking at a wedding is that most of the things people say to you stay in your memory for a while.

I'm the eldest of four kids. My sister is the youngest and 11 years my junior, and the two boys in between are both married, and one of them has three kids. 

Yep, this makes me the unwedded, unattached loser of my family. Or, as I prefer to describe myself, the greatest fun uncle that ever lived.

As with all family get-togethers, I was the kids' entertainment at my sister's wedding. My nephews and my niece (aged 10, eight and four) thought showering their uncle Matt with confetti was hilarious.

Matt with his niece and nephew. Image: Supplied.

Even after the sixth confetti dump on my head, the youngest cackled, thinking my startled reaction was real, and he'd caught me unaware.

"How much do they love you, Matt?" an aunty of mine asked rhetorically as she approached. "You need to be a dad Matt. Even on your own. Just do it."

That was all she offered, as she realised she was about to be set upon with confetti and humorously scurried away.

I lay awake that night thinking about what she said. Never marrying, or perhaps more specifically, being alone has never worried me, but never becoming a dad does.

And while I tell this little anecdote with humour, that humour blankets a heartache that beats strongest whenever I'm around little kids, babies especially. 

I'm always happy for new parents, but admit resentment often creeps in on vicarious joy because in my mind I'm way better with bubs, toddlers and kids than they are, and feel hard done by that they've been blessed with a child and I haven't.

What a horrible way to think. 

I really do appreciate the impact a woman's biological clock can have on her mental and emotional well-being. I don't mean to insult women; I certainly can't empathise because I face no biological limitations. But I'm almost 40, and in my mind, it's now or never. I won't be an older father because I can't be the best father that way.

A couple of mates agreed with me during a recent conversation on the morality of single blokes pursuing IVF. One even expanded on other factors he believes allow a man to be 'the best father' he can be, and was quick to point out, "a mother".

Watch: The effects of growing up with a single parent. Post continues after video.

"Bringing a child into the world without a mother, and putting what you want ahead of what a child needs, supports the definition of selfishness," he said.

That hurt. And evoked a level of guilt that had me gripping the metaphorical door in readiness to slam it shut on the idea. 

"But couldn't one argue a single man bringing a life into the world, and raising, nurturing and educating that life, supports the definition of selflessness?" the second of the two mates said. 

"And that while not genetically the same as a mother, a mother figure can be just as effective in supporting a child to grow and thrive?"

The power of words; those two suggestions helped me let go of my guilt like two hands letting an animal back into its natural habitat. I always have liked that mate better. 

If you can picture blokes standing around talking about IVF, then you can appreciate the atmosphere became somewhat uncomfortable after about five minutes, and we switched back to regular programming, i.e. football. 

But it hasn't stopped me from thinking about it, and while the tug of war continues in my mind, one side is definitely getting the better of the other. 

One of my closest friends lost her mother at just two years of age. She was raised by a single dad, and he did the greatest job of any dad out there because she's the kindest person I know. 

She's been bringing joy to those around her since the day she was born. A bit like confetti, to my niece and nephews.

Read our recommended stories about single parenthood and IVF:

• The silver linings of being a single mum (that nobody talks about).
• 'Will she grow up feeling lonely?' What it's like raising an only child as a single mum.
• "There is no one else": The unique mental load of being a single parent. 

Feature image: Supplied.

Matt is the author of Tinderella Wants A Fella, and creator of mattychitchatty.com

He spent time on the story teams of Home and Away, Packed To The Rafters and A Place To Call Home, before transitioning into journalism. 

Matt overheard his eight-year-old niece tell her best friend, “That’s my uncle Matt. He’s weird because he doesn’t have a girlfriend,” and is trying to do something about it. 

Matt is new to Instagram. Check him out here.