If you’re even remotely serious about dating in 2016 there’s only one app you need, and there’s no swiping involved. What is involved is catching Pokemon and battling together… the recipe for true love, I’m sure.
Yep… PokeDates is here, with the tag line:
“Gotta catch ’em all, together!”
Here’s how it works:
First off, you have to be a Pokemon GO user. You’re then asked to answer a few telling questions about yourself, creating a PokeProfile, and share your weekly schedule (Pokemon GO-ers are busy people, after all).
A team of specialists then spend time searching for your ideal PokeMatch; someone who’s PokeProfile is compatible with your own, and who’s free to “explore and battle” with you at times that suit.
You’ll receive an email with the details of your PokeDate, and where to meet. All you have to do is show up at the right place, at the right time, with the intention of catching ’em all… together.
Instead of a drinks date, it’s a date where you are doing something together. Kind of like going on an adventure hike with a date, except there’s no adventure hike.
Also, the first PokeDate is free.
Genius.
I see you shaking your head (or maybe I’m the only one shaking my head). But don’t scoff too soon.
Think about it. PokeDates solves a number of typical first date problems.
Awkward first date conversation is avoided... Because there's no time for small talk when you're trying to catch 'em all.
Any first-date nerves can be channelled into battling, exploring, running around, taking aim, doing whatever else it is you do with imaginary Pokemon. (Sounds like poke-foreplay, amiright?).
It gives you automatic insight into your mate's problem-solving skills and diplomacy - how do they react to losing when you beat them in a battle? (Cause you will beat them, otherwise there'll be no second PokeDate).
You can strategise together about the best ways to win. Bonding, people. Bonding.
You're immediately made aware of your mate's level of commitment. Level 5 and up is a goer. Below level 5? Well, obviously they're not taking things seriously, and will undoubtedly have the same attitude when it comes to dating. Go for someone who's in it for the long-haul.
Speaking of the long-haul. PokeDates are all about future planning. You can judge your match's viability as a life-partner, and potential parent, by the way they hatch them pokemon eggs.
Added bonus: All PokeMatches are likely to have (potentially newly-discovered) killer bodies and suntans. Because Pokemon Go has re-introduced everyone to walking, running and being outdoorsee.
If you're looking for true love... Go catch 'em all (but no diseases).
Watch next: MM Confessions - I bailed from a date because.