I handed a token to the fitness instructor and proceeded to walk towards the back corner of the room. As I looked up, I could see buff males pumping iron while peering over the railing to get a glimpse of the amphitheatre-like group fitness studio.
"Great," I sighed to myself. "They’re all staring at me because I don’t know what I’m doing."
For the next 55 minutes, I attempted to follow along to the choreographed fitness routine that everyone except me seemed to already know off by heart. Without my glasses on, I struggled to see the instructor and had to rely on those around me for the cue of what came next.
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Feeling embarrassed and lost, I let out an awkward laugh every time I made a mistake or couldn’t keep up.
Each time I looked up at the weights area, I was met with a split second of eye contact from the muscly men who were no doubt laughing at me because they could tell I was out of place.
I was a fool to think I could ever fit in with the fit women who were clearly much better than me at this whole gym thing.
Having dabbled in various sports over the years but only really sticking to dancing, I never considered myself an 'exerciser' or a 'fit' person - especially after gaining 20kg post high school.
If someone told me at that moment that in seven years' time I’d be working as a personal trainer at one of the busiest gyms in Australia, I would have laughed and told them they had confused me with someone else.
But two years later, I once again mustered up the courage to step foot into a gym and kick start a life-changing health journey that would eventually see me pursue a career in fitness.
During the years that followed, these are the five things that changed my relationship with fitness.
1. I stopped comparing myself to others and asked for help.
When I was learning to drive, I went to driving lessons - the same for when I learnt how to ride a horse. I placed so much pressure on myself to be 'perfect' the first time I ever went to the gym - when those I was comparing myself to had been going for years.
Admitting I could use a little guidance to get me going, I hired a personal trainer to teach me the ropes and help me build confidence in what I was doing so I could eventually feel safe going to the gym on my own.
During this time, my entire focus was on doing slightly better than I did the day before and using that as a measure of progress instead of constantly looking at those around me.
2. I found a type of exercise I enjoyed.
If I don’t find something enjoyable or fulfilling, the chances of me doing it long term is slim. I knew that in order for me to change my relationship with fitness; I needed to find a type of exercise that excited me and made me feel empowered.
Spin classes hurt my knees and running hurt my shins, so my PT got me lifting weights and using other forms of resistance training for exercise. Surprisingly, I found it fun.
Feeling myself get stronger each session was pretty cool too, considering I’d never done it before and wouldn’t consider myself a naturally gifted athlete.
3. I stopped focussing purely on the scales.
When I stopped obsessing over the number on the scales and shifted my focus towards how exercising made me feel, it became a much more enjoyable process. I kept track of the weights I was lifting and saw the limit increase week after week. I also noticed I was less out of breath walking up and down the stairs of my apartment.
It was enough motivation to keep me coming back for more. Not to mention, the days that I went to the gym I was more focused and productive at work, and had better sleep - winning!
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4. I made it part of my routine.
It’s not easy to build new habits, so working regular exercise into an already set routine of work, social life, Netflix and sleep can be challenging. But making exercise one of the non-negotiable tasks I needed to tick off throughout the week was the biggest game changer.
Instead of umming and ahing about when I would next go to the gym, I blocked out regular time in my calendar like I would for a work meeting.
Holding myself accountable and showing up at the gym like it was any other booked appointment enabled me to work regular exercise into my weekly schedule without having to think about it.
5. I embraced the mental health benefits.
My relationship with fitness has changed in more ways than I can count, but the biggest transformation that exercise has had on my life is the impact it’s had on my mental health.
I’ve found exercise to be a great outlet for my stress and also a tool for me to build mental resilience.
Being able to push past a physical barrier and develop the strength to physically do something I couldn’t do yesterday has worked wonders for my confidence. Knowing I can work hard to overcome barriers in the gym has transferred into my day-to-day life and given me the drive to know that I can handle anything that comes my way.
Each day when I exercise, I like to tell myself that it’s the hardest thing I will do that day. Anything else challenging I have to do is just something that *seems* hard - but whatever I’m doing while exercising actually *is* physically hard!
I spent most of my life hating the gym. Now, I teach other women that the gym isn’t such a scary place after all.
If I can turn my relationship with fitness around and fall in love with exercising, then anyone can.
You can follow Lauren on Instagram here.
Feature Image: Supplied.
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