This post includes discussion of suicide and disordered eating that may be distressing to some readers.
When Noah O'Brien started high school, he began to identify as non-binary.
At 14, in mid-2022, Noah penned a letter to his parents explaining that he identified as a boy.
His parents, James and Lauren, were uncertain at first, his mum wondering if he'd been influenced by friends or someone online, but they soon realised this was no phase or fad.
"The longer that time went on, we just saw, no, it was definitely just him, who he was," she told the ABC's Four Corners, who launched a recent investigation into the state of healthcare for transgender people in Australia.
While the family tried to get Noah the gender-affirming treatment he needed, they came up against seemingly never-ending roadblocks.
In January 2023, 14-year-old Noah took his own life.
Listen to the hosts of TGM speak to the mother of a teen who transitioned. Post continues below.
Sharing her son's story on Four Corners, Lauren explained the lengths the family went to in their attempts to help Noah, who began to severely restrict his eating in an attempt to delay the onset of puberty – a time that can be incredibly distressing for transgender kids, as their bodies change in opposition to their identity.
Noah was taken to Westmead Children's Hospital, where he was diagnosed with anorexia and eventually discharged with a recommendation he and his parents seek support for gender dysphoria.
That's where the roadblocks began.
Noah's mum got a referral from a GP to attend the hospital's gender clinic, which she tells Four Corners was sent to the hospital in October 2022. But what the family didn't know what that he would be pushed to the bottom of the waiting list because he had already begun puberty.
"We did all we could, Lauren did more than anyone ever could, but we just didn't get any help from anywhere that could help us," Noah's grandmother, Rose Marsh, told the program.
Noah was admitted to the eating disorder unit to treat his anorexia, and it was during this time, Four Corners reports, that a social worker from the gender service visited him. According to an email the program obtained, the social worker advised further discussions with Noah around menstrual management, as his cycles were causing distress.
However, this discussion never happened, it seems, with the hospital reportedly saying that Noah's eating disorder needed to be the primary focus at that time.
As the new year approached, Noah became increasingly distressed about the idea of returning to school after the holidays, Lauren told Four Corners. He'd be wearing a boys' uniform for the first time.
Noah took his own life in January this year.
"My husband gave him CPR, and the ambulance and the police arrived about four minutes after we called them and they took him to Westmead Hospital, where he stayed alive until six in the morning," Lauren said on the program.
"That was from about 11 o'clock. So, we got seven hours to actually say goodbye."
Westmead Children's Hospital management declined to speak to Four Corners, saying that, 'Due to patient privacy and confidentiality, [Sydney Children's Hospitals Network] is unable to provide further information about his specific care."
They also expressed their "sincere condolences to Noah's family".
"Lauren rang places, went to the doctors, tried everywhere to get help, but it was just like doors were closing in her face. Nobody was responding to her call for help," Rose said of the family's fight to help their son.
"I feel like he didn't get any help or support in making that transition to become a male."
If you find yourself needing to talk to someone after reading this story, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14. For children and young adults, Kids Helpline is available on 1800 551 800.
Feature image: Four Corners; GoFundMe.
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