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A few weeks ago, American mum and TikTok creator Shay.Nanigans got precisely the reaction she was after when she posted a video online asking: "can we normalise sending the other family money for playdates?"
In the now-viral clip, the self-confessed 'rage-baiter' posted a screenshot of a text exchange she claimed had happened between her and another mum. In it, Shay had requested the other woman send her $15 for 'food and materials' (including a fee for using the bathroom) after her child had been over for a playdate.
The post, which was entirely satirical but duped a number of commenters and media outlets, led to a wider debate about playdates and the proper etiquette around them.
@shay.nanigans87 Contraversial but I think it’s a really good idea. What do you think?
♬ original sound - Shay.nanigans87
A lot of parents chimed in with their list of 'rules' for the playdates. There were think pieces and follow-up TikToks posted about making sure kids don’t have any screen time on a playdate ("it's about connection, not plugging them in!"), clearing the list of snacks with the other parent beforehand ("please don't stuff him full of sugar then send him home hyper") and of course, how to approach disagreements between the children on said playdate.
And look. These are all valid discussions to be having, if you're an organised, calm parent of one or two — heck, even if you're a unicorn with a big family whose children respond to basic demands.
But I have three children, none of whom have ever shown an interest in toeing the behavioural line, and playdates at my house are more about making sure the WFC matches culminate away from sharp edges than cultivating any sort of nourishing imaginative play opportunities.