In the lead up to Mother’s Day, I had been thinking about the important women in my son’s life and the roles they play.
From Aunties to Nan’s to close friends I could see the importance of every single one of them. But then it dawned on me – I’m not the only mother figure in my son’s life.
Mother’s Day isn’t just about the woman who gave birth. It’s also about the woman who chose to love my son as her own. His stepmother, Belinda.
It hasn’t always been easy. It was harder for me than it was for my son. I had a fear that Belinda would come in and take my place and that quite honestly, she was a stranger playing a leading role in my son’s life. I had no say in that.
Another difficult thing I found with co-parenting was that at the start, we all had different opinions, expectations and experiences that made our parenting differ from one another. Bringing all these opinions and experiences together was difficult, as they influenced decision making and the choices we made about him.
Co-parenting with a step parent wasn’t what I originally had in mind when my ex and I conceived Kyson. I can’t say there is a particular time or moment when I realised just how important Belinda was to him and how this stranger not only became a member of his life but a part of mine and our family.
That stranger was no longer a no-named faceless woman but a mother who chose to love him just simply because she could and for the little boy that he is.
The best things about co-parenting far outweigh the initial fears I felt and we’ve learned to come together as a united front and make decisions that we agree with.
Belinda offers many positive things to Kyson's life, some that I myself can’t do. She teaches him his manners and she teaches him to count. They sing kids songs together, go on little holidays and road trips and she influences him to make good choices for himself.
There are also many things that Belinda does that are boring and not something many other people would selflessly put their hand up to do for him, like wash his clothes, grocery shopping for food that Kyson likes, cooks for him and cleans his mess.
She’s braved toilet training and cases of gastro and had many sleepless nights and she still has had to go to work the next morning like mothers do.
Every time Kyson comes home, he is healthy, clean and happy. Sometimes it’s a fight to make him want to stay at home with me because he’s having such a good time with her. It reminds me of just how lucky Kyson is to have so many people in his life that love and cherish him and want the best for him and just how lucky I am that she loves the biggest part of me which is Kyson.
So this Mother’s Day, not only will Kyson celebrate me as his mother but Belinda too.
After all, Kyson is the luckiest boy in the world who just so happens to have two mums who would do anything for him.
Who will you be celebrating this Mother's Day?