When I met the love of my life I was 22, innocent, naive and totally clueless when it came to relationships. I’m not exaggerating. I had lived at home all my life and I had very strong opinions on who I wanted to marry. He’d be a year or two older than me, never married, Catholic, cute…
My husband is the complete opposite of all that.
He’s almost 12 years older than me, he’s been married once before, he’s a non-practicing Mormon and he’s not cute. He’s handsome but a bit scary looking. If you bumped into him in a dark alley, you’d think you were about to be mugged.
Just as an FYI, you should know that this series of posts is sponsored by Pandora. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100 per cent authentic and written in their own words.
Anyway, I digress….
You’ve probably figured out by now that the aforementioned ‘love of my life’ is my husband, the scary looking, divorced father-of-two who is much, much older than me. Let’s just say that when I first met him, I had no intention of ever falling in love with him. I was teaching scripture at the time, I attended church regularly, I believed everything my Catholic faith had taught me about marriage and divorce, and I had been assured by a fellow Catholic in my family that if I started dating him it was tantamount to adultery in God’s eyes and I would ‘burn in hell’.
Yes, family functions are a bit awkward, even 15 years later.
So there I was, a complete innocent with incredibly strong feelings for this completely inappropriate man and after the ‘burn in hell’ convo, I wasn’t too keen on discussing it with any of my inner circle.
There was a nun at my church called Sister Ellie. She was the most loudly affectionate person I had ever met with sunshine coming out of every pore of her body. She used to say my name “Josephine” with the most Irish of accents, loudly and happily every time I came to see her to discuss the work I was doing with the church. It was during one such discussion that she noticed I wasn’t myself.
“What’s the matter, Josephine. You aren’t your usually sunny self.”
“I’ve fallen in love with a divorced father-of-two,” I blurted out. “What am I going to do?”
“Do you love him,” she asked gently. I nodded.
“Then love him,” she loudly proclaimed. “Life is all about love, so love him Josephine. Don’t worry about anything else.”
Life is all about love.
They are words I lived by, words I used to guide me through introducing him to my family, to dealing with their concerns, I used these words to navigate my way through the challenge of step parenting, to dealing with the fallout from his previous marriage and our impending one, to listening to his fears about our relationship and the mistakes he’d made and was desperate not to repeat.
I may not be the world’s best Catholic anymore. I’m way too curious and reasonable to follow all of the church’s teachings. But I know one thing. Sister Ellie was sent to tell me those words. My children are a result of her unflinching support.
I don’t know where she is anymore. I moved away from my local parish and by the time I came back a decade later, she had moved on. But I’ll never forget that the best relationship advice and life advice I was ever given was from the loudest and proudest nun I had ever met who didn’t know how to not love and support everyone she ever met.
What is the best relationship advice you have ever received?
Check out this gallery of some of our favourite couples because life is all about love.
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Top Comments
My mum, Sheralyn. I took her for granted for the first 20 years of my life, until she was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer and nearly taken from me. Then all i could think about was every little thing she'd ever done for me. She had a 9 hour surgery to have a full hysterectomy and to remove part of her bowel as the cancer had spread there too. Over the next 12 months she was faced with recovering from major surgery and undergoing regular chemotherapy. I wasnt prepared for any of it and i broke down a million times. But through all of it i was amazed by my mums strength and courage. She fought her butt off and won her battle. 3 years later i was helping her organise a benefit which raised nearly $20000 for the Cancer Council. This woman has taught me courage, strength and determination. But most of all she has loved me unconditionally and thats the best gift she could ever give me.
My Mum has been my support, my rock, my confidante from birth. I grew up feeling secure and loved which is a huge positive in a persons life.
My memories are of Mum taking me to Little Athletics, Gymnastics, Hockey, Jazz Ballet, Netball, Swimming - any sport I wanted to do...I was able. She was strict and always wanted to know where I was and who I was with.
My Mum worked hard every day and came home and created beautiful home cooked meals - my favourite was her stew & dumplings....but she also cooked the best home-made apple pies and blackberry pies (which we'd pick ourselves when in season).
My parents would spend quality time with my Sister and I and weekends would be spent camping or bushwalking or doing something together.
I had a negative marriage and break-up and became a single Mum, my Mum stepped up and cared for my daughter regularly, helped out with bills and food. Then when I became chronically ill...she always ensured I had everything I needed, no matter how she felt. She was also unwell and in pain but would never forget me and what I needed. My Mum even to this day will buy extra food and cook a bigger serving of dinner so she can deliver some down to my daughter and I. I talk to my Mum at least 5 times a day and see my parents 3 times a week as they take me shopping and out for a cuppa somewhere.
Even now, at 44, if I get a migraine or feel really ill...all I want is Mum to tickle my hair and wipe my forehead with a cold washer....it is comforting.
About 5 months ago Mum was diagnosed with Chronic Liver Disease (non-alcoholic type) due to taking lots of medications and Diabetes. She regularly needs day visits at hospital to have iron infusions as she is bleeding somewhere and they cannot find where. I just hope I can be as good a support for her now that she has always been for me. My Mum is my best friend and has shown me the meaning of unconditional love. And if I can be half a good a Mum as she has been....I'll be satisfied that I'm doing a good job.
My Mum is my inspiration, she still has her beautiful smile on her face daily and takes each day as it comes....and still wants to put her family first before her needs. My Mum is definitely NOT a Saint...but she is selfless, courageous, loyal, reliable, patient, accepting, with a love as fierce as a Lioness's - a one-of-a-kind soul.