If you're still spending time washing your silly little legs in 2024, it's time to reassess your life choices.
Grow up, folks. Grow up.
Matty 'J' Johnson has reignited this debate, and it's a question that occupies my mind at least once a week: should you wash your legs?
In the video, the father-of-two is seen washing his top half in the shower before the camera pans down to his legs, which are, er, singing the Moving Pictures classic, 'What About Me'.
Johnson captioned the post "Does anyone actually wash their legs in the shower?"
By this, I assume he means do you intentionally scrub your legs clean — not actually banish your legs from your shower, which sounds rather complicated.
The question proved divisive in the comments section. In the 'Yes' camp came one comment that simply read "Yes why TF would you not?" while in the 'No' faction, one follower explained, "Soap flows downwards so they get washed by default."
This is simple maths.
I'm of the belief you don't need to wash your legs, with the small caveat that you should if they're actually dirty. And even then, surely that's a rarity — like if you've done some farm work, for instance, played some type of filthy mud sport, or have just buried yourself in the sand to turn yourself into a sexy mermaid.
In these cases, yes go forth. Wash your goddamn legs with wild abandon.
But as an everyday reality with all kinds of modern innovations like socks, shoes and pants — most of us do not have dirty legs.
Firstly, for the morning showerers (who hurt you, btw?), why on earth did your legs get so dirty while you were simply lying in a bed like a lump?
But even for the night showerers (me included), the dirt from the day is unlikely to have clung to your legs. Are you trudging through two metres of mud to get home on your evening commute? Did you get caught in a dust storm during your lunch break? Are you stuck inside Jumanji?
Please get a grip.
@veronicakallday No mushrooms were harmed in the making of this film #legwashing #cleanlegs #whitepeoplebelike #showerroutine #PlantersTrickShot #DontSweatIt ♬ original sound - Veronica Kwiatkowski
Riddle me this: if you were rinsing a spoon in the sink, would you wash the scooped dirty end or the pristine handle? Leg washers will likely say, "Both, you actual weirdo", but I say, NAH.
You wash the actual spoon part, the handle gets rinsed in the process. Like... it's fine.
This leg washing question has been pondered in recent years, especially on TikTok. And it's a debate that got people equally riled up in the Mamamia office. Thankfully, I had some comrades. "No, I don't wash my legs or most places on my body because soap dries my skin out," Isabelle told me.
She's hardcore and I respect it.
"I just let the soap go down, I'm not that dirty. I would only wash my legs if I'm shaving," added Maddie.
However, these confessions horrified some of our other colleagues.
Listen to Matty J and Laura Byrne on No Filter. The post continues below.
"You have to wash your legs! They have dirt on them! Like, if I'm walking about town..." Em stated defiantly.
"If you're showering, you need to be wash your whole body. Why would you shower and not wash your legs??" Basmah added.
Well, because modern women don't have the time in the midst of hustle culture, sexy rat man takeovers, and Jennifer Lopez being cancelled again to complicate their life further by washing limbs that get cleaned as a bonus of simply being in the shower with the rest of your body.
Legs are self-washing, some might say. Legs are plenty clean.
Who amongst us has gotten out of the shower, leered down at their glistening pins and thought, "Oh my god, I forgot to wash my legs?? What have I done?? What happens now??"
It doesn't happen.
Forgot to wash your hair? That'll devastate you for at least five to 10 working days. My thoughts and prayers go out to these people.
But for the people smugly washing their legs every day, please do you — but don't force your questionable lifestyle choices on the rest of us.
Feature image: Instagram/@matthewdavidjohnson.
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