The Twins recap Married at First Sight: A very dramatic dinner party storm out.

March 4, 2020

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We open on Lizzie and Seb, and yeah, Seb has some urges of the sexual variety building up in his testicle region in case you were wondering. (No one was wondering).

They’re approaching the end of their honeymoon which has thus far mostly consisted of Lizzie rocking back and forth in a corner while muttering ‘surprise funeral STRAWBERRIES BIG ONES sucky finger SIR JOHN AIKEN cheatin’ scandal‘ while Seb dances like a robot.

KC and Drew are also having honeymoon… troubles… after KC found out about his ‘roommate’ Jessie who might also be his ‘wife’ with whom he has three ‘children’.

Clare and Jessie Stephens

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The Spill

When she brought it up with him, specifically the fact Jessie had packed him a special toy in his suitcase, Drew got very excited because he loves talking about his wife and told her about all the fun things they do together, such as going to the markets but also camping as a family etc.

But KC gets very jealous and territorial when her fake husbands already have wives. She says she's looking forward to discussing the toy with the other women at the dinner party to see if it's normal and mate. Their bar for normal is if your toothbrush isn't covered in shit so you might want to get your advice elsewhere.

But SHUT UP because Mishel is yelling at Steve about the time he told her he wasn't attracted to her, physically, while she was in her swimwear.

steve mafs — "When I hand you a problem I expect you to fix it."

"I’m not attracted to you physically yet, but everything else is there," Steve explains, and Sir. What would you like Mishel to do with this information.

Somehow, it comes out that for six weeks now Steve has been telling his good friends the cameramen/women, and by extension, all of Australia, that he's not attracted to Mishel, while she's been under the impression that her marriage has been progressing in a forward, albeit toxic, direction.

Mishel is so furious she shouts: "Don't come near me tonight or you'll lose your other f*cking ball!" and we don’t mean to pry but where did Steve's first ball go and was this before or after he fathered John Aiken?

Steve explains that he would just like to have a civilised conversation about how unattractive he finds his wife and if we could all just be a little more respectful about how much he doesn't want to have penetrative sex with Mishel because of her physical appearance that would be GREAT.

Meanwhile, Michael is talking about how he and Stacey are "back on top where they belong" and no.

THIS IS NOT A SHOW WHERE THERE IS A PRIZE. ALL YOU WIN IS A RELATIONSHIP WHICH YOU DON'T SEEM TO WANT THAT MUCH BECAUSE YOU CHEATED FOR NO REASON ONE WEEK AGO.

But Stacey and Michael are hoping no one will bring up any of the 'negativity' tonight. "It would be good if tonight was respectful," Stacey says, while Michael adds, "I hope so."

But we do not hope so.

Speaking of respectful, as they drive to dinner, Mishel asks Steve if he's heard of Charles Darwin, then tells him that Darwin wanted to dig a hole in the middle of Australia and put dumb people in it. And Steve would be the first one in it. Because he's so dumb. So he'd go in the hole. Where all the dumb people go and okay we're pretty sure none of that is true but okay Mishel, Steve would go in the pit.

When they arrive, they separately pour themselves an obscene amount of alcohol, before sitting on opposite sides of the room with Mishel yelling "YOU'D GO IN THE PIT, STEVE. THE PIT FOR DUMB PEOPLE," and sweetie, please.

The experts pause while rubbing their chins and hypothesise that Mishel and Steve appear to be fighting and for the love of God can SOMEONE remind us why the experts HIDE IN A CUPBOARD and then proceed to DESCRIBE WHAT EVERYONE CAN ALREADY SEE at every dinner party.

"I CAN'T WATCH IT," John Aiken shouts while covering his eyes and Sir you ruined your father's life the very least you can do is bear witness.

Finally, Evarn arrives and immediately tells Steve, "you don't look well," and Jesus, Evarn.

While Steve loudly announces he's over it and doesn't want to be here (cool), Mishel starts telling the girls about the time she found out her husband wasn't attracted to her after they spent six weeks pretending to be married. Trish explains to her fellow experts that what Mishel is experiencing is "public humiliation" and hi Trish, welcome, nice of you to join us this season.

BUT STOP PLS because Lizzie has arrived and everyone, but mostly Cathy, is starstruck.

She remembers the time Lizzie was on the show last year, and wants to know if she happens to have met local celebrities Ines Basic, Jessika Power and also even Martha Kalifatidis and would she have time later tonight to maybe sign her serviette? But only if there's time.

KC decides now is the time to open up about the demonic toy Drew's wife gifted him before his trip, and pauses to leave space for gasping. But Cathy's all like, "I don't get it, is the demonic toy covered in shit?" and she's like "What, no but it's from his wife? Isn't that bad?" and Cathy's like "So, to be clear, the toy isn't poo-ey? Like hasn't been in the toilet? Have you tried to brush your teeth with the toy?" and at that point, KC gives up.

BUT DINNER IS SERVED.

Lizzie doesn't want to be rude but she feels like everyone is very boring and dude, they're sick. There's a poo-related disease circulating have some respect.

At this point, dinner becomes far too quiet so Cathy's like: "OI MICHAEL DIDN'T YOU CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE" and yes Cathy good girl.

He explains that 'assuming he did' (you did) he's going to 'move mountains' to make it up to Stacey (you won't).

Stacey also interjects to point out that was the very first allegation of cheating and YOU'VE BEEN TOGETHER SIX WEEKS HOW MANY ALLEGATIONS WOULD YOU LIKE.

She would also like to add that Michael's cheating wasn't malicious (??) and that her mind might be changed if the same allegation comes up again and again and no. Josh isn't having it.

"WHAT DO YOU EXPECT," he yells. "SOMEONE TO COME UP WITH A DNA BAG AND SAY THERE'S HAIR FOLLICLES," and so true we hadn't wanted to say anything but what evidence is Stacey... looking for. Other than... people telling her. It happened. With their... words.

But while Michael and Stacey are defending the sanctity of their fake marriage, Mishel and Steve are spiralling. Violently.

And yes, Lizzie wants to be close to the yelling.

lizzie mafs — "Maybe her name is Mishel?? I honestly don't know."

Mishel explains that she feels betrayed and lied to since Steve told all of Australia he wasn't attracted to her and honestly... don't you guys have anywhere... better to be? Than inside this... cupboard. Commentating people... eating.

Somehow Mishel becomes convinced that confronting Steve, publicly, about their marital problems will be helpful and constructive, so yells a very slurred version of her feelings across the table.

Steve loses it and says he knew he wasn't attracted to Mishel when they got married and was waiting to see if the attraction would grow gradually, and when he brought it up with Mishel, he was hoping they could figure out how to fix it.

For example, maybe Mishel could become more attractive specifically to him and then it wouldn't be an issue anymore.

Sir. Steve. Aiken.

That's... ridiculous and you know it.

He yells that he's "f*cking over it," and tries to leave the venue but struggles to find a door.

Josh follows him, aggressively repeating "OI OI OI STEVE OI STEVE OI OI OI STEVE OI," and don't worry he can't go anywhere. John Aiken has bolted all the doors shut hehe.

Inside, Mishel is sad because she doesn't understand why people weren't supporting her and calling Steve a snake even though he was right there.

But Steve Aiken is gone now. Likely back to his wife, Helen, and the rest of John Aiken's brothers and sisters.

UNTIL NEXT WEEK.

For more gossip and lols, you can follow Clare and Jessie Stephens on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. You can also join our Facebook group, Married at First Sight Lols.

Catch up on all the recaps:

The Twins recap Married at First Sight episode 19: Lizzie is back. And we have... concerns.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight episode 18: Um. A couple was just forcibly removed from the experiment.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight episode 17: That's the most messed up thing we've ever seen on TV.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight episode 15: IT'S A GODDAMN CHEATIN' SCANDAL.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight episode 14: The fight that ruined David and Hayley.