If we’ve learnt anything from tonight’s episode of Bachelor in Paradise it’s that a) you can still get sunburnt on an overcast day in Fiji and b) there is nothing cute about a man telling you he wants to “carry you around forever so you won’t ever have to walk again”.
NOTHING.
Yet these were the words uttered by Ivan during his courtship of Tenille and excuse us while we try not to vomit all over our keyboards.
Oh but it got worse. He then proceeded to FOLLOW HER INTO HER BEDROOM WHILE SHE WAS IN THE TOILET. And then just waited… without saying a word…
NO. No no no no no no.
Just when we were starting to recover from him ripping out and stomping on precious Conga Line Brittney’s heart he had to go all Wolf Creek on us.
Tenille – RUN LIKE YOU’RE BEING CHASED BY A PRODUCER ON NICK CUMMINS’ SEASON OF THE BACHELOR.
Here's how Twitter reacted to Ivan, the new Bachie stage five clinger:
And, as we are after every night in paradise, we are left pondering the greatest mystery of the Universe:
IT DOES NOT. MAKE. SENSE.