By Jason Om
“Today’s just one of them days that’s unpredictable!”
It takes a good 20 minutes for the baby girl to stop wailing, finally pacified by a gentle bouncing in the air by her sleep-deprived mother.
“You can rock her other ways and it’s not the same. I think it’s just that lightweight feeling,” she said.
A child therapist is guiding the mother through a session of infant massage.
They are sitting on pastel blankets on the floor of a brightly-lit playroom, observed by a black fish in a bubbling tank and a pair of sharp-eyed owls painted on the wall.
At the Kamira rehabilitation centre on the New South Wales Central Coast, infant massage is used to help mothers recovering from drug addiction build an emotional attachment with their babies.
The mothers and babies stay at the centre for up to seven months as they seek treatment for drug and alcohol problems.
On top of their addictions, some of the mothers have also escaped domestic violence or sexual abuse.
“They really struggle to give that [connection] because they’ve never experienced it themselves,” explains child therapist Lindie Nell.
“They haven’t experienced nurturing touch.”
The mother in the playroom has had six children but only one is in her care.
“I didn’t only have an ice addiction, I had a heroin habit,” she told Lateline.
“I ended up looking in all the wrong places for that secure attachment.
“Whilst using, I felt that security.”
The mother says she wants to give her daughter a connection she never had.
“I lost my way [with] my other children. I want her to grow up without me being under the influence, for us both to enjoy each other wholly and solely,” she said.
“As scared as I am of relapsing that’s going to keep me on my toes. You’re in recovery for the rest of your life.”
The mothers who attend the program at Kamira face a stark choice: go to rehab or risk losing their children. For some it is too late.
“They’re very conflicted because they feel so guilty,” according to Kamira counsellor Christine Watson.
“They know within themselves their deep love for their child but they struggle to come to terms with ‘how did I let this get out of my control?'”
Ms Watson says there have been fewer children at the facility in the past several years because child protection authorities often remove them before the mothers enter treatment.
“The end result is that the mums are in here without their children and trying to deal with the grief and loss as well as deal with their issues underpinning their substance abuse,” she said.
Demand for Kamira is growing, with more than 750 requests for help projected for this year.
Many of the requests will be from ice-addicted women.
Yet despite the demand, the purpose-built centre is under capacity.
There are 22 beds in total but only 11 are made available because of a funding shortfall.
Kamira chief executive Kate Hewett says the empty beds had bewildered new residents who had waited for four months for a place.
She says some ice addicts on the waiting list had died while trying to secure a place, citing one woman who took her own life.
“It’s very difficult to prioritise,” she said.
“When the demand is so huge, who do you offer the next bed to?”
Another mother at Kamira told Lateline the empty beds need to be funded to help other women.
“People say there’s no spaces but there’s empty beds. They need to be filled,” she said.
“I know rehab saved my life. I believe every mum, if they’re in addiction, should have the chance to go to rehab.”
Anyone needing support for drug or alcohol problems can call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
This post originally appeared on ABC News.
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