BY ANONYMOUS.
Please help.
My boyfriend is gorgeous. I’m incredibly attracted to him. We have a really active sex life. And I’ve never had an orgasm.
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I feel like maybe I got myself into this mess. I’ve always had trouble getting to the finish line, and when I started dating Sam it was no different. But I really liked him and I didn’t want things to be awkward so I just… faked it. Then he thought I liked what he was doing so I had to fake it again. Then before I knew it, we got a lot more serious and too much time had passed and I just didn’t feel like I could say anything.
Now I’m in a relationship with someone that I love – the person that I suspect I’ll spend the rest of my life with – and every time we have sex I’m left feeling frustrated and unsatisfied.
I want to be able to tell him what I like, I really do. But I honestly have no idea what works for me. I’ve always had trouble being vocal with boyfriends, which means I’ve basically been sexually frustrated since I lost my virginity. I’ve never felt comfortable saying what I want, so I’ve never really figured out what I want.
It’s getting to the point now where I just don’t feel like having sex. What’s the point? Knowing that I’m just going to end up hot and frustrated means I kind of consider sex like work now. And that means I’m often resenting him. It’s not his fault – I know that. But I guess I just always thought it would get better; that when I found the right partner he would know what to do. But now I’ve found the right partner, and I still can’t orgasm. Part of me gets angry with him for that even though it’s not fair.
So what’s wrong with me? Seriously? Is there some kind of medical reason I can’t get there? Are some women just doomed to never have great sex?
I honestly don’t know what to do now. I feel sort of trapped. Not only am I terrified there’s something wrong with me, but I can’t talk to the one person I should be able to turn to for support.
I feel so guilty for lying to him. How do you say to someone “So, Thai for dinner? Oh, and by the way – I’ve faked every orgasm I’ve had since we’ve been together.”
What do I do? Should I tell him? Should I see a doctor? I’m freaking out.
A.Menarini Australia Pty Ltd
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Do you face issues in the bedroom that you can’t talk to your partner about?
Top Comments
There are more nerve endings in your clitoris than in your vagina so it's a no brainer that women orgasim through clitoris stimulation than intercourse. Before my husband and I have intercourse, my husband caresses and sucks my nipples which is orgasmic in itself than when he enters me and we start having sex, he stimulates my clitoris at the same time. Works for me every time.
Honey forgive me if I am assuming here, but have you ever explored your own body and know how it works and to work it? This was one of the first lessons I gave my daughter who's sex education started at 2 when she asked me, "Mummy were do baby's come from". We were discussing last year how so many of her girlfriends complain about the lack of sexual satisfaction in their relationships. My daughter thought she maybe abnormal as she has a minimum of 2 orgasms every time she's intimate with her Husband and every other partner prior. I asked her, how is it a problem for her...it's NOT, and then why does she think she has them so regularly? Her response was gold..."Mum you taught me it's my body my life my choice and if I want to share it with someone, I best know how to operate it so I can show them as well! AND YOU TAUGHT ME SEX IS BEAUTIFUL, NORMAL AND A WONDERFUL PART OF LIFE. I had no muddled up religion, taboo or any other preconceived ideas about it, like most of my girlfriends.
So honey have a look at your perception & the education you were first exposed to in relation to sex, and I have a strong feeling you will uncover your blockage there. If you want some assistance (I am a professional Counsellor) I am willing to assist you. XO
Lu Lu <3 <3 <3