I like supermarket shopping.
I wander the aisles, up and down, examining the produce and specials.
I trail in the deli to deliberate over chèvre or camembert, over swordfish or ling. I examine the labels on the back of muesli boxes to ensure I’m getting the healthiest variety and I carefully select the darkest of dark chocolate.
One day I took the kids. Big mistake.
The camembert became cheese slices.
The swordfish became fish fingers.
The trailing in the deli became tantrums in the trolley.
It wasn’t the shopping – no I still love that bit – but the whole experience of shopping with kids in tow.
A 30-minute dash to get bread transformed into a two-hour long saga with toilet stops and nappy changes and snacks to be doled out.
"A 30-minute dash to get bread transformed into a two-hour long saga." Image: Giphy.
A baby bag packed like you are headed on an overseas jaunt – every base covered just in case.
The fighting and the bickering and the “I-WANTS”.
The chasing one down the aisle while the other foot-stamps her way to a Kinder Surprise induced meltdown.
It made me realise that anything. ANYTHING was preferable to this.
Twelve things I would rather do than spend two hours at the supermarket with my kids.
1. Invite my mother-in-law away for the weekend.
2. Take my three kids to a high end restaurant without any devices. Sit down. I said sit down. Sit down now. Didn’t you hear me? I SAID SIT DOWN.
3. Go for a run without a podcast to listen to.
4. Er, well actually just go for a run.
5. Play Barbies with my daughter. “Oh Barbie you look lovely in that dress. Oh thanks Barbie you look lovely too. Thanks Barbie shall we try something else on. Okay Barbie whatever you want I’m just here to play Barbies with you as long as you need.”
Yep, you read that right. Image: iStock.
6. Clean my oven.
7. Have “the talk” with my 8-and-a-half-year-old again. “Wait, where did you say babies come out of Mama?”
8. Get a Brazilian.
9. Teach my grandmother how to use Instagram.
10. Invite three 4-year-olds over for a playdate.
11. Take an international flight with a six-month-old baby.
12. Anything at all.
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Happily, I’ve come to realise that when I can’t get out on my own there is a solution to supermarket shopping with kids.
Its quick, it’s easy, it’s definitely a money-saver (no extra treats bought to bribe little people) and you can do it from the comfort of your couch after the kids have gone down for the night (with that dark chocolate right alongside you), or anywhere with a Wi-Fi signal.
"You can do it from the comfort of your couch." Image: iStock.
Shop online.
You’ll never forget anything as most sites save your lists for you and your groceries can be delivered to your door at a time that’s convenient for you.
It’s safe, it’s easy and best of all tantrum free.
I still love supermarket shopping – but now I just love doing it from home.
What would you rather do instead of supermarket shopping with your little ones?