As someone who grew up perfecting the dance moves to 'Oops!...I Did It Again' and devoured Crossroads (was I the only one who liked that movie? #truefan), I can’t even begin to tell you how obsessed I am with everything Britney Spears does.
Like, did you know she has an entire highlights reel on her Insta page of her just... upside down?
And you bet I’mma watch every single one of her dance videos. Mostly out of concern (here’s hoping she really is okay) but also because it’s Britney b*tch, and she doesn’t give a damn.
Watch the Britney Vs Spears Official Trailer. Post continues after video.
Since her conservatorship ended in November 2021, the 41-year-old mother of two has NOT held back on the Gram. After 13 years of being under the control of her father, she’s finally free and doing whatever the hell she likes – including writing her tell-all memoir (at last!).
Okay, okay SHE isn't writing it – journalist and novelist Sam Lansky is helping her out – and I am hooked. Especially when she drops little teasers like this:
“I think some people are wanting to hear my story,” she wrote on Instagram on Saturday. “Either through a book or what have you???
Gimme gimme more, Britney!
“I’ve had to stop a couple of times!! It may take me a year, maybe longer who knows… to share my story!!!” she said.
“My great-grandmother told me two things that I will never forget!!! People come here for two reasons… either for a lesson or a blessing and she said, ‘Dear sweetheart, the real key to happiness is to forget every f**king thing that ever happened.'
“It’s a new day y’all!!!”
In the same typically cryptic post, Brit also attacked TMZ over its new documentary, TMZ Investigates Britney Spears: The Price of Freedom.
“The concern and just effort on TMZ’s part of being the trashiest news channel for news!!! Damn I’m flattered!!! These men who I have no idea who they are, are talking about me as if they have any right at all to do so!!!" she wrote.
“My girlfriend called me and said “Because I know you I was laughing at these men and what they were saying”!!! But she also said it was really disturbing how incredibly conniving and foolish it was!!!
“The media has always been cruel to me and most people probably wouldn’t even comment on it but I do think some people might believe this and I care!!! I almost feel like my life in the business has always been that girl at school who was bullied and laughed at!!!
“But in my case there is no superior person to set it straight !!! My dad was supposedly the one who was supposed to protect my mind and heart from things of this matter but he was the main one who was secretly loving it!!!"
And, look, there’s a lot to unpack there.
But as I continue to wait with bated breath for the pop icon to finally have her own say in book form, let's dive into what we know already about Britney's latest project.
1. It’s been delayed (like, majorly).
The tell-all was meant to be released in February 2023, apparently, but it’s now not expected to come out until the end of the year. Boo!
2. Brit will spill the tea on her Hollywood hookups.
“There’s a fair amount of throwing people under the bus, talking about past relationships, some of whom will be revealed for the first time ever,” a source told The Sun.
“Britney lived her life in the public eye but there are relationships and people she had encounters with whom she managed to keep under the radar, including some massive film star names and people from the music world.
“Britney wants this to be her moment she talks to the world, to tell her side of the story and set the record straight.”
3. Two former lovers are trying to stop the book.
One of the reasons for the delay is that lawyers for two people Britney allegedly had affairs with have both reached out to her publisher, Simon & Schuster.
“Strongly worded legal letters have been sent to the publishers by people who know Britney and who fear what she has written,” the source said.
“Britney is brutally honest in the book – there are a lot of nervous A-listers.
“She has wanted to go all-out with this book and tell her truth, and that’s what has people worried.
“There is no movement at the moment and there are concerns over when it will eventually be able to come out.”
Listen to Holly Wainwright on why she wants to apologise to Britney Spears. Post continues below.
4. The truth’s gonna come out.
The memoir will cover topics Brit has never spoken about publicly, as well as her harsh conservatorship and third marriage to actor Sam Asghari, 29.
The pair got married in June last year in a fancy ceremony that featured Madonna, Paris Hilton and Selena Gomez on the guest list.
5. The book deal broke records.
Britney’s publishing deal is one of the highest on record, worth almost $23 million.
“The deal is one of the biggest of all time, behind the Obamas,” a source told Page Six. The former US President and First Lady signed a deal worth an estimated $98 million to write multiple books for Penguin Random House in 2017.
6. It follows a public spat with her sister.
Family tensions skyrocketed when Britney’s younger sister, Jamie Lynn, released her own book, Things I Should Have Said, in 2022.
At the time, Britney accused her of “sell[ing] a book at my expense”.
“Congrats best seller…,” she wrote on Instagram. “The nerve of you to sell a book now and talk s*** but you’re f****** lying… I wish you would take a lie detector test so all these masses of people see you’re lying through your teeth about me!!!
“I wish the almighty Lord would come down and show this world that you’re lying and making money off of me!!! You are scum, Jamie Lynn.”
7. There are three different versions (so far).
Britney previously said online that she had “written three different versions” of her book and has “had LOTS of therapy through the process”.
I, for one, can't bloody wait.
Images: Getty + Instagram.
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