Look.
We know some of you out there prefer to immerse yourselves in the full, genuine Bachelor experience by turning a blind eye to every juicy piece of goss in an effort to avoid the swirling rumours surrounding who may, or may not, win the Honey Badger’s heart.
And that’s fine. You do you.
To be honest, I don’t get it – I’m pro-spoiler and always have been, but if you are one of these people, please, I beg of you, LOOK AWAY. This post is not meant for your pure, uncorrupted eyes.
…Are they gone?
Good.
For the rest of us, who rub our hands together with glee whenever a new Bachie spoiler pops up in our newsfeeds, buckle up.
We’ve gone back in time to round up every single Bachie spoiler that’s leaked this season and now we’re pretty sure we know exactly how it all goes down.
Here they are in chronological order, so listen up and listen good.
Nick basically confirmed he ends up with a brunette before the show aired.
Many moons ago (OK, so more like weeks), the Honey Badger let a little clue slip in an interview with Nova 96.9‘s Fitzy and Wippa
Michael Wipfli asked: “Have you got a type of girl? I mean if you look at past relationships, are they brunettes are they blondes are they outdoorsy type people or…?”
Cummins, who looked like he was desperately trying to remember what he is and is not allowed to say, replied: “In the past, they have actually been sandy blonde… and that’s why I’ve had a big changer.”
You know who’s not even remotely ‘sandy blonde’?
Britt.
And that was clue number one.
Nick's fam had absolutely no chill on Facebook.
THEN, as reported by Daily Mail, spoiler forum Bachelor and Bachelorette Spoiler Fans picked up on some intriguing interactions between current frontrunner Brittany Hockley and Nick’s family.
The forum shared screenshots of a public post on Brittany’s Facebook page from August 22 that’s since been made private, that was liked and commented on by Nick’s sister and another family member.
While Leigh Cummins simply ‘liked’ the image, Bernadette Cummins Bowler commented, ‘Happy birthday for yesterday!’.
RIGHT.
Cass and Nick went to the same cafe ON THE SAME DAY.
One Saturday earlier this month, Cass posted an Instagram story tagged at 'Dolce Terra Manly' and Nick had tagged himself at the same eatery at the same time.
At the time, this led us to assume they were hanging out...
Britt's sister did a thing on Instagram.
This is when things started to get interesting, sparking the very legitimate rumour that Nick has already split with the final lady (Britt. It's Britt... we're 99.9 per cent certain).
Britt's sister filmed part of a Bachelor episode for her Instagram story, showing Britt on a single date.
The Daily Mail reported a telling conversation can be heard between an unidentified male and female in the background.
The man can be heard in the video saying, "Maybe he's not ready to settle down...", to which another woman replies, "Maybe not."
Cass flashed a sparkler.
So... This one was pretty out there.
In a story shared to Cass' friend DJ Tori Levett's 121,000 Instagram followers, Bachelor contestant Cass Wood appeared to show off a big ol' sparkling ring on her engagement finger on Friday night.
But this wasn't just an accidental ring slip.
In the video, 23-year-old Cass' friend even zooms in on the ring, as Cass shows it off to the camera.
We personally think Cass was trying to trick us, which we do not appreciate.
Britt pretty much confirmed she's not with Nick.
Speaking to OK! Magazine, Brittany hinted that things are already over with Nick Cummins.
"There's no part of me that's in love with Nick," she told the magazine.
"It's way too soon."
The 30-year-old also shared that she feels much closer to her fellow contestants compared to Nick.
"At this point, Cass, Soph and I are closer with each other than we are with Nick," she added.
Nick was spotted with a mystery lady.
In a video shared exclusively with the Daily Mail earlier this month, Nick was pictured on the streets of Manly late on a Saturday night.
You can see the clip right here.
"I've been watching The Bachelor and [the woman] was definitely not one of the contestants. She was way too short to be Brittany," the source who captured the video told the Daily Mail.
"They didn't kiss or cuddle, but their body language was close. It kind of seemed like they'd been out for dinner and were saying goodbye at the end of the night."
Sleuths figured out that Nick won't be in the country the day of the finale.
You see, when the reality show normally wraps up, the Bachelor and his ‘winning’ girl typically head out on a days-long media circuit.
But this time around, it seems the Honey Badger won’t even be around when the finale airs.
Pointed out by fans in The Bachelor and Bachelorette Spoiler Fans Forum, it turns out Nick is locked in for an 11 day Kokoda tour from October 1 to October 11, meaning it’s likely he’ll be in Papua New Guinea when the finale airs.
Keeping a low profile, are we?
We figured out nobody wins because they're all best friends.
Cassie, Britt and Sophie sat down for an interview with The Saturday Telegraph and we honestly think there's no way they'd be this friendly if one of them had actually ended up with Nick.
“No man is going to get between us and our new friendship,” Britt said during the interview.
“Yes we are all there for the same reason, to find love, but this wasn’t a competition for us.
“In the end this experience was like being on a holiday with my girlfriends and finding a holiday romance at the same time.”
HA!
We went back and looked very closely at the opening montage.
There's Osher's smiling face, lots of sexy pool kissing, tears paired with tragic music, and that goddamn iconic voiceover of a man proclaiming that, yes, he has managed to fall in love in this hopeless place.
But that montage was also ripe territory for clues.
Because at this point in the season, with just seven women left, the scenes in the montage that haven't aired yet are particularly telling.
In fact, revisiting the six-minute teaser we were shown mere weeks ago pretty much gives away which contestants make it to the end.
As observed by news.com.au, one shot appears to be Nick Cummins with favourite Brittany Hockley on a date we're yet to see.
Then there's a shot of 25-year-old Sophie Tieman from last night's episode, having a steamy kiss with Honey Badger in a pool.
Finally, there's a clear kiss with Brooke, again in a pool, because no one involved in this franchise has had a creative idea in legit five years.
There's an interesting tweet about Brooke.
A fan tweeted a screenshot of a possible clue that frontrunner Brooke isn't the last woman standing.
She's actually rumoured to walk out of the show.
The screenshot contained a photo with what appeared to be a love interest, and the words "Best birthday present ever" with a RED love heart.
Yes. As we all know, a red love heart is not platonic. At all.
The time-stamp on the screenshot read 'yesterday', suggesting it was a recent photo. The question, however, is: when was the screenshot taken?
It's possible it's an old screenshot, taken before Brooke even signed up for The Bachelor, but it does seem odd that someone would be strategically taking screenshots of her before she was all over our TV screens.
Brooke's friend spilled some tea.
According to a "friend" of Brooke's, the 23-year-old dumped the former rugby star because her feelings for him weren't that strong.
"Brooke left because she was just not falling for him," the friend told Woman’s Day.
Supposedly because the Perth social worker wasn't as into Nick as he was to her, she decided to take herself "out of the equation" and leave.
We definitely know who the final two are.
Just over one week from The Bachelor finale, the Daily Mail has published paparazzi photos confirming who this season's final two contestants are.
The two women were spotted at Brisbane airport in late May or early June on their way back from New Caledonia, where the finale was filmed.
If you want to know who the final two women are, you can click here.
Or we can just tell you: It's Britt and Sophie.
A sneaky photo of Brooke emerges.
OK, so it's all very clear that Brooke isn't in the final two...
But does she leave the mansion herself or is she sent home?
Daily Mail has released behind-the-scenes pics that appear to show Brooke saying a tearful goodbye to Nick ‘Honey Badger’ Cummins and leaving the mansion.
It looks to me like it's pre-rose ceremony, just sayin'.
You can spy the snaps for yourself riiiiight HERE.
So, with all that in mind, our theory is this:
Cass is going home, possibly tonight, but might've ended up being "friends" with Nick after the show ended, hence why they caught up in Manly.
Brooke definitely, probably, maybe walks out next week.
Sophie and Britt are the final two aaaand...
The Honey Badger picks Britt, but now they're OVER.
Donezo.
Splitsville.
And that's that.
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