"I decided I wasn't going to find love sitting on the couch, watching Home & Away in my pjs."

By BAMBI SMYTH

I used to think that I’d find The One by going to a party, lock eyes with a handsome chap on the other side of the room, sparks would fly, and that would be that, followed quickly by wedding bells, a Labrador puppy and a couple of kids, all living happily behind a white picket fence.

Of course nothing like that ever eventuated, and I spent most of my 20s and 30s wandering aimlessly around parties as the supply of single men slowly dwindled to much the same numbers as honest politicians.

Just as I’d completely given up on men and vowed eternal celibacy, I went on holidays to Lombok in Indonesia, where, surprise surprise, I locked eyes with a handsome chap, sparks flew, and we ended up spending the next eight years together.

Not that it worked out beyond that, and I found myself at the ripe old age of 47, unmarried and childless, thinking I’d spend the rest of my life as a spinster plucking hairs out of my chin.

But I’m not one to take things lying down – or sitting on the shelf –so I decided I better get proactive. By now I knew no single men whatsoever in Melbourne, and besides, I’d never had that much luck dating Aussies, so I decided a trip to Europe might flush out a few likely lads. And then I thought, well, why not even further afield? Russia? Japan? Brazil? In fact, why not go for the whole alphabet? And thus the idea of Men on the Menu was born – I would travel the world looking for The One, and write a book about my adventures. Perfect.

Most of my friends thought I was mad. To them going on a blind date was like walking into a cage full of rabid monkeys. But what’s there to be afraid of? Really? You meet a stranger, have a bit of a chat, decide whether or not you have anything in common, and then from there it will go one way or another. Well – usually down the gurgler, but at least you’ve given it a go.

Bambi, always one for adventure.

I may have a bit more confidence – or perhaps lunacy – than many, but I genuinely believe that all women, whether single, divorced, never married, or heck – even still married but miserable – should get out there and be the architects of their own destiny, whether that be forming a relationship, forging a career, establishing a family, or hanging out with orangutans in Borneo. No one else is going to help you find your way, and with a dearth of marriage brokers in Australia, it’s up to women to do it themselves. To be brave.

Of course nowadays online dating sites are a popular way to meet men, but personally I find all that a bit clinical – what with all their checklists and questionnaires, and you’re just one more face in a sea of portrait shots and corny bylines.

No, for me at least, travel is the way to go. When you travel you’re relaxed, open-minded, curious, light on your feet, feeling adventurous. You meet all sorts of people with exotic backgrounds, interesting stories to tell, villas in Tuscany, and by golly, if they have a French accent, it’s game over.

You’re more likely to meet The One abroad than in your living room. Fact.

I read somewhere that you’re 30% more likely to have a fling when you’re travelling, than when sitting in home in your flannelette pyjamas watching re-runs of Home and Away. Well – duh. Of course, these relationships are fraught with danger – if you find love and want more than just a snog under the Eiffel Tower, you may find yourself with a G.I. Situation. Geographically Impossible. It will take a great deal of compromising to make it work. Also, when you meet people overseas it’s all exciting and new, but when the holiday is over and reality sets in, you may find that the gorgeous Portuguese waiter you fell head over heels for, or that sous chef in Club Med, are completely unsuitable as long term partners. And I should know.

Still, it’s worth a crack, and besides, what choice do you have anyway, if you’ve found yourself in a stagnant pond? No – come on – take the risk and leap bravely into a lake. Or heck, even the ocean.

Happy swimming.

Bambi Smyth is the author of the new book, Men on the Menu, which follows her on 75 blind dates around the world. The book is now available at all good book stores, for more information visit www.bambismyth.com.au