7am - My alarm begins to squark with a level of annoyance usually reserved for perky colleagues trying to sign me up for team sports.
To avoid facing the day, I scroll Instagram looking for distraction in the form of news updates or pictures of old high school acquaintances disguising their MLM schemes as #newproject #girlboss.
But today, my feed is groaning under the weight of gushy couple selfies, all accompanied by a range of imaginative captions along the lines of “the boy did good” and “I think I’ll keep him”.
All penned by the same women who just days earlier were bemoaning the fact that these “boys” had forgotten to pick them up from work, refused an urgent request to buy tampons, or left her dog outside in the rain. Resulting in said dog being placed on strong sedatives to combat her newfound PTSD.
Unfortunately, this heightened level of social media fiction can only mean one thing…
It’s Valentine’s Day.
Top Comments