“Mum, what are you doing?”
“I’m working.”
“What are you working?”
“‘On‘, darling. You mean ‘what am I working on?’. Sigh. “I’m writing, buddy.”
“What are you writing?”
Wriggle, huddle, knock, lean….
“Mum, why did you just write ‘f*cking cat’?”
“Don’t look. It’s for grown-ups.”
“Why do grown-ups want to read that?”
“Oh, I don’t know. But I hope they do.”
“I don’t think they will, Mum. It’s not very nice.”
Silence.
“Mum?”
“What?”
“I’m hungry.”
This is what it’s like working from home with children.
Okay, your day job might not require profane prose, but for the last eight weeks, mine has. I’ve been writing a book, and I’ve been doing it at home.
“How lovely,” you say. “That must be relaxing,” you say. “Must be great to see more of the kids,” you say.
Well, look. Working from home has its perks. You don’t have to wear a bra, you don’t have to brush your hair and the fridge is comfortingly close. But the downside is, it’s where your children live.
Zoe Foster Blake knows all this. That’s why, yesterday, she posted this picture. To you, it looks like an empty room with a pleasing fireplace. To me, and any other parent who tries to work from underneath a mountain of muddy cuddles, it looks like nirvana:
The very wise writer and entrepreneur Foster-Blake has rented a private space to work in. One that doesn’t have her two adorable little people. That’s because, over the course of her mum-and-boss-lady life, she has learned how to climb out of the Parent Trap. Not the one with Lindsay Lohan (who would ever want to leave that behind?), the one where you have talked yourself into staying out of the office.
It’s the trap that many, many new parents fall into. Faced with the ridiculous cost of childcare and the fact that they can no longer fit into their suits, they tell themselves a whole lot of lies. Lies like:
I WILL SAVE SO MUCH TIME BY NOT COMMUTING EVERY DAY.
I’LL JUST WORK WHILE THE BABY’S ASLEEP.
I GET SO MUCH MORE DONE WHEN I DON’T HAVE TO GO TO MEETINGS ALL DAY.
I’M A DISCIPLINED SELF-STARTER, I’LL BE FINE.
Does flexible work as well as it should? Some women don’t have another option, but does working from home put you at a disadvantage? The Mamamia Out Loud team discuss. Post continues after audio.
You won’t be fine. Depending on the age of the children who are in the house with you you will, in actual fact find yourself:
Wasting so much time on the school-run every day, which can easily turn into the coffee-run, the ‘I’ll just squeeze in the gym’ run and the ‘while I’m out I’ll nip into Woolies’ run.
Discovering that the day you need to get back home for a conference call will be the same day your 11-year-old develops separation anxiety for the first time, the teacher really needs to talk to you about Zebadee’s behaviour and they desperately need volunteers for the canteen (“You’re here! I bet you’d really enjoy it!”).
Remembering that babies don’t sleep in the day. It’s a myth. And if your baby does sleep in the day, the day you start working from home is the day they will stop.
Well, yes, meetings are a time-suck, but because you’re not in any of them (or you spend them banging your computer, trying to make Skype work) you have no idea what’s going on, and find that a paranoid sense of FOMO eats up five hours a day.
You are a disciplined self-starter but you are also only human, and a nagging sense of guilt over how long your kid has been on the iPad/not getting cuddles/been drawing JoJo bows across their homework book takes its toll on the most productive of us in the end.
There’s also the little matter of OH&S. This, for example, was my “standing desk” during the last eight weeks.
There’s no-one to sue here if I end up dented under a mountain of Fischer Price fun, is there?
So, a word to every parent who is working from home right now.
You are a legend. You are (mostly) resisting the urge to watch MAFS replays so you can keep play-time free. You are folding washing while brokering a deal on speaker. You are choosing to forgo listening to podcasts on your bus ride home so you can cook dinner for the smalls and then hammer out emails all night.
I salute you. From back in my office chair.
And your children will be just fine on the iPad for another 30 minutes.
Do you love working from home?
Top Comments
Lighthearted article, but not sure if it's generational. I've worked from home full time and half-office, half home for years now and it's been a work-family-fatigue balancing saviour! And I do better work overall because of it. And I'm happier, as is my family. All companies should offer flexible options! I genuinely don't have the same issues as the article writer, but every household and worker is different.
Just talking about this in the office today and my boss and I agreed that the ideal scenario for both employee and the business would be a half/half mix of office and at home. Some tasks you’re better doing at home as it needs more focus, others need the collaboration, and then of course the emotional benefits of both options. Would love to see this become more common practise.
I've been working from home for five years now and it's been good and not-so-good. My children all go to school so the daytime hours are my own but I'm really missing an office environment, people to talk to, being physically part of a team, not just a Skype one! I've been very fortunate to work from home to date, however I feel it's time to step outside again. Need an assistant Holly? ;)