Toxic diet culture and burnout: What it's really like working in the fashion industry.

This post mentions eating disorders and may be triggering for some readers.

From playing dress-ups as a child to pre-planning my work attire as an adult, I always knew I was destined for a career in the fashion industry. 

What I didn't expect, was that I would be living out my dream while recovering from a crippling eating disorder.

Although initially diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa in 2016, it wasn't until 2018 that my suffering collided with my studies and work within the industry.

After completing a Diploma of Fashion Business in 2018, I finished my course with the eagerness and energy of most determined millennials – passionate, and overly proactive.

From interning at high-profile magazines to brunching with industry frontrunners, I finished studying and hit the ground running.

Whether it was an internship, networking breakfast or photoshoot, I said yes to any and every opportunity that came my way. It was only a matter of time before burnout and exhaustion caught up to me.

In 2019, the combination of stress, lengthy hours and a rather toxic work environment lead to the escalation of my eating disorder. Between the years of 2019 to 2020, I endured five hospital admissions, some of which lasted weeks or months at a time.

I juggled the majority of my outpatient recovery with my work within the fashion industry. I knew being around that environment might prolong my recovery process, but I did so with the hopes of being proven wrong.

Safe to say, that was definitely not the case.

Toxic diet culture, obsessive productivity, burnout - although these issues were not the primary reason I developed an eating disorder, they did delay the time it took me to reach full recovery.

As fashion icon Karen Elson said, “Having an eating disorder and working in fashion is akin to being an alcoholic and working in a bar.”

Below are five of the issues I observed that desperately need to be addressed.

Toxic diet culture still exists.

I know what you’re thinking... aren’t we past this? Apparently not.

Don’t get me wrong, when I started my career in fashion I did – to some degree – expect problematic diet talk to rear its ugly head.

Whether it was models discussing what Pilates routine burns the most calories or photographers sharing their rather problematic views on body diversity, by the end of my first year in the industry, I had heard and been witness to it all.

What I didn’t expect, however, was who was circulating this type of toxic messaging. Hairdressers, make-up artists and photographers were the first I noticed, followed by interns, photographers’ assistants and even production crew.

Image: Supplied.

Because of being highly sensitive to any comments that may negatively impact my recovery, the more I surrounded myself with industry creatives, the more I noticed the full extent to which this behaviour was being enabled.

Little did they realise that a throwaway comment to them could trigger a potentially dangerous headspace for me.

Burnout is a badge of honour.

It pains me to say it, but in the fashion industry, burnout is as common as green juices and backstage breakdowns – it’s just expected.

Image: Supplied.

The idea that we should be so lucky to be overworked in the first place, is just one of the many dangerous workplace ideals the industry continues to normalise.

As my career and responsibilities developed, so did my workload. With each position demanding different hours, tasks, and abilities from me, it wasn't long before I found myself completely burnt out.

I remember a photoshoot I worked on with an international photographer. He decided that to shoot all the content he needed, the entire team on set would not break for lunch... at all. Instead, we kept shooting for another 5 hours.

This the point at which I realised he – like many creatives in this field – didn't care for the wellbeing of his employees. He wanted a great result, and if that meant overworking his team, that was what had to be done.

I was privy to situations like this far too often. Overworking either yourself or staff to the point of exhaustion should never be accepted nor encouraged – in any workplace.

The only thing burnout does produce is exhaustion, and no one performs well exhausted – no matter how successful you are.

Exercise addiction is more common than you think.

The fitness and fashion industries have long been known to endorse and encourage exercise addiction, or an unhealthy relationship with exercise.

Eating disorder aside, as a woman working within the fashion industry, I have always felt the pressure to remain in shape and ‘fit’. I believed – and to some degree, still do – that in order to be taken seriously, I must physically look the part.

Many people suffering from an eating disorder have perfectionist traits – myself included – and it was not uncommon for me to overhear other struggling creatives discuss their rigid, somewhat concerning fitness routines.

As someone who has tried to hide their own addiction to working out, believe me when I say that exercise addiction in the fashion industry can be masked all too well - from models over-exercising to stay fit to magazine editors exercising constantly to relieve stress.

Fitness trends like ‘75 Hard’ and fad diets like Keto are also playing into this notion that if we train like an athlete and eat like a supermodel, we'll be happy.

To combat the normalisation of exercise addiction, it's the responsibility of both industries to promote ideals and standards that support positive and healthy wellbeing.

Drugs and alcohol are a means of therapy.

One of the darker sides of the industry that I wish I wasn't exposed to was drug and alcohol abuse.

Whether it was an afterparty, label launch or brand milestone, you could bet your bottom-dollar drugs would be involved – and I’m not talking about the lighter stuff either.                                  

Having no interest whatsoever in drugs, I was quick to refuse any offers that came my way. But I experienced both peer pressure and judgement by those I admired and respected the most.

Being invited into these situations was almost a means of acceptance into the industry’s inner circle – but blab about what you saw and you would be outed.

Self-care is seen as unproductive.

From my own experiences and some very apt on-screen depictions – I don’t recall The Devil Wears Prada's Miranda Priestly ever taking a break – the fashion industry has never placed great value on self-care. And I don't believe it ever will.

During my studies, I was lucky enough to intern overseas at New York Fashion Week. Although I absorbed information like a sponge and enjoyed every minute of the experience, I was extremely stressed, exhausted and riddled with anxiety.

Though I was mentally close to a panic attack on several occasions, the option of calling in sick, letting my team down and disappointing myself was not an option – so I showed up, despite my mental health.

My choice to not prioritise myself and my health saw aspects of my eating disorder thrive.

There is nothing wrong with admitting you need a break, a day off or a moment of pause. The fashion industry is guilty of supporting behaviours like hustle culture and obsessive productivity, which also stem from a lack of self-care.        

Thinking back to my experience at NYFW, if I did see those around me actively engage in self-care, I probably would have felt more comfortable to do so myself. But the thing is, self-care is about doing what’s best for you and your wellbeing.

For me, this meant returning home from NYFW, setting realistic expectations for myself and notifying industry colleagues, supervisors, and friends that I was struggling with a mental health disorder.

Although the fashion industry did not give me an eating disorder, it did prolong my journey to recovery.

Anorexia has the highest mortality rate compared to any other mental health disorder. As we stare down 2023, it's time to push back. If you see or hear something that you believe contributes to an unhealthy ideal, speak up.

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you can contact the Butterfly National Helpline at 1800 33 4673 for free and confidential support, or email or chat with them online here.

Feature Image: Supplied.