by MELISSA CHAPMAN
I always thought taking our kids with us, and rarely leaving them with a sitter was proof of what great parents my husband and I were. Rather than leave them to LANGUISH in the care of a virtual stranger, and be relegated to watching TV- while said STRANGER talked on her cell phone, let them pour their own apple juice and get their little hands into the secret stash of chocolate- we were good parents because we’d never allow such a scenario to take place. No- we were those parents who schlepped our kids with us to sushi restaurants, or we simply didn’t go out. We couldn’t bear the thought of leaving them to their own devices, I mean, how could a parent leave their kid with a baby sitter?!
Of course you know at this point that this whole idea of leaving my kids with a babysitter was influenced by my very strange experiences with babysitters as a child– who my parents would leave us with. As soon as my mum waved goodbye- said babysitter would spend the rest of night ignoring us, inviting her boyfriend over and literally sucking his face off on our couch- while my sisters and I sat on our stairs and watched, both enthralled and slightly frightened all at once. Clearly my parents should have done a bit of a background check- but it was the eighties and how could they miss their weekly dancing to the Oldies at the Golden Gate Inn motor lodge with the free buffet and well times were oh so different…
So of course when I had my own kidlets- I made a vow I would be that parent who would never, if I could help it, escape the tedium of parenthood for a night out with my husband, while my charges were left at the whims of a teenager heady with power.
But last night, after an impromptu decision to bring my kids over to my sister’s house- they’re just two more to add to her menagerie of little people roaming around- and I know she will lavish them with attention and love, in between shovelling food into my so-skinny-I-don’t-know-how-he-supports-his-head son- my husband and I dropped them off and then proceeded to drive home under a clear blue sky with the convertible’s top down, like two young lovers.
I know it sounds so sappy and yet- I could not stop BLASTING JOURNEY’s Open Arms, and we talked, and we gazed at each other, and then we went out for dinner by ourselves. There were no mouths to feed, no cranky wails of; I’m hungry, I don’t want any more, my belly hurts, and I’m bored statements to contend with . It was just the two of us- and well it was GLORIOUS. And for that brief moment in time- I felt almost transported back to the summer of 1997, when we first met- and there was so much possibility in the air and excitement. And I realized I need more of these moments in my life and in my marriage.
So readers, I beg of you, I implore you– run don’t walk and get yourselves on a Date Night… NOW!
Melissa writes a blog based on her personal experience of being married to a man 15 years her senior. This blog is an honest look at tales from the marriage hood, kids and a dog. You can find it here.
Do you and your spouse ever go on date nights?
Top Comments
The last time we had a date night was our weekend away when he proposed... That was four years ago :( we have three kids and that's too many for most people to want
To baby sit, and both our parents live three hours away. Miss being a couple rather than mum and dad 24/7, but that's parenting, right? If I ever get down about it, my mum reminds me that "parenting means giving up being your own person for the next 18 years". Growing up with ideas like that I always feel guilty complaining.
I think date night is very important - after all, why did we get married again?? We have 3 children at home and we have an au pair who (only) costs $150-250 a week + food and meals, and they work 35 hours a week. They help with childcare (for that night out - can I even say weekend away!!!), and they also do laundry, cooking, get the children ready for school, school pickup etc. Check out www.thebestaupair.com or search "au pair" on google. You just need a spare room in your home. I can't express how much of a difference it has made to our family!