My boyfriend and I have vanilla sex, and you know what? I like that flavour.
Figuratively (and in some instances literally), we’ve tried to add sprinkles, chocolate syrup and whipped cream, but we always go to the basics to finish.
Don’t get me wrong, these add-ons can be fun, interesting, usually funny, sometimes awkward. But they never have the same impact as vanilla. They’re never our flavor.
Maybe we’re just doing it wrong. Maybe the readers of ‘Cosmo’ are more flexible than we are. Or maybe we’re lucky we’ve acknowledged that vanilla is our special flavour. At least in bed.
Outside of the bedroom, we’re wide open to experimenting. We’ll try moshing to ‘Municipal Waste’ with sneakers at eye level as someone crowd surfs. We’re open to eating goat and octopus and even bugs. We’re open to swinging 30 feet in the air only to drop into water from a rope swing. But in our intimate moments? We always choose vanilla.
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If, either, this is the first time that you've heard this in your life, or; I get this crappy pun past moderation; I'll be extremely surprised.
So, vanilla sex - your boyfriend just lies back and thinks of England?
It's much catchier than:
Your boyfriend lies back covered in sprinkles, handcuffed to the bed while dressed as a french maid and thinks of England.
I always considered the 'add-ons' stuff as occasional treats (sticking with the flavour metaphor). They aren't things you do every day (unless you want to of course, whatever works for you) otherwise they become vanilla themselves.
I'm sure even the most adventurous of couples would get bored swinging from the chandeliers every time.