Would you want your partner’s mum to watch you give birth? Because that’s what being proposed in my house.
I’m due to give birth in a couple months. And as the day approaches, it sometimes seems like I am the only one who is daunted by the entire process.
So much so, that I decided that I would like my mother in the delivery room.
After all, she has done this birth thing before. And she knows me pretty well. While we have the normal daughter-mother arguments, whenever my world crashes and burns, she instinctively knows what I need. Whether it is a “that’s just the way life is” lecture, or a hug to make things better.
When I told my husband about my mother being in the delivery room, he didn’t say anything.
So I assumed that he was probably grateful. Less for him to do. Not in a “I don’t want to be involved way” but he is the only other person freaking out about the birth. He doesn’t say it, I can just tell. And if my mum is there, I thought that he would feel less pressure during the birth.
birth experienceBut there is a big difference between his mother and my mum being there. Firstly, my mum has seen me naked before. In all my glory. My mother-in-law hasn't. Secondly, my mum has seen me in pain (and seen me angry), so wouldn't be shocked at the amount of swearing that can come out of my mouth. I say "skittles" in front of my mother-in-law. Thirdly, she's my mum. And my mother-in-law isn't.
When I told my husband I didn't want his mother there, and then he admitted what is probably the real problem - he said he didn't want my mum to be there when our baby's born.
He feels like it is our experience to have. Our moment as a couple of the birth of our child. And he didn't want his mother-in-law there. Because he said it would make him more worried that he wasn't doing or saying the right thing.
And so we are at a bit of a stand-off. I really understand where he's coming from, but really, I just want my mum.
So what should I do? Kick my mum out, or let his mum in?
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Top Comments
Why yes of course you are normal. Absolutely mothers inlaw should not be in her daughter in law's room. This is yet again another crazy notion that husbands, have been trying to push on wives, this crazy idea to let his mom invade his wife's privacy and her space. No husband on this earth can make that decision.
What is the purpose of a grown woman who is not related to the pregnant female, coming in to that pregnant female's hospital room anyway? I don't get it? She should be told to wait iin the waiting room like every one else. She is not the pregnant female's mother.
We are so disrespectful to pregnant females. But the same arrogant husbands are preaching about not getting respect.