"Dear person in the passenger seat, please don't tell me how to drive. "

BY AVI VINCE

Hold up there, dear potential passengers.

Hey, I’m talking to you back seat passengers too.

Before you pull that door handle, open that door and slide in, you need to know some rules. You also need to know that by getting into the car I’m driving, you are agreeing to those rules. And should you break those rules mid-drive…well…you’ll probably find yourself walking.

Here we go.

 Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by Nissan Qashqai. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in her own words.

I’m a responsible driver. And you will trust this. Checking my speedometer means you don’t trust me. So no checking. But you are welcome to help me out by reminding me about speed cameras along the way. You know. Just in case.

As you can see, this is not a driving school car. There are no brakes on the floor where you sit. So no slamming your imaginary breaks (again, this shows you don’t trust me). As you can also see, this is not a rollercoaster that goes upside down and backwards. So clinging to your seat belt is not necessary.

I’m not colour blind. I can clearly see the traffic light. And I can clearly make out orange. If I am going through an orange light, it is usually because the car behind me is tailgating and slamming on my breaks is only going to be a bad thing. There will be no holding of your breath and sucking in your stomach.

At an intersection, I will not move if you tell me your side is clear. Again, my eyes are pretty good. I have quite the ability to see. And I can see that car you are telling me will crash into us if we go. The only exemption to this rule is if I ask for your help. Don’t get excited.  This will be rare.

If asked, directions can be given throughout the trip. Don’t forget half way that you are supposed to be directing me. You may only stop directing me when I say, “I know where I am now”. And directions are to be given in a timely manner. None of this, “oh, you should’ve turned there”. Also, if you’re unsure, don’t pretend. Faking it until you make it doesn’t work when giving directions. If you don’t know, my friend the GPS will help us out.

Like suggested above, directions aren’t always needed. So if I don’t ask, I don’t want to hear your opinion on which route is faster. Because back roads are very rarely faster. They just give you the illusion you are getting somewhere.

As for that Katy Perry you can hear, she stays. It’s called, “Driver Decides”. If you don’t like Katy, well, I feel sorry for you.

Oh and while we are inside the car, don’t touch my nob. If you are too cold or too hot you have your own. I can change my temperature. Reaching over and grabbing is just rude.

When we get to our destination, you are my helper (now you can get excited). It is your job to assist me in finding a car space as close as possible to our desired point.

And finally, just one more rule. When I am your passenger, I get to break every single one of my rules.

Okay?

You can get in now.

And Avi isn’t the only one in the MM team who has her pet peeves. Here are some of ours  …

Over to you, tell us about the most annoying back seat driver experience you’ve had while driving?

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