'I was a contestant on a reality TV show. The way I was treated left me 'unable to function'.

The author of this story is known to Mamamia but has chosen to remain anonymous for privacy reasons.

I've just finished listening to Mia's No Filter episode with former Bardot singer Belinda Chapelle and it caused me to reflect on my own reality TV experience.

Recently, I was on a reality TV show and I can confirm nothing has changed since Belinda was on TV, 20 years ago.  

The audition process for the show I was on - which was not a dating show - was a rigorous five-step process, starting with a written application through to the final selection. 

On reflection, I can see it's a gradual process to suck you in and get you more and more excited about the opportunity. You're promised a life-changing experience and endless opportunities. For anyone dreaming of a career in the media, it makes it seem like a very real possibility. 

Interestingly, I was not given the contract to read until I was at the final stage of the audition process. By this time I was completely sucked in. That contract could have said I had to walk to the moon and I still would have signed it, but I was also very aware that if I didn't sign, I didn't get the gig.

I had befriended the other people who had been shortlisted, and I knew the competition was tough. I also knew the production company had choices. There were about double the amount of contestants they needed on the shortlist. I knew if I questioned the contract, my chances of being selected were greatly reduced. In fact, I'm certain I would have been shown the door right there and then. But by this stage, I had already bought the dream. There is no way I would not jump in headfirst.

I packed my bags and off I went. Left my family behind, moved states, and moved into a house with a bunch of strangers.

As a participant on a reality TV show, you are considered a volunteer, not an employee. And as such paid an allowance, not a wage.

My allowance was $76 a day.

For this $76 a day, I was expected to commit to a nine month, full time shooting schedule, work six days a week, usually 6am to 7pm, sometimes later and earlier if we were travelling to a destination to shoot.

I was told to shut down all my personal social media accounts, so I had a clean shiny start for the show. All those skeletons had to be gone from my previous life.

When I arrived,I had to surrender my phone and any other device that would connect me to the internet. They searched my bags to make sure. I was given access to a phone to call my family, but it was restricted to three 15-minute calls to and a 15-minute Skype call on a Sunday. They were timed and supervised.

In the house, I shared a bedroom with four other people, sleeping in bunk beds, and there was one bathroom between eight women. There was no glamorous hair and make-up team, we had to do our own, so often the bathroom line up started at 4am. We were also on our own when it came to our clothes. We also had to find the time to wash and iron our own garments. 

If we were "well-behaved", on our day off we were sometimes (rarely) allowed to walk, supervised, to the local shops to buy some personal supplies and have a coffee. This was considered a privilege and was often taken away from us if anyone broke any of the rules.

All of our power, freedom, and decision making was taken away from us so when I was eliminated from the competition after being in this cocoon for months, living in a shared house with every decision taken away from me, I was a mess.

The night I was eliminated from the show, I was dumped at a hotel, late at night with a taxi voucher to get myself to the airport the next morning and another to get myself home. I sat in that hotel room and had never felt so alone. I went into that place a strong independent person, but come out the other end stripped bare. I was exhausted.

I spent the next month basically unable to function. Looking back, I know now I was suffering from burnout. I was in a state of complete physical and emotional exhaustion. For months I had had no work-life balance, no social support. My workplace was chaotic, and I had no control. Every day I was in a state of anxiety because I had no idea what I was going to be doing next. That element of surprise for the contestants is gold on camera.

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The show still hadn't gone to air, so I was not able to talk to my friends and family about my experience. I was still isolated from them even though I was physically beside them again.

I sat in my lounge room on my own, staring at the wall, while everyone else went about their day as usual. It felt like I was hovering above my body, watching myself unable to function because of the extreme fatigue and brain fog.

Then, just as I felt I was starting to recover, the show wet to air, and the crazy started all over again. I was thrown into the spotlight with media interviews, magazine articles, photo shoots, TV appearances, radio interviews, all to promote the show. Again, I was completely under the control of other people. Being dragged from one thing to another. My new social media accounts were active and so was my new reality TV persona. I felt like an alien that had just landed on earth.

The good news is I have recovered, although it did take about a year. And my life has changed completely. I now am working in the media doing what I love, but at what cost? I have had to spend a lot of time recovering physically, mentally and financially from my reality TV experience.

This is the side of reality TV you don't hear about in the glossy magazines. You see, me and everyone else who has been through this is too scared to speak out because these huge networks have so much power and we all have careers in social media, publishing, business that we cannot afford to ruin. This is why, after 20 years, nothing has changed for the contestants on reality TV.

If you think you may be experiencing depression or another mental health problem, please contact your general practitioner. If you're based in Australia, 24-hour support is available through Lifeline on 13 11 14 or beyondblue on 1300 22 4636.

Feature Image: Getty.

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