If there’s ever an appropriate* occasion to gift someone sex toys, it’s Valentine’s Day.
*Disclaimer: It is never appropriate to give your weird neighbour one. No matter how chill they seem, you will be reported to strata. Trust me.
But back to V-Day. It's the most romantic day of the year. And for some that looks like a bunch of flowers and a boujie dinner out, and for others it means gathering your besties up, having a b*tch about disappointing men, and ordering desserts to be delivered to your door. Both, utter perfection. But both also have room for a little improvement.
...with a sex toy.
Hear me out. You're either buying a sex toy to use with your partner (which means a win for you too), to use solo (go you good thing), or as a present for a pal – and what greater gift is there than an orgasm?!
I'll wait. Because I know you won't be able to think of a better one.
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So, to share some vibrating wisdom with you, here are the five best sex toys that make for a genius Valentine's Day pressie for your partner, bestie or yourself.
Bring on the rundown!
1. Sila-A by Lelo, $207 (was $259).
Who doesn't love a lux moment? For their vulva? On Valentine's Day?
Well, this is the fanciest of fancy. Lelo are best known for their clever, sleek and ridiculously powerful sex toys, and this compact cutie sure lives up to that reputation.
With gentle sonic waves and a 'large mouth' (yes, you read that correctly) the Sila-A has the ability to cup and caress your clitoris in ways many other toys can't. Plus, it's packaged up in this sophisticated way which makes me kinda want to take pictures of it. Weird? Maybe. Brilliant? Absolutely.
This is the best sex toy for... the influencer in your life that wants to feel like they're giving themselves a five-star orgasm.
2. Curve by My ilo, $135.
Aussie-owned and made, My ilo has managed to make all their sex toys look like fancy homeware pieces that you would proudly display on your coffee table. And their Curve toy is no different.
It looks like it's carved from marble, but is actually made of a super luxurious and soft silicone, meaning it's comfy on entry and makes the buzzes feel oh-so smooth.
Oh, and the angels at My ilo donate $1 from every Curve sold to the Ovarian Cancer Research Foundation. So, that's like two gifts in one, right?
This is the best sex toy for... your aesthetically motivated pals.
3. Wilder Weekend Rechargeable Couple's Sex Toy Kit by Lovehoney, $94.97 (was $189.95).
Who doesn't love a buffet?!
Meet the sex toy equivalent of an all-you-can-eat feast. Featuring cock rings to prolong stamina and delay ejaculation, vibrators, jiggle balls, anal beads and penis sleeves. It's a goddamn smorgasbord!
This spicy little kit is on sale for Valentine's Day, so if you're planning a getaway with your significant other, it may make for a good addition to your suitcase.
This is the best sex toy for.. surprising your partner. Shocked and satisfied faces await.
4. Duo 2 G-spot and clitoral stimulator by Womanizer, $329.95.
There is only one thing better than a sex toy, and that's a sex toy that targets two areas of oofty-pleasure at once.
And, in my humble opinion, no one does this better than Womanizer with their Duo 2. As the name suggests, it has two areas of focus: the g-spot and the clit – two of the most powerful pleasure points for vulva owners.
Now, the device may seem a little, er... confronting when you first meet eyes with it. It looks kinda like a spaceship glued to a boomerang. But I promise once it's in position, it's super easy to use and makes a whole lot of sense.
For your first time with the Duo 2, I'd recommend lying on your back, with your knees bent and flopped to the side and a bit of Barry White on in the background.
Use the clit-sucker externally first by itself to warm up and then (with lube) insert the shaft. Unlike other penetrative sex toys that require a bit of manual maneuvering, the beauty of this is that you can just lie back and let the buzzing, sucking and vibrating do its thing for you. It's a hands-free, lazy girl's Valentine's DREAM.
This is the best sex toy for... ladies that want it all with minimal effort.
5. Escape clitoris suction vibrator by HappyMash, $195.00.
Don't feel like getting dressed up for Valentine's Day? No worries, let this little dude do it for you. Because, everyone else can totally see the button up suit style this vibrator is serving, right?!
HappyMash is an Aussie Lady Startup that makes the most fun sex toys on the planet. There, I said it. They are colourful, creative and designed with female pleasure in mind – making them a must-have in any sex toy drawer.
Plus, the Escape is a real multi-tasker. It can mimic oral sex with its flutter technology, and be used internally as a G-Spot vibrator. Plus, it's a general good-time-gal for external play too.
Talk about overachieving?
This is the best sex toy for... literally anyone you respect. It's a brill gift for your partner to use on you and themselves, a very cute gift for a bestie and, to be honest, I don't know anyone who wouldn't be chuffed to receive this sex toy. It's a champion choice.
Which toy will you be picking for Valentine's Day? Let me know in the comments below.
Feature Image: Mamamia.
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