On Monday, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre stood before the world’s media and spoke about aliens.
You see, strange objects have been floating into North American airspace in recent weeks. Strange, slow-moving, silvery objects.
The first was an enormous balloon that floated for five days across the US earlier this month. Then over the weekend, three smaller airborne objects were intercepted in as many days: one in Canada’s Yukon region, one in Alaska, and one in Michigan.
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All four were shot out of the sky by missile-wielding US fighter jets.
So what on earth (or beyond) is going on? Should we start hoarding canned goods and digging a bunker under the garage in preparation for extraterrestrial invasion?
Hold on to your tinfoil hats, folks, and let’s probe this mystery.
Start from the beginning. You mentioned something about a balloon?
Indeed. On the afternoon of Saturday, February 4, US President Joe Biden scrambled two F-22 fighter jets from Langley Air Force Base in Virginia to the coast of South Carolina. There, roughly 9.5 kilometres out to sea, travelling at an altitude of 17,678 metres, one of the jets fired a Sidewinder air-to-air missile.
Its target?
A balloon.
The Pentagon had been tracking this balloon for seven days as it drifted south west across the continental United States, from Idaho to the Carolinas.
It was large — roughly the size of three school buses — and slow-moving. It was also high. Really high. Between 18,000-19,800 metres. That’s almost twice the cruising altitude of a typical commercial aeroplane.
The un-manned balloon was determined to be a Chinese intelligence gathering device. In other words...
A Chinese spy balloon?
Exactly. A spy balloon. (Who knew espionage could be so festive?)
In Monday’s White House press briefing, National Security Council Coordinator for Strategic Communications Admiral John Kirby said the balloon was part of a Chinese intelligence program that had been operating around the world for several years.
"We know that these PRC [People’s Republic of China] surveillance balloons have crossed over dozens of countries on multiple continents around the world, including some of our closest allies and partners," Admiral Kirby said.
He explained that despite their size and (lack of) speed, these balloons can be difficult to detect on radar.
This particular balloon, meanwhile, was spotted by several members of the public within a couple of days of entering US airspace.
As it floated across the country, including over sensitive military sites, President Biden faced mounting pressure to bring it down ("POP THIS BALLOON!" pleaded one NY Post front page). But officials stressed that the potential damage of falling debris outweighed any threat posed by the balloon itself — after all, existing Chinese spy satellites could likely do much the same job. And so they waited until it was out to sea.
Meanwhile, Chinese officials insist the aircraft was nothing more than a weather balloon that had blown waaaay off course. They also shot back with allegations that the US had flown high-altitude balloons over its airspace without permission more than 10 times since the beginning of 2022. (A claim the US has since denied.)
So, that’s solved. But what are the other flying objects?
That’s where the mystery lies. It’s currently not known where the other objects came from, what purpose they serve, or if they are in any way connected to the Chinese spy balloon.
The ones intercepted in Alaska and Canada were described as "balloon-like" with small cylindrical metallic objects attached, while the other first spotted in Montana and shot down over Michigan reportedly had an octagonal structure with "strings hanging off" and was roughly the size of a small car.
As the three objects were shot down over remote terrain, authorities are still working to recover what’s left of them and complete their investigation.
However, Admiral Kirby did say that a few things are clear at this early stage: the objects were not manned; they were not propelled or being manoeuvred; they were not sending communication signals; and they did not pose a threat to people on the ground.
The only apparent risk was that posed to commercial air traffic, as the objects were operating at a far lower altitude than the Chinese spy balloon.
"While we have no specific reason to suspect that they were conducting surveillance of any kind, we couldn’t rule that out," Admiral Kirby said.
Admiral Kirby promised to update the public once more is known.
In the meantime, imaginations have been left to run wild. What are these things? And who sent them? (Cue X Files theme music.)
One theory is that the Chinese government released them to test US detection capabilities in the wake of the spy balloon discovery.
But that’s not nearly as titillating as the idea that the objects belong to aliens, so a large number of folks on social media have decided to run with that theory instead.
So, what did the White House have to say about the alien theory?
Over to Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre.
"I just wanted to make sure we address this from the White House," she said during Monday’s press briefing. "I know there have been questions and concerns about this, but there is no — again no — indication of aliens or extraterrestrial activity with these recent takedowns.
"I wanted to make sure that the American people knew, that all of you knew, that. And it was important for us to say that from here, because we’ve been hearing a lot about it."
When asked by an intrepid reporter whether she would tell the press if there actually was evidence, she answered, "You know, I loved E.T., the movie. But I’m gon — I’m just going to leave it there."
Just in case the aliens are reading this, we loved E.T. too.
Feature Image: AAP.
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