'I gave up my career to be a homemaker and housewife. Here's how it's going.'

25-year-old American woman Estee C. Williams says she has chosen the #tradwife lifestyle on her own terms.

Some years ago, she stepped back from a career in meteorology, to focus on her family life instead.

For over a year Estee has been following the tradwife practice of 'submitting' to her husband and partaking in homemaking, telling Mamamia she personally doesn't think that makes her less than a man, rather just an "equally different role".

Looking to have kids in the future as well, Estee now regularly posts #tradwife content on TikTok, saying she feels a sense of relief in no longer having "to do it all".

In recent weeks she has posted videos of her baking her husband's birthday cake and a day in her life cooking, cleaning, primping and more. 

@esteecwilliams Day in the life as a traditional wife #fyp #tradwife #traditionalwife #ditl #traditionalgenderroles #homemaker #housewife #femininenotfeminist #housewivesofamerica #traditionalmarriage #nuclearfamily ♬ Summer day - TimTaj

@esteecwilliams Yesterday my husband turned 24 and i baked him this delicious almond cake. Link to recipe ⬇️ https://www.mycakeschool.com/almond-cake-a-scratch-recipe/ . #fyp #birthdaycake #baking #tradwife #traditionalmarriage #cookingformyhusband #birthdaydinner #freshpasta #lemonpasta ♬ original sound - sped up songs 🫶🏼

@esteecwilliams The ✨Tradwife✨ Movement! Welcome to corner of the internet where women are rejecting any means of chasing a career and embracing their role as homemakers thus serving their families full-time ❤️ #fyp #tradwife #tradwivesoftiktok #traditionalmarriage #traditionalgenderroles #homemaker #makewivesgreatagain #therealtradwivesoftiktok #rejectingfeminism #femininenotfeminist #traditionalwife #traditionalhousewife #tradtok #womenteachwomen #nuclearfamily #tradwifecontroversy #takebackthehome #wivesthatstayhome #wifehood ♬ original sound - Estee

It reflects a subculture online that is growing in momentum. It's #tradwife. 

Tradwife - short for traditional wife - is a growing movement, referring to the rise in modern-day women choosing to embody ultra-conservative 'gender roles' and societal traditions from generations prior. 

It's not a representation of women who don't work outside the home or who are the sole parental caregiver. It's far more than that. 

It's '50s fashion, and 'housewife' energy. A devotion to one's family. A clear division of labour. A heteronormative outlook on gender, femininity, sex and identity. And an appreciation for traditional values of the past. 

It's a subculture of sorts, that many argue, does reflect patriarchal thinking.

But for many women who identify as traditional wives, they feel differently. 

But first, watch: Some simple questions to find out if you're a feminist. Post continues below.

"We [fellow tradwives] believe our place, specifically us as individuals believe our purpose is to be homemakers," Estee says.

"It doesn't mean that we're trying to take away what women fought for. No tradwife TikTokers are saying every woman's place is in their home, we as individuals are just choosing to be homemakers."

To share her perspective a bit more, here are 15 questions Estee receives all the time - and her honest answers to them.

Growing up, were there heteronormative 'gender roles' in your immediate family?

"I did not grow up traditional at all! Both my parents worked and watching my mum work and raise us kids, cook and clean and struggle to feed herself, I just knew I didn't want to feel that way when I grew up."

Do you think that impacted what you wanted for your own family and household one day?

"Yes, growing up 'untraditional' made me want this more traditional marriage for sure. I like the divided roles within the home based on gender."

What attracted you to being a homemaker and housewife?

"I knew I wanted to be a housewife when I met my husband and he told me on our first date he wanted to give the ideal woman the stay at home wife role. I secretly wanted this lifestyle even as a student."

What are your favourite things to do in the home?

"My favourite things to do around the home are cook, clean, and take care of myself. I make sure to start the day with a full face of makeup, groomed hair, and a house dress! It's like a uniform and it gets me started on my daily house tasks. I spend anywhere from three to five hours a day in my kitchen and I clean for one to two hours max."

How about your least favourite?

"I do not like yard work. That is always boring. I enjoy gardening but when the leaves fall that's always my least favourite."

Do you have friends or online friends who also identify as tradwives?

"I have online friends that are traditional wives, but I have unfortunately not found anyone in my community that lives similar to the way I do."

Do you think religion plays a part in your appreciation of tradition and hetero-normative gender roles?

"Yes, Christianity has played a large role in my decision. When I started becoming a strong believer, I also became more firm in my purpose to be a homemaker."

How does your husband feel about the whole 'traditional wife' concept?

"My husband supports my lifestyle 100 per cent and loves that I'm so passionate about my role that I've dedicated my social media to showcasing this life. I do believe my love language is serving my partner. Acts of service has always made my husband feel loved and respected."

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Estee Williams (@esteecwilliams)

What does your wider circle think about you identifying as a tradwife?

"For the most part, we get support. Some people think this lifestyle can end bad and have financial issues but I believe proper budgeting and respect is how you can always make this life work."

How are you financially setting up for your future as a couple?

"It definitely takes some adjustment with the criticism I've received on social media. Many people say I'm setting women up for domestic abusive relationships when depending on a man financially. Many people bring the '1950s housewife' trope into my lifestyle. I enjoy the 50s aesthetic and fashion but that's about it. Financially we are setting our future up by using 1) budgeting, 2) sacrifice, and 3) multiple sources of income. I follow many people who are travelling to exotic countries but my husband and I are not and that's okay. We have chosen a path where more sacrifice is needed!"

Is your personal financial security something you're wary about?

"I am not concerned with my personal financial security. We are married and when we vowed ourselves to each other, we became one. His money is now our money. He puts our home, cars and businesses into both our names and has never given me a reason to not trust him. I put both all my eggs into this basket because that's what marriage is."

Were you once interested in pursuing a career outside the home? How do you feel about that now?

"I once was a student studying meteorology until I met my husband and I no longer feel the burden to uphold all the high standards I feel were placed on me at one point. I am liberated from having to 'do it all' and now I am simply a traditional wife who takes care of my home and husband."

Listen to the women on Mamamia Out Loud discuss their thoughts on the concept of tradwives. Post continues below.

If you had daughters, is this something you would want for them? Or would you be content if they followed a different path?

"If we had daughters, we would want them to gain the confidence to choose what would make them happiest in life. We would never pressure any of of future children into living any lifestyle."

How do you feel about women who do work outside the home or don't relate to the tradwife lifestyle?

"I support women who choose to work or be stay-at-home wives and mothers. We all aren't meant for the same purpose in life. Many women thrive off having careers. Both my sisters are what you would consider 'boss babes' and they are so happy and fulfilled in life. I support women choosing what makes them happy."

How do you think the concept of 'choice' play into the arguments surrounding tradwives?

"I recently made a video talking about this lifestyle being my choice and that women now have the choice which is a beautiful thing. It's 2023 not the 50s. Women can work, stay home, or do a mix of both. It's an amazing time in history as a woman. I believe women should start supporting each other and our individual choices instead of dumping our past trauma, or commenting personal feelings on a subject simply because we don't believe in it for ourselves. It's okay to NOT want what others have, but kindness and support go a long way. 

"Women have so many choices out in the world and some women are choosing to reject those career focused lives to live more simple lives. Getting married, making babies, and taking care of a home are very valid life goals and should be celebrated just as much as a woman choosing a career."

For more from Estee Williams, you can follow her on TikTok here and Instagram here. 

This article was originally published on February 28, 2023, and has since been updated with new information. 

Feature Image: Instagram @esteecwilliams.