My relationship with my mother had always been quite good, or so it seemed to me.
We were very close, and it’s the ‘were’ in that sentence that breaks my heart a little. You see, over the past year or so we’ve drifted apart. Well, not so much drifted apart as had a bomb planted that blew us apart.
It was a bomb that had probably been growing over time, with more and more explosives added to it over the years until it just got too big and had to detonate. It has become clear to me that our relationship was a controlling one which only worked so long as she was in control, and I did as was expected of me.
If ever I did something she perceived as ‘wrong’, she would first blow up in a yelling, abusive tirade, bringing up every way in which I may have slighted her over the years, and all the ways she thinks I’m failing in my life. She would never give me a chance to defend myself, and defending myself would have been pointless anyway because she was never, ever wrong.
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Why are my comments being deleted? Everyone's point of view is equal to all others.
We all hear about domestic violence. What is not spoken about and is a form of domestic violence is narcissistic adult children who estrange themselves from their parents, use their children as manipulating pawns to try to control their parents, and play the victim in the whole affair. If you want to recognise narcissistic tactics - look for how they accuse their target of imagining slights (gas lighting), how they blame their targets for their own actions and claim their target forced them to do it, how their target should be the one to change to suit them, how they are blameless.
The grandmother is the controlling, manipulating, abusing one! I don't know why you think the daughter is narcissistic!
I fully understand what you mean... I have an adult daughter that has tried to control and bully me all her life. I tried to stop it when she was young, but she was manipulative, spiteful and nasty - not only towards me, but to others, including her sisters. She called me on the phone almost three years ago, put me down, judged me, criticized me, and carried on with her usual manipulation tactics whilst I tried to patiently defend myself with tears rolling down my cheeks. Whilst this was happening, I was also trying to deal with watching the love of my life dying from terminal cancer. She told her sister she wished me dead, that no man would ever want me or would put up with me, then tried to turn the story around and get my mum and brothers to turn against me. She worked on them for almost 3 months before any of them told me, except for my mother, who fully supports me as she knows me better than anyone else. She's also witnessed what my daughter is like. One brother is fully supportive, one is staying neutral but has offered me no support, and the other one is on her side. She's wiped my mum and her youngest sister also. I have 2 granddaughters aged 4 and 1 that I no longer see... I'm heartbroken, even though I know I'm better off out of this toxic relationship.
In this site who is given the job of allowing or not allowing comments. Is Anon - the author of this piece the one deciding what other posters can and can not say?
I just find it very odd that only posts that agree with Anons point of view are allowed. Anyone wanting to express another opinion or experience are having their comments deleted. I read this story of Anons out to people in the office and it was met with rolled eyes and lots of "hang on - but she just said the opposite".
I have copies of my two deleted posts pointing out the discrepancies in this woman's story about her mother.
Is deleting my posts - made in the spirit of "let's be honest here" within the charter mamamia operates by. Is free speech squashed here.